Margaret Way - Six Australian Heroes

Laura sighed. ‘They were greatly improved this weekend,’ she admitted. ‘But that was because of your influence. You had Gran eating out of your hand over lunch. What on earth did you say to her during that drive? She seemed much brighter than yesterday.’

‘I hardly said a word; she did most of the talking. Told me where to drive. I just followed orders. She showed me the village and the church, the one near the Hunter Valley gardens. By the way, she said to tell you that that was where she wanted her funeral service to be held.’

‘Oh, for pity’s sake!’

‘She wasn’t being maudlin, Laura. Just practical.’

‘But she won’t die now. Not for ages. What else did she say? She didn’t drop any hints about our getting engaged, did she?’

‘Not directly. Though she did point out that they use that church for a lot weddings as well.’

‘And what did you say to that?’

‘Nothing, that I recall.’

‘You must have said something to make her look so pleased with you.’

‘I did promise to come to her eightieth-birthday party in November.’

‘Oh no. Do you think that was a good idea?’

‘I don’t see why not.’

‘Well, I mean, we might not last that long.’ Laura’s conversation with Alison had made her determined not to get any silly female hopes up where Ryan was concerned.

His sharp sideways glance startled her. ‘My girlfriends usually last more than two months, Miss Cynical.’

Laura tried to remain looking cool but it was difficult when her heart had just turned over with a ridiculous burst of happiness. ‘You mean you want to make our relationship a public one?’

Now he looked quite annoyed. ‘Well, of course I do! What had you been envisaging? That I would keep you as some dirty little secret? Why on earth would I do that?’

Laura knew she couldn’t tell him the truth—that she’d been imagining just that. ‘I guess because I’m not the kind of gorgeous, glamorous female that you usually date,’ she said instead.

‘Good God, Laura, did you get a look at yourself last night? You are just as gorgeous and glamorous-looking as any of my previous girlfriends.’

‘But I don’t usually look like that on a day-to-day basis, as you well know.’

‘There’s no reason why you can’t. All you have to do is go shopping for some more new clothes and wear a bit of make-up occasionally.’

‘People at work will wonder what’s happened to me.’

‘So? Do you honestly care what they think?’

‘Yes, I do,’ she admitted. The end result of such a radical makeover was slowly sinking in. She didn’t want her colleagues laughing at her behind her back. She would look a complete fool if she went in there all glammed up and told them Ryan could no longer be her client because she was dating him. They all knew what he was like. The women there had often made caustic remarks about his being a serial ladykiller.

‘No, Ryan,’ she said firmly, surprising herself.

He slanted her a startled glance. ‘No what ?’

‘No, I don’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe and, no, I don’t want to be your girlfriend.’

The sudden silence inside the car was electric with unspoken tension. She saw his knuckles go white as he gripped the steering wheel; saw his shoulders rise.

‘You don’t mean that,’ he said at last, his tone one of sheer disbelief.

‘But I do.’

‘You don’t want to sleep with me any more?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

His head whipped round, shock written all over his face. Laura was pretty shocked herself—at herself, for voicing out loud what had suddenly entered her head. That it was he she wanted to keep as her dirty little secret, not the other way round.

When his car drifted dangerously close to the lane next to them—and the truck which was rumbling along at high speed—Ryan quickly returned his attention to his driving, swearing volubly as he righted the car, slowing down appreciably before he spoke again.

‘You can’t be seriously suggesting what I think you’re suggesting,’ he bit out, obviously not happy with being cast in the role of her secret lover.

Now that the initial shock of her suggestion had worn off, Laura found herself quite taken with the idea. How better to protect herself from future hurt and humiliation than by keeping their affair strictly sexual and, yes, totally secret? Not to mention brief. No one knew better than Laura that time and sustained intimacy—even that of a strictly sexual nature—would ultimately be her undoing. A week or two should be long enough to burn out a good degree of the lust that was still plaguing her, she decided. Long enough too to satisfy her curiosity over all those wildly erotic things Ryan claimed he could show her.

‘It would be the best solution all round,’ she said, feeling strangely exhilarated at having taken control of her destiny. ‘You’re a great lover, Ryan. Possibly the best I’ll ever have in my lifetime. Which is why I want to sample some more of your incredible talent in the bedroom.

‘But we both know you won’t ever give me what I really want—which is a husband and a family. Added to that is the fact that I’m not getting any younger. Frankly, becoming your girlfriend, even for a few months, is a waste of my valuable time.

‘The truth is I just want to have some more sex with you, but not for too long. A couple of weeks should do the trick. I appreciate my somewhat radical proposal might be a blow to your ego, but think of the plus side—you won’t have to take me out anywhere or buy me expensive dinners. You won’t have to meet my friends. All you have to do is—’

‘Don’t you dare use that word!’ Ryan broke in savagely.

Laura found his outrage extremely hypocritical, something which he said he despised. ‘I was only going to say shag ,’ she invented. She’d actually been going to say ‘make love to me’ in a momentary lack of concentration.

‘I hate that word too.’

‘Lord, but aren’t we the sensitive one all of a sudden? And this from a man who had no qualms pointing out to me that all he was good for was sex. What would you prefer to call it then? Bonk? Screw?’

‘I would prefer that you agreed to become my girlfriend for real!’ he snapped.

Laura’s back teeth clenched together hard in her jaw, as the temptation to say yes was almost overwhelming.

‘Sorry,’ she bit out. ‘No can do.’

‘Sorry?’ he retorted, throwing her a savage glance. ‘I don’t think you’re sorry at all.’

‘And I think you should keep your eyes on the road,’ she said when the car drifted once again.

He swore, using the four-letter word he hadn’t wanted her to say. He didn’t apologise, however. Instead, he fell silent and sped up, the car eating up the miles as only a powerful sports car could. Laura fell stubbornly silent too, determined not to weaken in her resolve to retain control of her life and this affair. They’d crossed the Hawkesbury River Bridge and were drawing near the outer suburbs of Sydney before Ryan spoke again.

‘Right,’ he said abruptly. ‘Now that I’ve calmed down, this is the way I see the situation. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that all I want from you is sex. I like you, Laura. Like your company and your conversation. I would enjoy taking you places and buying you expensive dinners. I would especially enjoy seeing you throw off that ridiculously tough façade you’ve been hiding behind and become the warm, beautiful, sexy, sophisticated woman which I know you could be.

‘As for my wasting your valuable time, I don’t believe any time you spend with me would be a waste. Life should not always be lived for the future, but sometimes for the here and now.’