Brenda Jackson - Married Or Not?

Sherri eventually worked through her grief, but at a price. She learned to keep people at a distance and to refuse offers of help, because depending on others who might leave her was too painful to contemplate. If she didn’t let anyone too close, she didn’t have to suffer the possibility of enduring another debilitating loss.

She had learned to survive whatever life threw at her without whining and to make tough choices, even if there was a price to pay. Her one attempt, after she’d become an adult, to allow herself to get close to someone had turned out to be a disaster.

Now Sherri concentrated on being an exceptional technical writer and was happy to forgo the painful pleasures of a relationship.

She was engrossed in finishing the technical manual she was working on—the one that had to be at the printer next week—when she heard that her boss, Brad Horton, had called a meeting for ten o’clock that morning.

Nobody seemed to know why. They generally had their meetings on Mondays. She looked at the manuscript with yearning. She was so close to finishing. With any luck the meeting would be short and she could spend the rest of the day finishing and polishing her work.

When she arrived in the conference room, there were fifteen other employees there. Why would Brad call a meeting for a few of them and not the entire work force? Was there some kind of rewards announcement he planned to make?

Sherri looked around the room. There were people from her department as well as from other sections of the company. Maybe all their hard work had paid off. Maybe Brad planned to give them midyear bonuses.

Yeah, right.

None of them had any idea why they were there and the room was buzzing when Brad strode into the room.

“Thank you for being here,” he began, his hands clasped behind his back. “As you know, we’ve been having difficulty meeting our quarterly sales projections. Management has spent considerable time and effort to come up with a solution and we have had to face the reality that the best thing for the company is to lay off some of our employees.”

A collective gasp swept the room. Sherri’s heart stopped before it began to race. Was he talking about her? She glanced around the table and saw that everyone was looking at him in various degrees of shock.

“I want you to know that none of this has anything to do with your performances,” he continued to say as her heart sank. “Each and every one of you is excellent at what you do. It’s just that we’re being forced to cut costs and unfortunately, this is the only way we can do it.”

She was horrified. And embarrassed. No matter how Brad phrased it, each of them was being fired.

Sherri struggled to come to grips with the whole idea. She had never been fired before. Sherri had always received praise for the work she did. Why would they choose to let her go? She understood the economics, but why was she one of the employees chosen to be laid off?

Her thoughts were bouncing around in her head and she broke out in a cold sweat. What was she going to do? How was she going to face Joan and tell her she’d lost her job? The reason Joan had asked Sherri to be her roommate was because the rent was too much for Joan by herself.

“To make the transition a little easier for each of you…” Brad continued. Sherri forced herself to listen. She had to concentrate. She couldn’t display her despair in front of everyone. “…you will each receive a check for two weeks’salary and any vacation leave you have coming.

“You’re talented people. Remember that. This is strictly a business decision.”

He looked around the room. “Any questions?”

No one spoke. Finally Sherri raised her hand.

“Yes, Sherri?”

“Uh, Brad, you know the manual I’ve been working on? I’ve been getting it ready for the printers next week. Do you want me to finish it before I leave?”

He shook his head. “I appreciate your offer, but no. We’ll have to deal with this without you.” He looked around the room. “Any others?”

No one said anything.

“In that case—” He reached into his coat’s breast pocket and pulled out a sheaf of envelopes. “When I call your name please pick up your check from me. There will be someone waiting at your desk to help you clear out your things.”

The ultimate humiliation. She would have to clean out her desk while someone looked over her shoulder to make certain she didn’t take something that wasn’t hers.

With all the dignity she could manage, Sherri walked to the head of the table when her name was called, took her check and returned to her desk. A smile was beyond her.

No one was talking. Those remaining with the company had their heads down, working. Had she been in their place, she would no doubt have done the same. She was now separated from them. They worked here. She didn’t.

Numbly she found a box and began to strip her desk of reference books and other odds and ends she’d accumulated over the past three years.

She was escorted out of the building and once in the parking lot, Sherri hurried to her car, at the moment the only escape and sanctuary she had. The inside of the car steamed with heat and she quickly rolled down the windows while she placed the box on the backseat. Inside the car, Sherri placed her hands on the steering wheel and stared blindly through the windshield.

What did I do wrong? I was rarely late and always called in. I didn’t take sick days like some of the others. Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped that meeting a few weeks ago in order to meet a printing deadline .

Panic surged through her. What about her part of the rent and utilities? She had money put away for emergencies, but nothing like this. She’d have no income to take care of bills.

The money left for her by her parents had enabled Sherri to pay for her college education and to buy herself a car. She’d been thankful not to have to worry about student loans and very grateful for their foresight.

What was she going to do? She had to get another job, but where?

She’d have to go through interviews, which she detested. She’d have to tell them she’d been laid off. Would that be a black mark against her?

Her eyes finally focused on a few people standing near their parked cars, discussing what had happened. She didn’t want to discuss what had happened with anyone. What she wanted to do was go back home and hide under the bed, or at least hide her head under her pillow.

Her life had been so carefully structured. She’d believed that working hard and honing her skills would protect her.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. She turned the car on and waited for the air conditioner to blow some cool air before raising the windows.

She couldn’t sit in the parking lot all day. She had no place else to go but home. Thank goodness school was still in session. She wouldn’t have to face Joan until later today.

Joan planned to spend most of her summer with three of her teacher friends traveling around Europe. They were leaving the latter part of June.

Sherri knew she was being cowardly, but she wished that this could have happened after Joan had left. She could have used the time to pull herself together and make some kind of plans.

She felt sick to her stomach. She had to get through this, somehow.

Sherri flipped the visor down and stared at herself in the mirror. “So. What do you intend to do now?”

The image in the mirror, with its dark-brown hair, green eyes and pasty white skin stared back blankly.

“Try not to panic. You can do this.”

She flipped the mirror up and eased the car forward. As she pulled out of the parking lot, Sherri thought of one positive…at least her car was paid for. That was one less worry. It was a few years old but she took good care of it. She only prayed nothing major broke down until she had a steady income once again.