Jennifer Lohmann - A Promise for the Baby

“I didn’t do anything illegal.” The matter-of-factness with which she said those words left a myriad of other secretive possibilities undenied.

“Does the secret have to do with why you were fired?”

“I don’t want my dad to know I’m pregnant because I don’t want him to have extra incentive to come looking for me.” Topic of conversation seemingly changed with the vague answer, she reached for a bagel, but Karl wasn’t satisfied.

“Because?”

Vivian put the bagel on the plate with a sigh. “Because he’s trouble, and I’m too old to go on thinking it’s fun.”

“Shouldn’t it be a parent’s prerogative to know if they’re going to be a grandparent?”

“Have you told your parents about me yet?” she asked.

“Parent. My dad died when I was sixteen.”

“I knew that. I’m sorry.”

“The people responsible for his death are the ones who should be sorry. You didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“But I’m not the only one keeping secrets from one of the baby’s grandparents.” She looked out the window before reaching for the tub of cream cheese. “My dad is better off not knowing.” Scrutinizing her bagel as she smeared it with cream cheese, she continued, “He wouldn’t care that much anyway.”

Interesting. She had the same tells when she was lying to herself as she did when lying to other people.

He took his time choosing his bagel and spreading it with cream cheese, enjoying her wary looks as she tore small bites off hers and chewed them slowly. If she didn’t want to continue worrying about what would happen if he knew her secrets, she should spill them and get the pain over with.

His coffee was barely hot as he washed his breakfast down before changing the subject. “Speaking of a parent’s prerogative and whether or not she knows about you, my mom planned a family dinner for tomorrow.”

* * *

VIVIAN COUGHED, BUT managed to choke down her mouthful. Couldn’t he have waited until after I’d swallowed before laying that on me?

“Am I invited?” Did she want to be invited? She didn’t want to be a dirty secret locked up in a basement somewhere, but meeting Karl’s family had seemed less scary when it was an abstract idea. Or when bumping into his brother-in-law at the library without the chance to escape or the opportunity to worry about it beforehand.

“We’re married and you’re carrying my child. I think that makes you family. Or do you plan to hide from my family like you’re hiding from yours?”

How nicely Karl evaded the fact that he’d been hiding her, as well. “Hiding from my family is an exaggeration. My father could probably find me if he tried.”

His shoulders fell, but he didn’t sigh in exasperation at her. Since she was exasperated herself, this was a bit of a surprise. “There are aspects of your life you don’t want to tell me right now,” he said. “That’s fine. Not great, but we’re strangers in a rough situation and I’m trying to be understanding. But don’t outright lie to me.”

“Fine.” She put down her bagel and looked him straight in the eye. “It’s not an exaggeration, and I’m hoping he doesn’t try, but not for the same reasons you’re keeping me from your family, I’m sure.” What she had to say next would be harder to admit to, but she wanted him to understand, even if she couldn’t tell him everything. “My dad’s fun, but he’s not responsible. I need responsible.”

“Did he do something illegal?” His voice expressed simple curiosity, but there had to be more behind the question. Vivian didn’t believe Karl ever asked anything out of simple curiosity.

“What’s your time frame?” She pushed her half-eaten bagel away, no longer hungry.

“It’s not a trick question, Vivian. He either did or he didn’t.”

“Maybe it’s easy for you, but you’re a lawyer and you spend your time looking for evildoers. This is my father we’re talking about. He’s lazy and looking to make a quick buck involving the least amount of work. Combine that with Las Vegas...” She shrugged. “There are a million things he could have done that are wrong without being illegal.”

And that was just Las Vegas. If she assumed that every time they had moved in the middle of the night it had been because her father was escaping the law...

Of course, on a few occasions he might have been escaping his partners in crime, not the authorities.

“You should tell your father the truth.”

“No.” The word came out more forcefully than she had meant it to, causing Xìnyùn to whistle from the next room. “When I’m settled, I’ll tell him. Until then...” An offensive tactic seemed to be a better idea right now. “What are you going to tell your family about me?”

He took a sip of his coffee and grimaced. It was cold, which was probably why she hadn’t touched hers. “At dinner will be my mom, my sister Tilly and her boyfriend, and my sister Renia and her husband, Miles. You met Miles at the library. I don’t know if his daughter, Sarah, will be there.”

“I’ll get you another cup of coffee,” she said, reaching out for his mug.

His hand was cool when it grabbed her wrist. “Don’t. If I want another cup I’ll get it myself.”

“I’m just trying to be nice.” I’m still in your apartment, eating your food, without a job. And now we have this secret hanging between us.

“When you’re offering just to be nice, I’ll let you get me a cup of coffee. Until then, you’re doing it because you feel beholden to me and I’m not interested.” He let go of her hand and she missed the cool touch of his palm on her skin.

Which was nuts. They weren’t a couple; they were a couple of people stuck having a baby together. She would get a job and her own insurance, they would agree on divorce terms and child support and she would never feel his touch again. He was a domineering pain in the ass, anyway. Because you feel beholden. Assuming jerk.

But because he was right, she asked her question again. “What are you going to tell your family about me?”

“The truth.”

“That we met while drunk, had sex and woke up married?”

The corner of his mouth kicked up in a smile, marking this morning as the first time she’d heard him laugh much less give any indication he could smile outside of Las Vegas. And she couldn’t help notice that his hazel eyes twinkled when he smiled. “An edited version of the truth.”

“Could you—” how to ask this question without sounding like she was trying to hide even more “—not tell them about the baby?”

The corners of his mouth fell as his smile turned suspicious. As he should be, Vivian thought, only not with regard to the baby. “Any particular reason to keep it a secret?”

“I’d always heard it was bad luck to tell anyone before the third month.”

“Miles knows—or at least guesses. He saw the book.”

“Just between us for now. Okay?”

* * *

KARL DIDN’T USUALLY lie to his mom, but he knew how to keep something from her. He’d hidden his impending divorce from her almost until Jessica had served him with the petition. It wasn’t something he liked doing—his mom had been angry about the secret of the divorce for months—but he made it a habit not to answer questions people didn’t ask. It hadn’t occurred to his mother to ask if he was getting a divorce. However...

“Is she pregnant?” his mom asked in a whisper as she handed him a platter of sauerkraut pierogies to take to the dining room.

“Why do you ask?” If he could avoid answering the question, he wouldn’t have to lie to his mother. He didn’t want to. But he understood Vivian’s reluctance to share the news—though his reasons were different. The fewer people who knew about the pregnancy, the fewer people who would insist on showing him adorable baby booties and maybe the fewer chances he’d have to think of all the horrible ways children die. As long as only he and Vivian knew about the baby, he could ignore the risk childhood posed to a child whenever he wasn’t around his wife. Or so he told himself.