Penny Jordan - What You Made Me

‘God, you’re hard.…’

‘I’m what you made me,’ he corrected cruelly, ‘Do you feel proud of your handiwork? Does it give you a thrill to know that you and you alone are responsible for what I am today? When you left I had nothing.…

‘I laughed when I heard Rivers had ditched you and married someone else. Can you believe that?’

‘Very easily,’ Philippa told him dryly. She was both fascinated and revolted by what he had become. Knives of fear and panic twisted in her stomach and she wanted to protest that he was wrong to feel so bitter; that she had acted purely out of love for him and nothing else. Where had it all gone so wrong? His grandfather had been so sure he would marry Mary, it hurt to think that she had given him up for nothing. Perhaps if she had been older she would have seen that he could never be a man to do another’s bidding but she had been young and very, very frightened. She had thought of herself as some dreamy novelette heroine, sacrificing her own happiness for that of her lover, but all she had done was sacrifice both of them… no, all three of them, she thought, remembering Simon’s pale, unhappy face.

‘I’ll have to get in touch with Simon’s school and arrange to sub-let our flat… I’ve already spoken to my boss, but.…’

‘You can do all that from the house. I’ll drive you down to the school this afternoon. Simon can come with us. Does he know whose son he is?’ he asked stunning her. It was several seconds before she could get her breath.

‘Yes,’ she managed, telling the truth. ‘He does know.’

‘And he’s forgiven you?’ His lips twisted. ‘It seems to me that Simon and I have something in common, you’ve cheated us both.’

More in common than he could possibly know, Philippa thought half-hysterically, glad when Simon came back downstairs, his eyes brightening when they fell on the car parked outside.

‘Can I go and have a look at it?’ The question was for Scott and not her, Philippa realised bitterly, wondering how on earth Scott was blind enough to ignore the almost startling resemblance between them when they were together, and wondering how long it would be before less prejudiced eyes did see it.

‘You can look, but don’t touch.… I don’t want that wrecking as well,’ Scott cautioned dryly, watching Simon’s thin face flush.

‘If you’re ready, we’ll go,’ he told Philippa, ‘I’ll send someone down to collect your stuff later.’

She had no option but to follow him outside, Simon bounding ahead of them, admiring the sleek lines of the car from every angle and then bombarding Scott with questions about its performance once they were installed inside. For once Philippa was glad of her son’s excited chatter. It kept Scott’s attention away from herself, and only she knew of the inner tightening of her nerves as Garston Hall approached, its chimneys visible over its protective circle of trees and then the front façade itself.

It hadn’t changed, the same grey weathered stone still standing foursquare, the diamond leaded windows staring out towards the hills. Two wings protruded from the main block of the house, and Philippa remembered that these had been closed off when she had visited the Hall before. Now the windows sparkled and curtains flapped gently in the breeze. She half turned to Scott, about to voice her surprise, but he forestalled her saying coolly, ‘One of the benefits of owning your own company—and a profitable one at that. I’ve been able to re-open both wings. One of them now houses the head office of the company, the other is used for any business associates I might have visiting me, and there’s also a leisure complex there for the use of both staff and guests. The main block I have retained for my own use.’

‘You live there alone?’ What on earth had prompted her to blurt that out?

‘Why? Thinking you might take up where you left off?’ His eyes slid to Simon, who was listening to their conversation although his face was averted. ‘Not completely. My mother lives with me and her companion, as to the rest…’ his mouth curved in a humourless smile, ‘sometimes I live alone and sometimes I don’t, does that answer your question?’

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