Sue MacKay - The Gift of a Child

He stamped on the flare of sympathy that drawn face caused, and parked his backside back on his chair. Stretching his legs under the desk, he started at the beginning. ‘You arrived today and already you’re knocking on my door? Do you need a job? Because I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’m overstaffed as it is.’

‘No, I don’t need a job.’ She swallowed. ‘Actually, I will do at some point but that’s not why I’m here.’

There was a relief. But the tension gripping his muscles didn’t relax at all. ‘So this is a social call?’

Another swallow. Then her tongue moistened her lips. And that fear in her eyes grew. ‘No,’ she croaked.

Mitch studied her carefully as a sense of falling over the edge of a cliff began expanding deep inside him. Jodi hadn’t spoken more than two sentences to him—and, yes, he remembered what they’d been, word for word—from the day she’d put his packed bags on the front doorstep of the flat they’d shared and said goodbye. Even his explanations about helping seriously injured people hadn’t softened her stance. Neither had telling her he needed just another year of putting in long hours and then he’d be set for life, would have the career he wanted and a whole lot more time for her. In the end he’d swallowed the hurt, sucked up his pride, and got on with his life. Like he did with most things. Except his brother.

But Jodi’s departure from his life had hurt far more than he could’ve ever imagined. What had started out as fun had turned into something deeper but, being him, he’d realised that far too late. After he’d lost her. So really she’d done him a favour, saved him from himself. It had been his only foray into something resembling a proper relationship and he’d sucked at it. As he’d known he would. But he’d have liked the opportunity to rectify his mistakes.

But Jodi Hawke didn’t do second chances.

Besides, he knew all about the fickleness of relationships. All relationships, not just the boyfriend/girlfriend ones. Hell, Jodi was just one in a line of people who’d hurt him by disappearing out of his life. Which was why he did the moving on, usually quite quickly. Easier to protect himself that way. But he’d been in love with Jodi—as close to being in love as he’d ever been before or since—and had hung around too long, thinking it might work out. That she might be the one to see past his disillusionment. Of course he hadn’t done anything to try to keep her.

The break-up had been behind his speedy move up to Auckland. He couldn’t stand the thought of bumping into her at any corner within the hospital, in any bar or nightclub in town. Shifting cities had turned into a wise career move that had helped him clear his horrendous student loan and buy himself a modest house. And he’d shown his brother he was also capable of having an outstanding career.

Damn it. Jodi did this to him in a matter of minutes. Brought back the heartache, the guilt and doubts.

Someone knocked on the door and Jodi shot across the room looking completely flustered. Mitch shook his head at her. What the hell was wrong? This timidity was so not Jodi. Something terrible must’ve happened to her in the intervening years. His heart rolled. He might be wary about seeing her again, but if anyone had hurt her they’d better watch out, be prepared to answer to him.

‘Hey, Mitch—oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you had company. I’ll catch you some other time.’ Aaron might be talking to him but his eyes were fixed on Jodi.

Mitch shook his head again, and focused on the guy who ran the night shift in ED. ‘Is everything all right in the department?’ Hopefully it was ripping busy and he could get out of here, go to work and forget his unwanted visitor. Problem or no problem.

Aaron waved a hand through the air. ‘All good, no worries. I was going to read over the terms of the TV company’s visit next week, nothing important.’

How was that for an understatement? None of his staff, including Aaron, were happy about the documentary a national television company was making about life in a busy emergency department, and it fell to him to make it work, even when he agreed with his staff. Visitors in the unit, especially ones the board forced on them, were a pain in the butt, getting in the way, asking crazy questions, upsetting staff and patients. ‘I’ll catch up with you tomorrow sometime.’

‘Sure.’ Aaron took one more appraising look at Jodi before glancing at his watch. ‘You should’ve clocked off hours ago, Mitch. We don’t need you hanging around taking up space.’

Mitch grimaced. Thanks, pal. Go ahead and make Jodi welcome while you’re at it, why don’t you? ‘I’ve got other things to attend to first.’

Aaron raised his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, sure. Weren’t you going to Samantha’s party?’

The party. That’s what had been niggling at his half-baked brain about the time he’d seen Jodi slumped against his door. ‘I’ll be on my way in a moment.’

‘You won’t have missed much. Sam’s parties don’t usually crank up until near midnight.’ Aaron glanced at Jodi, back to him, fixing him with a not-your-usual-type look before slipping out of the office and closing the door noisily.

Closing Jodi in with Mitch. Again. He sucked air, steadied that shaky feeling in his stomach and tried for normal. ‘Want to tell me why you’re here? Because, as you heard, I am busy. I’m meant to be somewhere else.’

She didn’t even say, ‘When aren’t you?’ Which he admitted she had every right to do, that having been the crux of their break-up way back then. Instead, she surprised him. ‘Mitch, can we go somewhere to talk?’ Her gaze clashed with his and she didn’t back off. Something resembling the strength he’d always associated with her slipped into her gaze, pushing that fear sideways. ‘Somewhere quiet where no one will interrupt us.’

There was a warning in her voice that gave him the impression that something terrible was coming. Yet for the life of him he couldn’t imagine what. Whatever it was obviously wouldn’t wait. Which made him want to stall her for as long as possible. He didn’t want to hear her out. Opening his mouth to say no, he said, ‘Just give me a minute while I grab some coffees and tell the night staff to leave us alone. We’ll be undisturbed in here. I see no need to leave the hospital.’ Except those gathering clouds in her eyes.

‘I think you’d prefer to hear what I have to say somewhere else, neutral territory if you like.’ Her bottom lip trembled. ‘With no one you know likely to burst in on us.’

‘As you heard, I’m going out tonight.’ He nodded at his overnight bag against the far wall. ‘I need to shower and change so I’d prefer to get this over right here. Whatever this is.’ Why did he feel such a heel? Could it be the pain darkening those toffee-coloured orbs? Did he have some lingering feelings for her? No, definitely not. Crazy idea. But he should cut her some slack, at least until he’d heard her out. They’d lived together for six months so he owed her that much. ‘So, do you want coffee?’

‘No, thanks. Nothing.’ She dropped onto the spare chair. The fingers she interlaced were white. She looked so tiny, all shrunk in on herself, and when she lifted her head to face him he gasped.

‘Jodi?’ Her eyes stood out like snooker balls against her colourless cheeks. Was she ill? Please, not that. Anything but that. His heart lurched and he had to fight the urge to wrap her up in his arms. Shelter her from whatever was troubling her so much. ‘What’s wrong?’

She swallowed, opened her mouth, and whispered, ‘We have a son. You have a son.’

Wrong, wrong, wrong. That was not how she had meant to inform him. What had happened to easing into telling him about Jamie? She’d been going to explain the situation carefully, one thing at a time, not hit him over the head with a baseball bat. Now he’d never hear her through. The arguments were already building in his eyes.