Kate Hewitt - Bad Blood

‘If you’d been playing “nice guy” you might have thought that what we shared last night was at least deserving of a morning-after smile. You’re making me feel horrid about myself.’

His eyes shone with incredulity. ‘How?’

‘Do you really have to ask? Are you really that insensitive?’ Katie wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she’d taken the time to put on make-up and do her hair before facing him. No woman with any sense would choose the ‘natural’ look around Nathaniel Wolfe. ‘We spent the night together and now you’re doing everything you can to get away from me.’ She felt really foolish for believing even for a moment that they’d shared something special. ‘I understand that what happened yesterday was awful for you. I understand it brought everything back and maybe what we did was heat-of-the-moment stuff. If you regret last night, just say so. But don’t act like nothing happened.’

‘Sit down, Katie.’

‘Why? So that you can make me feel even more insignificant than you have already? I don’t think so. You’re an incredible actor, Nathaniel, but I’m not interested in the actor and you don’t want to be the man.’ Totally squashed, utterly humiliated, she stalked off the terrace, throwing words over her shoulder. ‘Go to Rio. Go to hell. I really don’t care. Just don’t follow me.’

What the hell did she want from him?

His hand shaking, Nathaniel finished his coffee and ordered another one. It had taken all his willpower to leave the bed before she woke. In the end, what had driven him had been the fact that he’d wanted to stay there, wrapped around Katie for ever. And the terror had acted as a jet-propelled engine.

For ever?

He wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm. Those were words he just didn’t use.

Utterly spooked by his feelings, he hadn’t even trusted himself to look at her when she’d walked onto the terrace. He’d hoped for baggy brown clothes but she’d chosen bright yellow, the colour of sunshine and happiness.

Not that it had taken him long to kill that happiness, he thought bitterly.

Right now she was probably changing back into brown.

Ben brought the coffee to the table, his usually friendly smile absent. ‘I just saw Miss Katie running towards the beach.’ He thumped the pot down on the table and some of it sloshed over the side. ‘Looked like she was crying.’

Nathaniel looked at the puddle of spilled coffee. ‘She just needs space.’

‘Not all folks need space when they’re upset. Miss Katie is the sort who would prefer someone to talk to.’

Meeting Ben’s accusatory look, Nathaniel felt fingers of ice trail down his spine. She wanted to talk about feelings and there was no way he wanted to even think about his feelings, let alone talk about them.

‘You’ve known her five minutes—’

‘Some people you get to know in five minutes because they’re open and friendly. Others …’ Ben’s gaze didn’t shift. ‘Others keep themselves locked away.’

Locked away sounded good to him . ‘Everyone is different.’

‘She’s trying to help you. In all my years I never met a kinder, warmer person than Miss Katie.’

‘I don’t need anyone’s help.’

‘Depends where you’re standing.’ Ben picked up Katie’s abandoned cup. ‘I’ll clear up this mess.’ The message was clear. Nathaniel was supposed to clear up the other mess. The one he’d made.

Cursing himself for allowing his guard to drop, Nathaniel abandoned the coffee and strode along the little path that wound through the tropical gardens down to the beach.

One conversation , he promised himself. One .

He found her on the perfect curve of soft sand that was Turtle Cove, her yellow sundress blending with the sand, her dark hair tumbling down her back.

Remembering the way she’d looked when she’d first arrived on the island, Nathaniel felt something twist inside him. She’d lost her dull, brown feathers and now she reminded him of an exotic bird. And last night—

‘Katie …’

She didn’t turn but her shoulders grew a little stiffer. ‘I want to be by myself.’

Nathaniel would have loved to have taken that claim at face value but Ben’s voice was still ringing in his ears, and on top of that his conscience, which rarely even got out of bed in the morning, was now working overtime.

‘Look—’ his tone was impatient ‘—you have to understand that this isn’t easy for me. I don’t do relationships, not the sort you dream about anyway. I have short term, mutually convenient affairs with women who don’t want any more connection than I do. You’re different. For God’s sake, Katie—’ he dragged his hand through his hair ‘—you’d never even been with a man before.’

‘I don’t want to talk about this.’

He felt a flash of exasperation. ‘Why not? You want to talk about everything else. I know you’re upset because I didn’t stay in bed this morning—’

‘I’m upset because last night I saw the real Nathaniel, and now you’ve turned back into the movie star. I don’t know you like this.’

And that was the idea, wasn’t it?

Staring at the back of her head, Nathaniel felt as though there was a battle going on in his brain. ‘I’m not good at being the “real Nathaniel,”’ he ground out. ‘I’m not good at letting people know me.’

‘You prefer to hide behind the actor.’

‘Yes.’ The admission was easier than he’d thought it would be. ‘It’s what I’ve always done.’

She turned then and he saw the wetness on her cheeks. Guilt lanced through him, sharp as a blade. Usually when women used tears they left him unaffected. Seeing Katie’s reddened eyes made his insides clench with panic.

‘Don’t cry,’ he breathed. ‘Don’t do that ….’

‘Answer me something honestly.’ Her voice was croaky. ‘Is it Carrie? I know you said you weren’t having an affair with her, but—’

‘It isn’t Carrie.’ Just saying the name made him want to turn and run, but he fought it. He knew he ought to tell her the truth about Carrie, but he’d carried the secret for too long to part with it easily. ‘It’s nothing to do with Carrie. It’s me. This is who I am.’

She was silent and that silence was another tug on his conscience. Nathaniel scanned her face. ‘Say something. Yell at me. Tell me what I should be feeling, doing …’ He looked at her desperately. ‘It’s not like you to be silent.’

‘You don’t like it when I talk.’

‘I do.’ It came as a surprise to realise it was true. ‘Yesterday when we were on that boat, and you were saying everything that came into your head—’

‘I drove you nuts.’

‘No, I enjoyed it. A lot. I really like the way you say what you’re thinking.’

‘You never say what you’re thinking.’ Her gaze was steady. ‘And I find it impossible to tell what’s real. With you, it’s all too easy to get it wrong because you’re so good at what you do.’

He tried to find a way to tell her that the whole idea of ‘real’ scared the hell out of him. ‘Last night was real, Katie.’

‘No, it wasn’t. We had sex. I played the part of a gullible female and you played the part of the macho, virile caveman.’

‘Are you saying I hurt you?’ It was something that had worried him and he saw her cheeks redden.

‘You didn’t hurt me. Not last night.’

He’d hurt her this morning, with careless words and his own inability to let his guard down. Burying those thoughts, Nathaniel pulled her to her feet.

When she tried to resist him he tightened his hold and found her mouth with his.

‘Go away.’ She turned her head. ‘You regret last night.’