Brenda Jackson - Duty Or Desire

He nodded. “This is different.” He met Zane’s intense gaze for a long moment and only someone who knew him as well as Zane did would feel the depth of his turmoil.

“Ellen would want you to move on with your life, Pete.”

If another person told him that, Pete would be tempted to ram his fist into the nearest wall. “You don’t know that.”

“I do know it and I’m wondering why in the hell you don’t. Have you forgotten that Ellen used to be one of Megan’s best friends? She hung around our place just as often as you did. She was a wonderful girl who didn’t have a selfish bone in her body. There’s no way she wouldn’t want you to move on with your life. I think the problem is one you’re bringing on yourself.”

Zane took another sip of his beer and then added, “Apparently Myra Hollister is capable of making you want to move on and—”

“Hey, wait a minute. Things aren’t that serious. We’re talking about an attraction and nothing more.”

Zane shook his head. “But there is more, Pete. Attraction and desire aren’t the same. A man doesn’t desire every woman he’s attracted to.”

When Pete didn’t say anything, Zane said, “If you’re trying to stop desiring her, don’t bother.”

“Why?”

“Because you can’t get rid of something you won’t acknowledge having. You have a thing for the woman, so admit it. You desire her, too, so admit that, as well. And if you don’t want either, then don’t hire her as your nanny because the more you’re around her, the more you’re going to desire her.”

Pete met Zane’s gaze. “Too late. I have hired her.” He paused a moment and then said, “I don’t want chaos in my life, Zane.”

Zane drew in a deep breath. “Any chaos will be of your own making. Desiring a woman is a healthy part of being a man, Pete. If you want to waste those emotions, go ahead. Doing so won’t eliminate this problem you have but will only increase it. If she stays here and you try to fight your desire, then eventually you’re going to snap.”

Pete frowned. “I’m a lawman—I don’t snap.”

“You’re a man first and you will snap.” Zane stood. “I’m going to give you the same advice I gave myself a few years ago.”

“What?”

“Stop trying to fight emotions you’re supposed to be feeling. Sooner or later you’re going to have to accept there’s a reason Myra Hollister has the ability to make you feel things that other women can’t.”

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