Kate Hardy - If The Ring Fits...

‘I don’t know whether I want to weep for you most or bang your parents’ heads together,’ he said. ‘And you’re being way too hard on yourself.’ He held her close. ‘When you’re fifteen, you have enough to deal with anyway, without having family troubles on top of that. Of course you’d have dealt with the situation differently at, say, eighteen, but you were only fifteen, Pol. You were still a kid. You couldn’t be expected to cope with their mind games and selfishness. And I’m sorry you had to go through that kind of unhappiness.’ He paused. ‘Obviously they found you in time after you did it.’

She nodded. ‘They took me to hospital. The doctors patched me up and sent me for counselling. That’s when I learned that smiling makes things better. Fake it until you make it.’

‘You don’t always have to put on a brave face. It’s OK to be upset or angry.’

‘No, it’s not.’

He decided not to point out that she’d lost her temper with him and cried all over him. Right now she’d smile her way through anything he said. He’d thought he was stubborn, but she made him look like an amateur.

There was nothing he could say. He just held her. ‘Did your parents finally wake up to what they were doing?’

She nodded. ‘I think seeing all that blood shocked my parents into going for therapy, too, and the fighting and the leaving and the getting back together all stopped. But we don’t really trust each other. They don’t trust me not to go into meltdown every time something stressful happens, and I don’t trust them to be there for me when life doesn’t go the way I want it to.’

‘You didn’t go into meltdown over Harry. Well, except your haircut. Which I take was a statement that you were kind of reinventing yourself without him.’

‘I did it myself with nail scissors. Just to get rid of the one thing Harry always said he loved about me, because—well, I was angry and hurt, and this was my way of lashing out.’ She gave him a wry smile. ‘Cutting off my hair to spite my face, you might say. Shona freaked out slightly because she knows about my past, but she dragged me off to get my hair fixed.’

‘It suits you.’

‘And it doesn’t take two hours to dry any more. That’s a bonus.’

Another of those wide Polly Anna smiles. He stroked her face. ‘I know Fliss and Shona have been careful with you. I take it your parents are treading on eggshells?’

Polly grimaced. ‘Dad’s first concern was the money. How much he’d paid out in deposits and would have to forfeit. And then Mum started shouting at him for being selfish.’

‘Now I really want to bang their heads together. How can they put themselves first when your life’s gone pear-shaped?’

‘It’s how they are.’ She sighed. ‘I guess I’m a coward, because I’ve been avoiding them ever since. But it’s a lot easier dealing with them at a distance.’

‘You’re not a coward, Pol. You’re sensible. I’d avoid them, too.’

She smiled wryly. ‘I wish they were more like Fliss’s parents. Fliss let me move in with her until I found a flat—and the second she told her parents what had happened, they came round to give me a hug and ask if I had a to-do list they could help with.’

Thank God she had someone in her life who cared enough for her. And he made a mental note to call his family later. He’d pushed them away too much; it was time he started appreciating them. They only interfered and nagged because they cared. He was lucky. ‘Fliss’s family sound lovely.’

‘They are. Actually, Harry’s parents are lovely, too. After he told them, they called me and told me he’s an idiot, and just because I wasn’t with him any more it didn’t mean I couldn’t still be part of their lives.’

Because to know Polly was to love her, Liam thought.

And he stuffed that thought right back in its box before it had a chance to grow. Love? He wasn’t in love with her. Love wasn’t something he did any more. Besides, Polly had made it clear she didn’t want that from him. She didn’t need that extra pressure right now. And he didn’t need the complications.

He stroked her hair. ‘I’m glad you’ve got good people in your life.’

‘I have. I’m lucky. I have so much to be grateful for.’

‘Or to make up for your parents,’ he said.

She blew out a breath. ‘I promised myself I’d never end up like them. That I wouldn’t marry someone I’d fight with all the time and who’d cheat on me. That I’d only marry someone really stable. Someone I liked, someone who liked me back. Someone safe .’

‘Harry?’

She sighed. ‘And how wrong I was. He wasn’t safe at all. He liked me, but he didn’t love me. Not in the right way. I didn’t realise he wanted the kaboom. I thought liking him and feeling safe with him was enough—for him as well as for me. That it could be perfect.’

Fake it until—but they hadn’t made it, had they? And no doubt that had shaken Polly’s faith in herself even more. ‘I take it you didn’t feel the kaboom for him?’ Liam asked gently.

She shook her head. ‘So I guess he was right to call it off, because it wouldn’t have worked. Not in the long term. What we had wasn’t perfect. I was kidding myself, because I wanted it so badly. In the end he probably would’ve ended up cheating on me, because we loved each other as friends. He needed more than that. And he’s obviously found it in …’ Saying Harry’s new love’s name was clearly a struggle, but she didn’t shirk it. ‘In Grace.’

Liam kept his arms wrapped round her, and Polly rested her forehead against his chest. ‘Thank you. For not judging me.’

‘I think you’ve already judged yourself much more harshly than anyone else could or would,’ he said softly. ‘So, no, I wasn’t going to judge you. There’s that old saying about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes before you judge them. That’s pretty true.’

‘Maybe.’ She closed her eyes. ‘About last night—I’m sorry. I wish it could be different. It’s the wrong time. If we’d met maybe in six months’ time … ‘

‘I know. But we didn’t. So we’ll keep this strictly colleagues. Friends,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry. And I’d better let you get some rest. See you tomorrow.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘Call me if you can’t sleep, OK?’

‘Thanks.’ She dragged in a breath. ‘That’s more than I deserve.’

‘No, it isn’t.’ And how he wanted to kiss her properly. To kiss away all the pain and the heartache, let her lose herself in him. Take her to the edge of paradise, where nothing else mattered but each other.

But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

And, although his heart was screaming at him to stay right where he was, his head was in control. He did what he knew was the right thing. And left.

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