Cheryl St.John - His Secondhand Wife

Kate had swallowed embarrassment and clung to her hope that Levi would be back. Her time at the laundry and at her mother’s was marked. She’d be leaving any day.

Each day her hope slipped a notch.

Each week her anger and shame increased.

Each month her desperation had grown until she didn’t know whether it or the baby was feeding off her soul.

“You lied,” she accused, her voice no longer wavering. “You used me and you lied. I want to forgive you. I should. I know I should sit here and pray for your soul and forgive you. But you know what, Levi? I don’t forgive you.”

She stood and turned her back on the coffin holding her husband’s body. “I just might never forgive you.”

And with that, she picked up the lamp and swept from the room.

Chapter Three

As he’d promised, Noah filled a tub of hot water for her the following morning. The shades were already pulled—she’d noticed he preferred them that way, and as he left the kitchen, he told her to lock the door behind him.

“Won’t be back till evenin’,” he said. “But Estelle will be here before long.”

“I’ll be ready,” she promised. She locked the door, removed her clothing, then soaked in the deliciously hot water before washing her hair. Finished, she stoked the stove, combed out her hair and heated a flatiron to press the wrinkles from her dress.

She had donned it and was pinning up her hair when there was a knock at the door.

Kate unlocked and opened it.

A handsome woman wearing a black dress and matching hat held a vase of flowers while she looked Kate over from head to toe. She had graying brown hair and aristocratic high cheekbones. Her blue eyes widened when she noted the girth of Kate’s belly. “Oh my!” She stepped into the room. “You’re Katherine?”

“Yes, ma’am. And you’re Levi’s mother?”

Tears welled in the woman’s eyes. She turned away, set down the vase and tugged off her black gloves. “I can’t believe he’s gone. He was my only child.”

The complete lack of regard for her stepson struck Kate as insensitive, but she replied, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

She faced Kate once again. “You’re with child?”

Kate unconsciously touched her stomach. “Yes.”

“Noah didn’t bother to tell me.”

“He didn’t know until two days ago. I don’t think he knew about me until then. I’m not quite sure how he did know to find me.”

“He said the men who…associated with Levi in Masonville told him where he’d find you.”

“Oh. I see.”

Estelle moved to the nearest window and opened the shade with a cluck of disapproval. “Can’t have you sitting in the dark now, can we?”

“I just finished bathing and ironing my dress.”

Estelle glanced from the tub of water to Kate’s dress. Her mouth seemed pinched when she said, “Don’t you have something black? You’re in mourning, after all.”

“This is my nicest dress. I know it barely fits now, but it’s quite pretty.”

“As my son’s wife, you’ll need appropriate clothing.”

Kate looked down at her ruffled bodice and some of her optimism faded. Perhaps the dress was inappropriate for a widow.

The woman opened the door and hurried onto the back stoop where she rang the dinner bell.

Two hands came running as though there was an emergency. “Somethin’ wrong, Mizz Cutter?”

“Come empty the tub before company arrives,” she instructed.

They glanced at one another and lumbered forward.

“Harper Kimble,” the man with a mustache said to Kate as he passed. He wore fringed trousers and a red shirt with flowing sleeves.

“Kate Cutter,” she replied. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Newt Warren, ma’am,” the other man said as he picked up a bucket. The two of them bailed bathwater and Estelle picked up the flowers and led Kate into the dining room.

After placing the vase on the table, the woman left the shades down on the other windows and lit candles, then moved to stand beside the coffin. “Why is it closed?”

Kate shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Have you not looked upon your husband?”

She hadn’t thought of it. Hadn’t wanted to really. Noah told her he was in there and that was good enough for her. “No.”

“Mr. Kimble! Mr. Warren!” Estelle called.

The two men appeared in the doorway.

“One more thing. Please remove the lid from my son’s casket.”

They moved into the room and Kate took a step back.

One man stood on each end and they lifted off the wood and set it against the wall behind the sawhorses. With heads lowered respectfully, the men gazed upon the body.

“That will be all.” Estelle waited until they’d left the room before she moved to stand beside the coffin. She trembled and raised a handkerchief to her eyes, sobbing out loud.

Kate’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t want to look at Levi, but couldn’t help herself. She gazed upon his handsome profile, noticed the way his hair was combed uncharacteristically away from his forehead.

“He was a beautiful baby,” Estelle cried. “A beautiful golden-haired child and the most handsome man. Isn’t he handsome?”

Kate nodded. Levi had been handsome, no question about it. Even his smile stole a woman’s breath.

Estelle blotted her eyes and asked, “Who dressed him?”

Kate peered at the dark suit Levi wore. She’d never seen it before.

“I did.” Noah spoke from behind them.

Startled, Kate turned. For the first time she saw him without a hat. His chin-length hair hung over the side of his face and combined with his beard to hide his features.

The older woman turned and glared at her stepson. “You might have covered the sawhorses and brought in flowers. Is this the best you could do for a coffin for your only brother?”

Noah stared back at her. “Pretty ’im up, huh? Wouldn’t change anything, would it?”

Despite the beard, Kate noted that his mouth turned up with an odd sort of grimace at the corner and that that side didn’t move when he spoke. Perhaps that was the reason his speech sounded unusual.

“I might have known you wouldn’t show him any respect.”

“I loved him—I don’t respect what he did.”

Estelle cast him a censoring frown. “Are you going to speak of it in front of her?”

“She knows. Asked what happened and I told her.”

“You might have spared her.”

“Spared you, you mean.”

“You’re a dreadful man.”

Shocked, Kate spoke up. “I made Noah tell me. I wanted the truth. He’s been nothing but kind and considerate of my feelings and my well-being. You have no call to be angry with him, I assure you.”

“You poor girl,” Estelle said, moving to drape her arm around Kate’s shoulders. “What a burden you’ve been given. First Levi’s untimely death and then exposure to this heathen. You’ll come home with me after the funeral tomorrow. I have room for you, and you won’t have to stay here another minute longer than necessary.”

“That’s very kind of you. But I think this arrangement is going to work out just fine. I’d rather not live in town. Noah has my best interests at heart, I’m convinced.”

“Don’t be foolish, dear. You’re understandably upset and you’re not thinking clearly. You’ll be better off with me—another woman. You’ll be closer to the doctor and the stores and there are many social activities to help pass your days. I know firsthand what a dreadful bore it is being out here on this godforsaken ranch day after day.”