Linda Walters - Let Me Love You

His reputation from his early college days was legendary and it spelled caution any way you looked at it. Temple University had been his stomping grounds. She realized that he could have very well kept his old habits intact. Some men never grew up, never relinquished their player cards. In her mind, the pending divorce Nita had mentioned was, in all likelihood, something to which he’d contributed wholeheartedly.

Terrance wheeled Skye’s suitcase just inside the doorway to the bedroom she would occupy and then quickly turned around, holding out his hand once more.

“It’s been extremely nice meeting you,” he said, clasping it warmly between his two hands for a brief moment, which somehow seemed to last far longer than was necessary.

“You, too. Looks like we’re almost roommates,” Skye added, nodding toward his room which was just across the hallway.

“Now that would be asking for way too much,” he said and walked toward the door. “But a guy can hope,” he added, laughing as Skye quickly closed her door. She was trembling as she leaned back against it. She closed her eyes and tried to gather her wits about her. He was only a man. But, what a man. His body, his face, his voice, his eyes, his shoulders and his walk all came together in her mind and Skye opened her eyes in an effort to try and regain her composure.

It was the first time she’d seen a room done in shades of red. The walls were red, the café curtains at the window were red and the framed prints lining the walls were all in red themes. The furniture, the bed’s comforter and the area rug which sat next to a black leather chair were stark white, lending both contrast and a feeling of extreme space.

Skye’s breathing slowed as she composed herself. She vowed to keep herself under better control for the remainder of the weekend, trying to ignore the fact that the object of her undoing was housed less than ten feet away.

She unpacked, brushed her teeth, changed her blouse and wondered if she’d make it through the next forty-eight hours. Then, she bravely made her way toward the huge living room where Nita, Branch and the rest of the weekend’s company had already assembled.

Nita’s younger sister, Monica, and her current boyfriend, Patterson, were seated on the long sectional sofa looking through the wedding photo album. Lorenzo was pouring drinks, and Branch’s cousin, Ellie, also had a separate book of photos she was engrossed in.

Skye walked into the room, was quickly reintroduced to everyone with hugs, kisses and small talk. It took her several seconds to realize that Terrance was nowhere in sight. It took another minute for her to admit her disappointment, even if it was only to herself.

Terrance looked down at his cell phone, thought about turning it off and realized it was not an option. If anything happened to Jacqueline, if there was any type of emergency, he wanted to be available. The fact that this left him open to the possibility of Brianna’s constant monitoring, harassment and other displays of annoying behavior did not escape him. He left the phone on, turned the ringer off and prayed that he would not hear from the one woman in the world who could effectively ruin his day from more than three hundred miles away.

The past eighteen months had been a living hell, though he’d remained steadfast in his determination to move forward. The two-bedroom condominium he’d recently signed a contract to purchase was something he’d originally thought of as a temporary haven. After unpacking the essentials, establishing a fairly efficient way of doing things and coming to the conclusion that moving again would be too much of a hassle, he realized that he liked the easy access the apartment provided. Located in a newly renovated section of Nassau township where tourists were seldom found, it contained all new appliances, upgrades in the things that mattered and a sweeping view of a small coastal waterway. Many of his evenings were now spent having dinner alone on the tiny veranda just outside his living/dining room as he watched the boats enter and leave the small harbor in his view.

His everyday existence consisted of work, work and more work. Which was why he’d had no qualms or second thoughts when Branch issued the weekend invitation. At the moment, Terrance was doing his best to forget the face and body of the shorty now assigned to the room across the hall from him for the weekend. Still, her smile lingered in his thoughts. Something about her made him want to see her again and he found himself eager to rejoin the group for their first night of reminiscing.

Terrance checked his watch, noted the time and decided it wouldn’t hurt to change his shirt and freshen up a bit. Fort Lauderdale sunshine and heat were different from what he was used to experiencing in Nassau. The humidity of the Florida environment took getting used to, even for him. Just as he finished brushing his teeth, his cell phone vibrated. He looked at it, shook his head and reached for it.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Terrance. I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time,” Brianna said, her breath coming in gasps.

“No, not at all. Is anything wrong?” Terrance’s pulse raced suddenly. He spit toothpaste into the sink, as adrenaline surged through his body. In the seconds that followed, he tried to tell himself that the call was probably just an unnecessary interruption, but he also realized that he stood frozen waiting for Brianna to answer his question.

“No, actually I just thought I’d call to give you some good news for a change.”

The voice on the other end of the phone suddenly sounded soft, sweetly feminine and decidedly friendly. Warning bells went off in his head and he looked at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, the whole episode seemed funny and he laughed, putting the toothbrush back into its case.

“And what would that be?” His relief was so thorough that he was caught off guard, feeling an immediate sense of relief, which was followed by an abrupt shift to curiosity.

“Oh, it’s just that Jacqueline has decided she wants to be just like her daddy and be a doctor. I thought it was the cutest thing. I also thought you’d get a kick out of hearing about it.” She laughed deeply, the intimacy of sharing their daughter’s dreams and hopes coming through in her voice.

Terrance joined her for a moment, then was brought back to present-day reality when he remembered that this was the same woman whose moods could change on a dime—and usually Terrance was the scapegoat.

The fact that their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter was still unable to speak coherently also made him realize Brianna’s statement had to be taken with a grain of salt.

In his mind, this was a woman who alternated between existences, never knowing what she really wanted or what she needed, especially when it came to him and their marriage.

Shortly after Jacqueline’s birth, Brianna had insisted that she return to work. They hadn’t really needed the money, but in the end, he’d agreed just to keep her from being miserable. As an emergency room nurse, the hours she’d picked up had taken them from simply getting by to doing very nicely. But he’d noticed a change in Brianna’s personality immediately and wondered if this was what he’d have to contend with forever. He’d also wondered if her behavior was the result of too much pressure, not enough support or just a lack of maturity. It hadn’t taken long for him to get an answer.

Daily complaints about not having enough time to be herself, not enough room to have any space and not enough air to breathe soon became a mantra. Brianna began staying out even when she wasn’t scheduled to work and often came in the following morning.

Terrance had attributed it all to stress, both on the job and in her new role as a mother. It wasn’t until he realized that they were no longer making love, no longer spending real time together and no longer communicating in any meaningful way that he began to suspect otherwise.