Annie West - Royals Untamed!

She whirled round and marched back to the door of the flat and opened it, glad now she’d made him move away from it. At least this way he didn’t have control of the situation.

‘No,’ she said as an ice-cold sensation slid over her. ‘You’ve said what you needed to, now go.’

He stood in the doorway of the living room, sunlight flooding in behind him, and she glared at him, her breathing deep and hard, determined not to be distracted by him. For a moment he looked at her, his black eyes almost piercing into her soul, and she wondered if he could read the confusion within her.

‘You are wrong about the divorce,’ he said slowly and took a step towards her, but she held her ground and stood holding onto the door of the flat. ‘After what was revealed about you, divorce was the only option to be considered.’

‘Ah, yes, back to duty again. Correct me if I’m wrong, Kazim, but haven’t we already had this conversation?’

‘Yes, Amber, we have.’ He took another step closer and she swallowed hard. She had to remain calm. ‘And it is duty that has brought me back to you.’

Why couldn’t it have been love?

* * *

Kazim took another step towards her and reached for her hand, firmly but slowly peeling her fingers away from the door. He wasn’t going anywhere yet.

Her eyes widened in surprise and for a moment he thought he saw the same spark of desire he felt just from touching her mirrored in her eyes. She’d had that effect on him since the very first time they’d met but he’d been too proud to acknowledge it. Too determined to deny it.

‘What duty?’ Her voice was barely above a whisper as he shut the door quietly, his every move full of purpose. He looked down at her and the rush of desire he’d known the first night of their marriage resurfaced, but this time he didn’t want to push it harshly to one side. He wanted to face it, to explore it.

‘My duty as your husband.’ He took one more step towards her, bringing her so close he could have wrapped his arms around her at any moment. She smelt good and he breathed her scent in. ‘A duty I failed in.’

‘Did you?’ She looked up as she asked the question in a tremulous whisper.

He couldn’t help himself as he reached out and smoothed her hair back from her face. The sigh that escaped her lips spurred him on. She was not immune to him, despite the hard bravado she hid behind.

The attraction that had simmered between them from the very first moment their eyes had met was still there and much more intense. He could feel the tension emanating from her—she still desired him and it gave him the courage he needed to face the most difficult thing he’d ever done.

‘Yes.’ His voice sounded gravelly to his ears as he looked down at her. ‘I allowed the judgement of others to colour my views, allowed them to taint your name. I failed you.’

The grief he’d experienced after she’d left Barazbin rushed back at him. He hadn’t expected to feel such pain or to know that raw and mysterious emotion of abandonment and rejection, but he had. With her head held high she’d walked out of his palace and his life without a second glance. She’d turned the tables so completely that as soon as she’d gone he’d ridden out into the desert like a man possessed to shout his anger and his pain into the wind.

‘And now you believe me?’ Her eyes searched his face, hope shining from them, and that all too familiar band of tightness gripped his chest.

‘I do,’ he said as his fingers slid through her hair, the softness almost like silk. ‘Very quickly your father’s web of deceit unravelled, exposing your innocence. In fact he has confessed all. His misguided loyalty to you led him along the wrong path.’

‘And that’s it?’ She tried to step away from him but the wall was at her back. The gesture of moving away from him rang alarm bells in his head. This was not going according to plan. He believed her, he’d come to apologise. What more did she want from him?

‘What else do you want?’ Frustration made his question harsher than he’d intended.

‘It’s not enough, Kazim, not now, not ever.’ She caught hold of his hand, stilled the subconscious movement of his fingers through her hair. ‘I can never be what you want me to be.’

He dropped his hand to his side, another stab of rejection hurtling at him. She didn’t want him to touch her. The angry glare in her eyes, which had replaced that brief glimpse of hope, told him that. ‘So, tell me, what is it I want?’

‘A woman who will be at your side as you rule Barazbin, a woman who will produce the heir required, but, above all, one who is dutiful and has a completely untarnished reputation.’ She paused, as if waiting for him to deny those words. ‘I am not that woman, Kazim.’

He turned and walked back into the living room, needing the space, needing to distance himself momentarily from her. He pressed his hand over his eyes, his thumb and finger pressing at his temples, trying to ease the pain in his head.

Behind him, she remained silent and he knew he had to open up completely. If he wanted her, he had to do this; if not he was failing himself as well as her. His heart thumped hard against his ribcage. What if she threw it back at him? Now he knew how she had felt on their wedding night and again in the desert. She’d braved his rejection not once, but twice, and he couldn’t face hers once. What sort of coward did that make him?

Slowly he turned and that tightness crushed his chest harder. It was as if his love for her was squeezing the life out of him . Love . He’d finally used the word, in thought at least. But what would she do if he said it out loud? Coldly reject him, as he had rejected her? It would be all he deserved.

He turned and stalked across the room, overwhelmed by the smallness of it and the magnitude of what he’d just realised. He had to say it aloud, had to face the consequences of what he’d done. He crossed the small room again, wishing he could be still and tell her. Was this why his father had been a bully—to hide from himself?

* * *

Amber watched Kazim pace back and forth across the living room. Just for a moment she allowed hope to soar inside her as he looked down at her, the ebony depths of his eyes full of more than just passion and desire. She dared to hope, dared to believe he loved her. But then he marched away and her heart sank lower than it had ever gone.

‘I can’t ever go back, Kazim,’ she said, forcing her voice to be calm and neutral. ‘I am not the woman you need.’

‘No.’ He turned and focused his gaze on her. ‘You are more—much more.’

She drew in a breath that seemed to cut her throat and looked at him. The wild and untameable man she’d said her vows to was clearly on show, standing before her. The hungry look in his eyes made her stomach flip and her knees go weak.

She didn’t dare speak, but inside she was urging him on, desperate to know and yet certain she couldn’t ever know what he meant.

‘You are my wife, Amber.’ He didn’t move, as if doing so would stop the words. ‘And I love you.’

Inside her head she could hear her heart thumping more slowly and in her chest her breathing turned shallow—too shallow. She couldn’t move, couldn’t say a word, scarcely able to believe what she’d just heard.

He doesn’t mean it. How could he mean it after what he’d told her in the desert? It was just another way to charm her into doing what he wanted.

He strode towards her and all she could do was watch. He caught hold of her face in his large warm hands but still it all had a dreamlike feeling.

‘It’s too late,’ she whispered, almost trancelike.

‘Too late?’ He drew in a sharp breath as she spoke and looked at her, his eyes full of love and passion.