Lois Richer - The Holiday Nanny

Wade shook his head.

“Can I ask why?”

“Why?” A wry half smile tilted his mouth. “I was very successful in Brazil. Profits were pouring in. I’d landed a whole new contract, bigger and better in Argentina. No way did the board want me at home.”

The board or Amanda? Connie mulled over his words, her brain assembling the pieces.

“I was ordered back.”

“So you left Silver here because you were worried about her safety,” she surmised, waiting for his nod. “What about Bella’s relatives?”

“Bella came from a very poor family. She had two sisters, but they were struggling with their own lives. They didn’t want a niece to add to their baggage.”

“It’s sad they’ve missed out on so much,” she murmured.

“Knowing Silver is something to be cherished.”

He looked at her, relief dawning. “Yes.”

Connie waited and waited, but Wade said no more. He finished his drink and pushed the mug away. She was going to have to press for more details.

“But why would any of that make you think you aren’t Silver’s father?”

Wade said nothing at first. After a moment, he walked around the breakfast bar and pulled a snapshot of Silver off the fridge. He held it up next to his face.

“Notice any similarity?”

Connie glanced from him to the picture and back. Finally, she shook her head. Wade reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He removed a small square and set it on the granite countertop.

Connie sucked in her breath, stunned by the beauty of the woman smiling at the camera.

“Bella. She was very beautiful.”

Wade didn’t speak. He simply set Bella’s picture next to Silver’s. The truth hit Connie like a sledgehammer.

“Bella’s boyfriend?” she whispered. “The one who died?”

“Bingo. Blond hair, blue eyes.” Wade’s face didn’t alter as he returned the photos to their respective places. Then he sat again. “Now you understand.”

“I don’t really,” Connie murmured, unable to absorb the implications of his words. “There are such things as recessive genes.”

“As far as I know, there has never been a blond in my family. I’m sure the same is true for Bella’s.”

“But your name is on the birth certificate, isn’t it?”

He nodded.

“Then you’re Silver’s parent. Who could dispute that?”

“A word on a piece of paper doesn’t make a lie true.”

Connie opened her mouth, but the words she’d been about to utter got stuck when she saw Wade’s face. Stark pain bled from his expressive eyes.

“I can pretend I’m her father, but that doesn’t make it so.”

“Pretend?” She leaned forward to peer into his face.

“Are you only pretending?”

“No! But—” he shrugged his shoulders, sighed. “Don’t you see my problem?”

“No, not really,” she admitted. “You have been the custodial parent of record for her entire life. Silver is healthy, happy and settled in the home that you’ve provided for her. Contesting that would be difficult.”

Wade blinked. “How do you come to know so much about parental rights, Connie?”

“Hang around long enough in the foster care system and you become very familiar with all the legal mumbo jumbo.” She tossed him a smile but refocused on Silver’s picture.

“Have you spoken with David about your worries?”

“I haven’t spoken with anyone—until now.”

“You have to talk to David. He’s a lawyer. He can make sure that no one can question your rights.” Something about Wade’s face made Connie stop.

“Maybe Silver would be better off with her real family,” he murmured.

“You are her ‘real’ family. She’s never known anyone else. Would you actually sit back and let Silver go?” She couldn’t believe it. She’d seen Wade’s face after he snuck into the little girl’s room each night. He loved Silver. “I can’t believe you care about her so little.”

He hunkered forward, his glare intense.

“It’s because I care about her so much that I came back. I bought up shares of the company while I was away. Amanda won’t be able to force my hand anymore.” His fingers fisted. “But what if Bella’s ‘friend’ had family who would love and protect Silver far better than I’m able to? What if she has half brothers and sisters who would fill her life with love and joy? What if—”

“I can’t listen to this.” Connie jumped up from her stool. She flung the mugs into the dishwasher and snapped the door closed while struggling to contain her temper. It didn’t work. “How dare you?” she sputtered.

“Uh—” Wade’s jaw dropped at her ferocity.

“How dare you refuse the wonderful gift God has given you? How dare you even imagine that God would allow you such a precious child without giving you whatever is needed to raise her?” Connie glared at him. “Your biggest problem isn’t your father’s or Danny’s or Bella’s deaths, Wade. Your biggest problem is you are afraid to give a wonderful little girl who asks nothing of you the one thing she craves. You’re a chicken. You can hardly wait to dump Silver on somebody else so you can hightail it back to South America and continue your isolation.”

“Now just a minute—”

“Isn’t it true?”

“No!” He was standing now, too, his face furious. “I’m trying to do what’s right for her.”

“Like you were trying to do what was right for the last nanny when you had David fire her?” Connie shook her head. “You’ll do almost anything to avoid commitment, won’t you? You’re like some of the parents who let their kids grow up at my foster parents’ home because they were too selfish to expand their lives to include everything that goes along with having a child in their world.”

“Parents like your father, you mean?” Wade snapped.

Connie ignored the bite of pain and nodded.

“Exactly like him. Tonight I spoke to a man who knew my father. Do you know what he told me?”

“I have a feeling you’ll explain.”

She ignored the snarly tone of his voice, because she knew he was hurting.

“Eleven years ago my father found out he had cancer. He dumped me because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to take care of me. He had some weird notion that it would be better for me to be taken in by strangers than to spend our last days together.”

“Maybe that was the right decision,” Wade murmured frowning.

“It wasn’t!” Connie had to make him understand. “If I’d known my father might be dying, I could have been there, had time to say the things in my heart and told him I loved him. Instead, I’ve spent every night of the past eleven years praying he survived and dreaming of a second chance to spend just one hour with a man who dumped me because it was easier. I’ve wasted years wondering where he was, why he didn’t come for me, if I wasn’t lovable, if I’m always going to be left behind when it comes to the kind of true love that the Bible talks about. The kind that hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Self-doubts and a boatload of questions—that’s the legacy my father’s ‘right’ decision left me, Wade.”

The tears came then, waves of pure sorrow drawn from the well of her pain. And there wasn’t a thing Connie could do to stop her heaving sobs.

A terrible silence yawned. Then a moment later, Wade’s arms enfolded her.

“I’m sorry, Connie. I’m truly sorry.”

After a few blissful moments, she pulled away, furious that she’d done the one thing she’d vowed would never happen with Wade Abbot. She’d allowed herself to act like the previous nanny whom he’d sent away. Now he would be really worried that she was after him.

“I didn’t mean—”