Adrianne Byrd - A Christmas Affair

Corona felt like she might need to make another run to the bathroom.

“When exactly were you planning to tell us that you’re marrying a white boy?”

“Don’t say it like that. What difference does it make what color he is?”

“I don’t care what color he is, but people like a heads-up.”

“I know. I know. I’ll call them.”

“Uh-huh. Right,” Tess challenged. “Looks to me like you were planning to avoid the issue by doing what you always do, run away.”

“Not funny.”

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“That’s not fair,” Chloe argued.

“But it is true.”

Silence.

“See? You may be good at running your little business up there.”

“Little?”

“But when it comes to family issues, you race out of the kitchen before the stove gets too hot. Talk to Daddy. It is waaaay past time for you two to settle y’all’s issues.”

“I know. I know.” And she did know. Things had never been the same between them since she had left Georgia the way she did. “I’ll talk to him. I promise.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Tess pressed.

“Okay. Is there another reason you called—other than to make me feel like crap?”

“Nope. I just wanted to check that off my to-do list.”

“Great. Fine. Consider it done.” She was tempted to slam the phone down, but she still had more questions about Lyfe that kept her from introducing Tess to Mr. Dial Tone.

“So. There’s nothing else you want to ask me?” Tess said, sounding like she knew exactly why her sister hadn’t slammed the phone down.

Silence.

“Say … anything about Lyfe Alton that you’re curious to know?”

“How … did he look? I mean—”

“Honey, let me tell you—that brother is sooooo freaking fine that the sheriff needs to be handing out tickets.” Tess roared to life. “I ain’t even lying. Tall as a mountain, muscle like POW! and POW! I mean, arms and thighs—but not like those gym muscleheads. I would give my right arm to drip some strawberry sauce all over Mr. Man’s body.”

“Have you forgotten just who in the hell you’re talking to?” Chloe snapped.

Tess cleared her throat. “Uhm … actually, yes.” Cough. “Sorry about that. But, Corona, I’m telling you. Out of the Alton six-pack, baby boy ain’t a baby no more.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it. He’s—”

“I said thanks. I get it. He’s good looking. I kind of figured that much.”

“Can I have him?” Tess asked meekly.

“What?”

“Look, I know that there’s some unwritten rule about dating your sister’s exes. But hell. You don’t come around here no more anyway.”

“I’m about to hang up on you.”

“Is that a ‘no’?”

“Hell yes, it’s a ‘no,’” Corona thundered. If her sister was standing in front of her right now, she was certain that she would have wrapped her hands around the child’s neck and squeezed until she was the same color as a Smurf.

“Well, I don’t see what the big damn deal is. You’re about to get married and expand the family. Don’t you want to see me happy?”

“You so much as bat an eyelash at Lyfe, I’ll see you six feet under.”

“Ooh. Testy. Could it be that you’re not quite over your first love?”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“That’s all right. I know how to call back.”

“You’ll get the answering machine,” she warned. When in the hell is that Excedrin going to kick in?

“I’d imagine that if you really cared about Lyfe’s feelings that you probably wouldn’t have left him standing at the altar.”

“There was no altar,” she grudgingly pointed out.

“Fine. You wouldn’t have left him standing in our backyard in a suit that barely fit and with Daddy pointing a shotgun at his back.”

“Oh, God, are you ever going to let me live that down?”

“Uhm, no. Can’t say that I will,” Tess said. “What you did was foul.”

“Well, excuse me. Shotgun weddings went out about a hundred years ago. My ditching Thomason to come live in New York was the right thing to do and you know it.”

“Humph!”

“Fine. I’m the bad guy. I get it. Foolish me. I thought that you only called to remind me of that on Christmas and my birthday.”

“Consider today a special occasion.”

“Your snarky sarcasm is getting old.”

“And believe it or not, our worlds don’t revolve around you. Other people have feelings, you know?”

“Yes. I do know that!”

“Do you? Is that why you were all up on the television telling the world that you’re getting married but you didn’t even find time to call your family?”

“I said I was going to call,” she said.

“Uh-huh.”

“I was just … waiting for the right time. That’s all.”

“You had time to call a television crew, but not your own family? Right. You know, you usually only blow smoke up my butt on Christmas and your birthday, too.”

“I’m sorry. There. I said it. Again. I’m the bad guy. Got it. I’ll call Mom and Dad and just explain the situation.”

“Just explain? You’re not going to bring your Hollywood hunk down here to meet the whole family? What? Are you ashamed of us or something?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to. Your actions speak louder than words—and I have to admit I’m disappointed in you, sis.”

“You used to be proud that I escaped from that place,” Chloe reminded her. “You used to say that you were going to come live with me when you got old enough.”

There was an awkward silence over the line.

“Tess?”

“Corona Mae, it’s one thing to leave to go make something of yourself. It’s another thing to act like you’ve forgotten where you came from.”

“I didn’t—”

“Look. We’ve gone around and around on this issue. I get it that you didn’t want to be forced into marriage at seventeen. You didn’t want to become a teenage housewife, have a house full of children and work part-time at Momma’s hair salon while Lyfe likely joined Daddy at the church and the restaurant. You made your point. But that was a long time ago. Things have changed.”

Silence.

“Corona Mae?”

“Yeah. I know. It’s not like I don’t ever call.”

“Rarely,” Tess corrected.

“It’s just that … “

“You’re scared of running into him, ” Tess said, as if picking up her sister’s thoughts over the line.

“Running into who?” She had no idea why she asked such a stupid question. Tess’s bark of laughter was so loud that Chloe had to pull the receiver away from her head in order to save her eardrum.

After a few seconds, she placed the phone back to her ear in time to hear her sister ask, “So are you a talent agent or are you a D-list comedian nowadays?”

“Ha. Ha.”

“You damn right, ‘ha, ha.’ I mean, really, Corona Mae. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. You might have hauled your butt out of the state and got all your little fancy degrees at all those Ivy-league colleges up there, but I know damn well that you haven’t gotten Lyfe Alton out of your system. So play your little Jedi mind trick on someone who doesn’t know you.”

“I’m sure that Lyfe doesn’t spare me a second thought these days. We were just … kids.”

“Kids in love. You were each other’s first.”

“So what? Everybody had a first. It doesn’t mean that you walk around pining after them for the rest of your life.”

“Please,” Tess drawled. “Everyone is still a little in love with their first—especially women. I don’t care how awful or how much of a jerk the dude turned out to be, there’s still some part of us that’s always going to be in love with our first.”