Kate Hewitt - The Marakaios Baby

He sat back down in his chair, raking his hands through his hair. With his head lowered she could see the strangely vulnerable nape of his neck, the momentary slump of his shoulders, and everything in her ached.

‘I’m sorry, Leo, for springing this on you,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ve thought long and hard over these last few months about what is best for our baby, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s to live in a stable home with two parents.’

It hadn’t been an easy decision to make, but Margo’s own sorry history made her wary of going it alone as her mother had. Just like her, her mother had had no friends, no family, no safety net. And she’d lost everything.

Margo would not subject her child to the same risk.

He lifted his head, his eyes flashing although the set of his mouth was grim, bleak. ‘Even two parents who don’t love each other? Who have absolutely no reason whatsoever to respect or trust each other?’

She flinched slightly. ‘I respect you, Leo.’

‘You’ve had a funny way of showing it, then.’

She should tell him, Margo knew, that she’d made up the other man. Any hope of a marriage that was amicable at least was impossible with that perceived betrayal between them. But she was afraid Leo wouldn’t believe her if she told him now, and even if he did believe her he would want to know why she had told such an outrageous and damaging lie. The answer to that question was to admit her own fear, and that was something she was not ready to do.

‘I know you don’t respect me ,’ she said.

She clenched her hands in her lap and fought another wave of nausea. The sickness had eased a bit in the last few weeks, but she still felt as if she had to drag herself through each day.

‘I know you don’t trust me. I hope that maybe, in time, I can win back both your respect and your trust. But this marriage would be for the sake of our child, Leo. To give our baby the opportunity of a stable home. And even if we don’t love each other we’ll both love this child.’

‘So you’re willing to enter a cold, loveless union, all for the sake of a baby you professed to not even want?’

Another deep breath and she met his gaze without a flinch. ‘Yes.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Why would I be here, then?’ she asked quietly.

‘You want something. Are you in trouble? Did this other man throw you over? Do you need money?’

‘I told you before, I’m not asking for a hand-out.’

‘You also said,’ Leo reminded her ruthlessly, ‘that having this baby would be a struggle financially.’

‘A struggle, yes, but not impossible. I could do it. I’ve thought about doing it,’ she continued, determined to make him believe her, even if he didn’t— couldn’t —understand her motives. ‘I thought very hard about raising this child on my own and not even telling you I was pregnant.’

‘And yet you now want me to trust you?’

‘I didn’t choose to do that, Leo,’ Margo said, her voice rising. She strove to level it; giving in to temper now would not help her cause. ‘I knew that you needed to know, and that our child needed more. Two parents. Stability, safety—’

‘You don’t think you could give this child those things on your own?’

‘No. Not for certain. I don’t...I don’t have a lot of friends, and no family. This baby needs more than just me. He or she needs a father.’

‘If I am the father.’

‘Please...’

She closed her eyes, waves of both nausea and fatigue crashing over here. Coming all this way, dealing with the plane and the rental car and the endless travel, had completely exhausted her.

She summoned what little strength she had left and made herself continue. ‘Let’s not argue. I want to marry you for the sake of our child. I’m not expecting you to love me or even like me after—after what I did, but I do hope we might act amicably towards each other for the sake of the baby. As for...’ She dropped her gaze, unable to look him in the eye. ‘As for the usual benefits of a marriage...I’d understand if you chose to look elsewhere.’

Leo was silent and Margo risked a look up, wondering if he’d taken her meaning.

‘Am I to understand,’ he asked, his voice toneless, ‘that you are giving me permission to violate my marriage vows?’

‘It would be a marriage of convenience—’

‘But still a marriage.’

‘I’m trying to make this more amenable to you—’

‘To sweeten the deal?’ He cut across her, his voice hard. ‘It still tastes rancid to me.’

‘Please, Leo...’ She swallowed, hating the fact that she had to beg.

Maybe he was right. Perhaps she should go back to Paris, raise the baby on her own. Leo could be the sort of weekend father he claimed he didn’t want to be. Plenty of couples did it—why not them?

Because she was afraid of going it alone. Because she wanted more for her child. So much more than she’d had.

‘You ask so nicely ,’ Leo said, his eyes glittering now.

He was furious with her, even after so many months apart. She wondered if his anger could ever be appeased. Perhaps if she told him the truth...if only he would believe it.

‘I’m willing to live in Greece,’ she continued, deciding she might as well say it all.

‘Even in the “middle of nowhere”?’

‘I’d leave my job at Achat. I’d want to stay home with the baby for the first few years, at least.’

‘I thought the whole “housewife routine” bored you to death?’

Once again he was throwing her words back in her face, and she couldn’t blame him. ‘It’s different now.’

‘So you’re saying you want those things? That life?’

He sounded incredulous—contemptuous, even—and bile surged in her stomach again. She swallowed past the metallic taste in her mouth. ‘I’m saying that I am willing,’ she answered. ‘It’s a sacrifice I’m prepared to make.’

‘So I’d be marrying a martyr? What an appealing thought.’

‘You’d be making a sacrifice too,’ Margo replied. ‘I understand that.’

‘I still don’t understand you,’ Leo answered.

‘Why is it so hard to believe I’d be willing to do this?’ Margo demanded. She could take only so much of his sneering disbelief. ‘Most women would.’

‘And yet,’ Leo reminded her softly, ‘you aren’t “most women”.’

She closed her eyes, felt herself sway.

She heard Leo’s sharply indrawn breath. ‘Margo, are you all right?’

His voice was rough, although with impatience or anxiety she couldn’t tell.

She forced her eyes open.

‘I’m just very tired, and still quite nauseous,’ she said levelly. ‘Obviously you need time to think about my—my proposal.’ Not the word she’d wished to use, and Leo’s mouth twisted cynically when she said it. There had been too many proposals already. ‘If you could let me know when you’ve decided...’

‘Are you actually intending to return to France?’ Leo asked sharply. ‘You’re in no condition to travel.’

‘I’ll spend the night at a local hotel,’ she answered, ‘and fly out of Athens tomorrow.’

‘No.’ Leo’s gaze was cold and implacable as he gave his order. ‘You’ll stay here. I’ll give you my answer tomorrow.’

Which made her feel like Scheherazade, wondering if she was to be beheaded in the morning. Not the way she would have wanted to think about her marriage, but she’d reconciled herself, or thought she had, to what life with Leo would be like. She’d told herself it was worth it, that anything was worth it if she could give her baby a stable, loving home.

Even if you and Leo will never love each other?