Alison Roberts - Midwives On-Call

It wasn’t an easy call but somehow she did her best not to scare Tom while still conveying the need for him to get there urgently because it was clear that Archie especially was struggling. That was confirmed when Alessi came over and spoke to Donna, his expression grim. ‘Donna, I am very concerned for Archie. I want to move him up to NICU where we can do some more tests on him and where there is more equipment …’

‘I want to hold him.’

‘I know you do,’ Alessi said, ‘but we are not at that stage—Archie is fighting and I will do everything I can to assist him in that. For now we’ll bring him over so you can have a little look at him. He’s very beautiful …’

The incubator was wheeled over. Archie looked like a little washed-up frog, but Alessi was right—he was a very beautiful baby. ‘Put your hand in,’ Alessi said, and Donna did, stroking his little cheek and then holding his fingers. ‘I’m going to take him up. I also want to see how his brother is doing. As soon as I can I’ll come and speak with you or I’ll send someone else if I am busy with them.’

‘Thank you. If something happens …’ Donna couldn’t say it but Alessi did.

‘If either of the twins takes a turn for the worse you will be told, Donna, and the staff here will do everything they can to get you to your babies. Right now, though, I need to get him to NICU.’

‘Mummy loves you,’ Donna said, and Isla felt her heart twist, and for once she was struggling to keep up her cool mask. She wanted to go over to Alessi, to tell him to just give Donna her baby, to accept the inevitable and give them this precious time.

It wasn’t her place to, though. Donna had made it clear before the twins’ birth that she wanted everything possible done for her sons. It was for Isla to support that decision now.

It was a long and difficult day. Isla went through the birth with Flick and all that had happened. Donna’s husband arrived and he went up to NICU. Though Donna ached to go and see her twins she had a small bleed after delivery and wasn’t well enough to go up till much later in the day.

Isla went with her.

First they saw Elijah, the tiny, though relatively bigger, twin. ‘It seems impossible …’ Donna said, and Isla just stood back and let her have the time with her son. She looked over to the next cot and Alessi was there and caught her eyes, his expression still grim.

When Isla took Donna over she knew why.

Donna completely broke down when she saw her little man hooked up to so many machines.

‘He’s not well enough to be held,’ Alessi said. ‘Just talk to him, he’ll know your voice.’

Alessi, Isla noted, looked exhausted. He was also incredibly patient and kind. For close to a year she had dismissed him as some sort of killer flirt and had avoided him at all costs.

Now there was no avoiding him.

On Friday, at the end of a long shift, at the end of a very long week, she walked into her office to find Alessi sitting there with Jessica, the twins’ older sister.

‘Excuse me.’ Alessi glanced up as she came in. ‘I was just speaking with Donna, and Jessica asked if she could have a word. I just came to the nearest room.’

‘That’s fine.’ Isla smiled. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

‘No, don’t go,’ Alessi said. ‘Jessica was just telling me that she’s too nervous to see the twins but that her mother thinks that she should.’

‘Do you want to see them?’ Isla asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Jessica admitted. ‘I’ve seen their photos and there are so many machines.’

‘NICU can be a scary place,’ Isla said. ‘Alessi is actually coming to speak to my Teenage Mums-To-Be group, in a few weeks’ time, to prepare them in case their babies have to go there. It can be a bit overwhelming but once you get past the machines you’ll see your brothers.’

‘That is what I was just telling Jessica,’ Alessi agreed. ‘They are very cute. Elijah is very much the big brother. Stoic and very strong, he doesn’t like to cry or make a fuss …’

‘And Archie?’ Jessica asked, and Isla heard the twist in the young girl’s voice.

‘He’s way too cute,’ Alessi said, and Isla smiled at the genuine warmth in his voice as he went on to tell Jessica about her youngest brother. ‘His eyes have just opened and he loves the sound of voices, he really does calm down when he hears someone say his name.’

‘I used to talk to him when Mum was pregnant,’ Jessica said.

‘Then he would know your voice.’ Alessi smiled but then looked over when Isla’s cool voice broke in.

‘Are you scared to love them, Jessica?’ she asked, and Alessi could only blink in surprise. Isla asked the tough questions and had clearly got straight to the difficult point because Jessica nodded and started crying. ‘I’m guessing you already do love them,’ Isla said.

‘They might die, though.’

‘I know,’ Isla said. ‘And I know that is so hard to even begin to deal with, but whatever is going to happen you can still have some time with them and let yourself be their big sister. Would you like me to come and spend some time with them with you?’

Clearly it was what Jessica did want because half an hour later, instead of collapsing on the sofa and being grateful that it was the start of Friday night and the end of a long week, Isla was up on NICU with Jessica.

There was no place she would rather be, though. Watching as Jessica’s fear was replaced by smiles, seeing little Archie’s eyes flicker and possibly, possibly a hint of a smile on his lips was time well spent indeed. They took photos and Jessica let her friends know all about her two brothers via social media.

‘I’m off.’ Alessi stood by the incubator. He had changed out of scrubs and was wearing black jeans and a gunmetal-grey top and he looked like the man who had made her heart flip over on sight all those months ago. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said to Isla.

‘There’s a big ball tomorrow night,’ Isla explained to Jessica. ‘Alessi’s getting an award.’

‘And I’ll see you on Monday,’ he said to little Archie. ‘In the meantime, behave.’ He nodded his head in the direction of the corridor and Isla excused herself from Jessica, who was holding her brother’s tiny hand. ‘It’s good she’s had some time with them.’

‘I know.’ Isla smiled. ‘It’s going to be tough on her. How do you think Archie—’

‘It’s minute by minute,’ Alessi interrupted, the inevitable answer because there were no guarantees in NICU and especially not with a baby who was so fragile and small. ‘Just take the good times, that’s all you can do sometimes. Are you off now?’

Isla paused before answering; she had a feeling, more than a feeling that they were on the edge of something. That if she said yes, then she’d be joining him for dinner tonight, or for drinks, or for …

Isla looked into his black eyes and there was an absence of fear. Yes, she knew, given his reputation, it could only ever be fleeting. She knew, too, that she couldn’t tell him her truth—he would surely run a mile—yet she knew she was ready.

For him.

Yet, while she wanted to say yes, some things came first. ‘I think I’m going to be here for as long as Jessica wants me to be.’

‘Fair enough.’ Alessi smiled. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’

‘You shall.’

‘Funny, but I’m actually looking forward to it now.’

She knew what he meant and her answer told him the same. ‘So am I.’

ISLA WASN’T FEELING quite so brave the next morning, though there was still a flutter of anticipation in her stomach for the coming night as she downed a grapefruit juice before heading into work for a couple of hours.