Margaret Way - Six Australian Heroes

Again, she was tempted to agree. But the bottom line was that he still only wanted her for sex with some company thrown in. There would be no proposal of marriage at any stage.

She said the only thing that she knew would stop him in his tracks. ‘If I become your girlfriend for real, Ryan, I’m sure to fall in love with you.’

Ryan could not believe the crazy thoughts which ran through his head—mostly that he didn’t care any more if she fell in love with him as long as she let him spend more time with her.

God, how selfish could he get?

Ryan rolled away from her, staring grimly up at the ceiling and wondering what the hell he should do. He didn’t like it that he was becoming possessive of her. It worried him.

Laura could not believe how forlorn she felt when he abandoned her body. Forlorn and alone. He was lying right beside her yet he seemed such a long way away. She hated that feeling.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said suddenly, not really knowing what she was apologising for.

He turned his head to look at her. ‘For what? Being honest? I like honest people. And I like you—very much so.’

‘I … I like you too,’ she said, choking on the words as she realised what an understatement they were. Because, of course, she didn’t just like him any more. She loved the man. It wasn’t the thought of no more sex with him that terrified the life out of her but of never seeing him again.

It was a shattering realisation. Laura quickly turned her head away lest her face betray the truth.

‘I doubt you’d fall in love with me, Laura,’ he said at that most ironic moment. ‘By the way, what did you tell your boss about why you couldn’t be my lawyer any more?’

Laura cleared her throat. ‘I … er … haven’t told him yet.’

‘Then don’t.’

Her head whipped round to stare at him. ‘But why?’

‘I don’t want another lawyer. I want you.’

‘What about your rule about sleeping with work colleagues?’

He shrugged. ‘Rules are meant to be broken.’

His nonchalance infuriated her, especially after all the fuss he’d made. ‘You can break your rule,’ she snapped, ‘But I have no intention of breaking mine. You’re my client now and I do not have relationships with clients.’

He speared her with cold blue eyes. ‘But you don’t have a relationship with me, Laura. You’re just having sex with me. Which reminds me, I take it you don’t want to call it quits tonight either, do you? You want me to come back tomorrow night as well.’

Laura’s teeth clamped down hard. He was deliberately trying to goad her. But she refused to be goaded. ‘I guess that’s up to you, Ryan. I can’t force you to come.’

‘But you want me to.’

She lifted her chin in a defiant manner. ‘Yes,’ she bit out.

‘In that case, I’ll be here tomorrow night. But after that I suggest we have a week’s break from each other. That should stop us growing too attached.’

She wanted to hate him at that moment.

‘What about our appointment on Friday afternoon?’ she asked waspishly.

‘The contracts can wait another week. Things are a bit slow at the moment. Now, I really must go to the bathroom. Meanwhile, I suggest you go get that bottle of white wine that I saw in your fridge door last night. I could do with a drink.’

‘I was going to have that later with dinner,’ she threw after him.

‘Good God,’ he said mockingly as he strode from the room. ‘She’s going to feed me as well. What a lucky fellow I am.’

Now she did hate him.

But not as much as Ryan hated himself. He scowled at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. What right did he have to say nasty things like that?

If you don’t like the ‘strictly sex’ arrangement Laura wants, then you should just keep on walking, right out of her life.

So why didn’t he?

Be honest, you hypocritical bastard. It’s just your pride lashing out. You really want to stay.

By the time Ryan finished washing his hands, he’d resolved to stop being stupid and just give Laura plenty of what she wanted. But he wanted to make love to her; that was the truth of it.

Ryan shook his head at himself in the mirror. It was as well that he’d suggested they have a break from each other; he was becoming way too involved. He also revised his idea about keeping her on as his lawyer. But he wouldn’t tell her that just yet. He’d tell her tomorrow night.

LAURA’S period didn’t arrive on Wednesday morning, or Wednesday afternoon, or Wednesday evening. When Thursday morning came and still no sign of a period, her stress levels soared. Suddenly, she was thankful that she and Ryan were not in contact for a week. No phone calls, or text messages; no emails. Nothing until the following Tuesday when he’d be dropping round after work around seven.

The last time she’d seen him he’d said they both needed time to think, which was certainly true. Because by then she was more in love with him than ever, so much so that she was reconsidering accepting his offer of being his girlfriend for real and to hell with the consequences. She’d almost said as much when he had gone to leave. She might have done so if he hadn’t opened his mouth to say he’d changed his mind about keeping her on as his lawyer.

‘Don’t worry about finding a replacement immediately,’ he’d added. ‘That can wait a while.’

It was a well-timed reminder that nothing had changed for Ryan. Any secret fantasies she’d been harbouring about his feelings for her having deepened went out of the window. So, yes, she definitely needed time to think about what she was going to do when she saw him the following Tuesday.

By Friday, Laura’s period still hadn’t made an appearance. It was a huge relief that she wasn’t in contact with Ryan, because he might have asked her about it. This way, she didn’t have to explain things. For Lord knew how he would react. He might think she’d lied to him and had somehow been trying to trap him with a pregnancy. As if she would!

But she could not deny that strangely, as soon as the thought entered Laura’s head that she might have somehow conceived Ryan’s child, by some perverse twist of fate, the idea of having his baby brought a zing to her heart. But the zing did not last, fading to a deep dismay when she realised it would definitely mean the end of any relationship with Ryan. Because he didn’t do love or marriage or, God forbid, fatherhood.

That night she actually prayed for her period to arrive. But her prayers were not answered, not for another few days. Perversely, she cried when it did arrive the following Tuesday morning—cried and cried and cried. She was so distressed that she rang work and said she would not be in. Several times that day, she picked up her phone to call Ryan and tell him she didn’t want him to come over that night. But each time she put the phone back down again. Love made one weak, she accepted despairingly. And there she’d been, thinking she was over being a victim to love.

Laura thought about what she would say to Ryan all afternoon, determined not to let him come inside. She even began to hope that he might not come at all. But he showed up, looking impossibly handsome in a suit and tie. Her resolve faltered when he smiled at her—Faltered even more when he said, ‘God, but I’ve missed you,’ then pulled her into his arms.

She didn’t object to his kiss, telling herself that this was her goodbye kiss. But, oh, inside she was already dissolving.

‘I’m sorry, Ryan,’ she said when he finally let her come up for air. ‘But you have to stop. I … I’ve got my period.’

‘Still?’

She looked into his eyes and saw surprise, not scepticism.