Alison Roberts - Midwives On-Call

SATURDAY.

Oliver did a morning ward round, walked into Ruby’s room—and found Em there.

According to his calculations—and he’d made a few—Em should be off duty. Why was she sitting by Ruby’s bedside?

She was darning … a sock?

Both women looked up as he walked in and both women smiled.

‘Hey,’ Ruby said. ‘Is it true? Were you two married?’

‘How …?’ Em gasped.

‘I just heard,’ Ruby said blithely. ‘It’s true, isn’t it?’

Em bundled up her needlework and rose—fast. ‘Yes,’ she managed. ‘But it was a long time ago. Sorry, Oliver, I’ll be out of your way.’

‘Why are you here?’ Damn, that had sounded accusatory and he hadn’t meant to be.

‘I’m off duty but Ruby’s teaching me how to darn.’

‘That’s … important?’

‘It is, as a matter of fact,’ she said, tossing him a look that might well be described as a glower. And also a warning to keep things light. ‘The whole world seems to toss socks away as soon as they get holes. Ruby and I are doing our bit to prevent landfill.’

‘Good for you.’ He still sounded stiff but he couldn’t help it. ‘Are you going home now?’

‘Yes.’

‘So why did you two split?’ Ruby was under orders for complete bed rest but she was recovering fast, the bed rest was more for her baby’s sake than for hers, and she was obviously aching for diversion.

‘Incompatibility,’ Em said, trying for lightness, stooping to give Ruby a swift kiss. ‘He used to pinch all the bedcovers. He’s a huncher—you know the type? He hunches all the covers round him and then rolls in his sleep. I even tried pinning the covers to my side of the bed but I was left with ripped covers and a doomed marriage. I’ll pop in tomorrow, Ruby, but meanwhile is there anything you need?’

‘More socks?’ Ruby said shyly, and Em grinned.

‘Ask Dr Evans. I’ll bet he has a drawer full. I need to go, Ruby, love. Byee.’

And she was gone.

It had been an informal visit. She’d been wearing jeans and a colourful shirt and her hair was down. She had so much to do at home—he knew she did.

Why was she here on a day off?

Because she cared?

She couldn’t stop caring. That had been one of the things he’d loved about her.

He still loved?

‘You’re still dotty about her,’ Ruby said, and he realised he’d been staring at the corridor where she’d disappeared.

‘Um … no. Just thinking I’ve never walked in on a darning lesson before. How’s bub?’

‘Still kicking.’

‘Not too hard?’

‘N-no.’ And once again he copped that zing of fear.

This was why Em had ‘popped in’, he thought. This kid was far too alone.

That was Em. She carried her heart on her sleeve.

If it was up to Em they would have adopted, he thought, and, despite the things he’d said to her after Josh had died, he was beginning to accept she was capable of it. It? Of loving a child who wasn’t her own. The way she’d held Gretta … The way she’d laughed at Toby … Okay, Em was as different from his adoptive mother as it was possible to be, and it had been cruel of him to suggest otherwise.

It had taken him a huge leap of faith to accept that he’d loved Em. Even though he’d supported her through IVF, even though he’d been overjoyed when she’d finally conceived, when Josh had died …

Had a small part of him been relieved? Had a part of him thought he could never extend his heart to all comers?

He would have loved Josh. He did. The morning when they’d sat looking down at the promise that had been their little son had been one of the worst of his life. But the pain that had gone with it … the pain of watching Em’s face …

And then for Em to say let’s adopt, let’s put ourselves up for this kind of pain again for a child he didn’t know …

‘Let’s check your tummy,’ he told Ruby, but she was still watching him.

‘You are still sweet on her.’

‘She’s an amazing woman. But as she said, I’m a huncher.’

‘Is it because you couldn’t have children?’

How …? ‘No!’

‘It’s just, one of the nurses told me Em’s got two foster-kids she looks after with her mum. If you and she were married, why didn’t you have your own?’

‘Ruby, I think you have quite enough to think about with your own baby, without worrying about other people’s,’ he said, mock sternly.

‘You’re saying butt out?’

‘And let me examine you. Yes.’

‘Yes, Doctor,’ she said, mock meekly, but she managed the beginnings of a cheeky grin. ‘But you can’t tell me to butt out completely. It seemed no one in this hospital knew you guys have been married. So now everyone in this hospital is really, really interested. Me, too.’

After that he was really ambivalent about the babysitting he’d promised. Actually, he’d been pretty ambivalent in the first place. Work was zooming to speed with an intensity that was staggering. He could easily ring and say he was needed at the hospital and it wouldn’t have been a lie.

But he’d promised, so he put his head down and worked and by a quarter to one he was pulling up outside the place Em called home.

Em was in the front yard, holding Toby on a push-along tricycle. When she saw him she swung Toby up into her arms and waved.

Toby hesitated a moment—and then waved, too.

The sight took him aback. He paused before getting out of the car. He knew Em was waiting for him, but he needed a pause to catch his breath.

This was the dream. They’d gone into their marriage expecting this—love, togetherness, family.

He’d walked away so that Em could still have it. The fact that she’d chosen to do it alone …

But she wasn’t alone. She had her mum. She had Mike next door and his brood. She had great friends at the hospital.

The only one missing from the picture was him, and the decision to walk away had been his.

If he’d stayed, though, they wouldn’t have had any of this. They’d be a professional couple, absorbed in their work and their social life.

How selfish was that? The certainties of five years ago were starting to seem just a little bit wobbly.

‘Hey, are you stuck to the seat?’ Em was carrying Toby towards him, laughing at him. She looked younger today, he thought. Maybe it was the idea that she was about to have some free time. An afternoon with her mum.

She was about to have some time off from kids who weren’t her own.

But they were her own. Toby had his arms wrapped around her, snuggling into her shoulder.

He had bare feet. Em was tickling his toes as she walked, making him giggle.

She loved these kids.

He’d thought … Okay, he’d thought he was being selfless, walking away five years ago. He’d been giving up his marriage so Em could have what she wanted. Now … Why was he now feeling the opposite? Completely, utterly selfish?

Get a grip, he told himself. He was here to work.

‘Your babysitter’s here, ma’am,’ he said, finally climbing from the car. ‘All present and correct.’

She was looking ruefully at the car. ‘Still the hire car? Can’t you get parts?’

‘They’re hard to come by.’ He’d spent hours on the internet tracking down the parts he needed.

‘Oh, Ollie …’

No one called him Ollie.

Em did.

She put her hand on his arm and he thought, She’s comforting me because of a wrecked car. And she’s coping with kids with wrecked lives …

How to make a rat feel an even bigger rat.

But her sympathy was real. Everything about her was real, he thought. Em … He’d loved this woman.

He loved this woman?