Kayla Perrin - Always in My Heart

He saw something flash in her eyes. And he got the distinct sense that all her chatter had simply been a way to break the ice, to ease the tension.

“Maybe you should sit down,” she suggested.

Nigel groaned his frustration. “Are you here to apologize, Callie? Because for the life of me, that’s the only thing that makes sense. You came back to town for your aunt’s funeral, and you’ve been attacked by a bout of conscience. Well, guess what—you’ve shown up ten years too late.”

“You’re angry,” she said.

For some reason, the comment irked Nigel all the more. “You’re damn right I’m angry.” Pausing, Nigel drew in a slow breath. “I mean, I was angry. But what happened was a long time ago.”

“I know.”

It hurt to see her, he realized. More than it should given how much time had passed. Suddenly, he didn’t care if she had that cup of tea. He was ready for the visit to be over.

“You know what, Callie—there’s no need to apologize.” If she was truly sorry, it wouldn’t have taken her ten years to show up at his door, so any apology she gave him now would ring hollow.

“I’m not here to apologize.”

That got his attention. One of his eyebrows shot up. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you a long time ago.” Callie drew in a deep breath. “Nigel…when I left Cleveland…” Her voice trailed off.

He studied her, wondering what on earth she had to say. Surely she wasn’t going to tell him that she regretted leaving, that she wanted him back.

The idea was laughable. But the fact that she was here meant hell had already frozen over, so anything was possible.

“You’re here, Callie,” he said. “Just spit out whatever it is that you have to say.”

“When I left here, I was pregnant,” she began slowly, not looking into Nigel’s eyes.

Nigel was confused. “I don’t understand.”

“When I left Cleveland, I was pregnant,” she repeated, her eyes now meeting his.

“What are you saying? That you were seeing someone else? Is that why you left without an explanation?”

“No, I wasn’t seeing anyone else.” Callie spoke emphatically. “What I’m saying is…I was pregnant with your baby.” Nigel saw her chest rise and fall with a shaky breath. “Nigel, you have a son.”

Seconds passed. Seconds in which it seemed as though a bomb had gone off, shattering his world.

In fact, he was certain that Callie had not said what he thought she’d just said. It didn’t make sense. If she had been pregnant with his baby, surely she wouldn’t have taken off without telling him.

“What did you say?” he asked. He needed to be sure.

“I was pregnant, Nigel. I…I had your baby. A boy. He’s here with me—”

“You’re telling me I’m a father?”

Callie nodded. “Yes. Your son’s name is Kwame.”

The simple words hit Nigel with the impact of a kick to his stomach, so much so that he exhaled all the air in his lungs in a huge gush.

“I have a…” Son? He couldn’t even say the word, it was that unbelievable.

“I know you’re surprised,” Callie went on.

“Surprised?” Nigel laughed, but it was a hollow, mirthless sound. Surprise was the least of it. He was dumbfounded. If someone had told him that his best friend was actually a robot, he would have been less surprised.

He was a father.

It seemed inconceivable. Sure, he knew that he and Callie had made love enough times to create a baby. But though they’d been young, they’d been smart enough to use protection.

“How?” Nigel asked. “How is this possible?”

“I know it’s hard to believe because we were using protection,” Callie began. “But condoms aren’t always foolproof.”

This couldn’t be happening. Surely Nigel had been transported to the twilight zone. Because what he was hearing was too bizarre to be true.

Get this—she’s got a child. Marshall’s words sounded in his mind. A young boy was getting out of the car with her. Maybe eight.

“How old is he?” Nigel asked.

“Nine.”

Nine… If the kid was nine, it certainly could be his son. His heart was racing, but with each passing second, he was becoming convinced that he wasn’t in the twilight zone.

This was really happening. This was true.

Callie had said that condoms weren’t always foolproof, and Nigel couldn’t help remembering at least a couple times that the condom had broken when they’d been together. At the time, he hadn’t been overly concerned about it. Because he had planned to spend his life with Callie, so if they’d created a child together, Nigel would have been fine with that, even if a baby had come along sooner than he had planned.

Callie, the condom broke, Nigel remembered telling her the first time it had happened.

Do you think we made a baby? Callie had asked, stroking his face, smiling as if the idea pleased her.

Nigel stiffened his jaw now, pushing the memory of that happier time from his mind. Clearly, he and Callie had created a baby one of the times that the condom had broken.

Kwame. His son.

“So you got pregnant and you didn’t tell me,” Nigel said, stating the obvious.

“I know I should have.”

“Yet you didn’t.”

“Yes,” Callie said, sounding ashamed.

It didn’t make sense that she was here. Why tell him about this now?

“So what happened to bring you here now? You had some sudden epiphany that you should finally clue me in?”

“Something like that.”

He supposed what he really wanted to know was if Callie had ever planned to tell him. “Was that your plan all along?” he asked. “To not tell me about this?”

“No, that wasn’t my plan,” Callie explained. “I never thought I would have your baby and not tell you about it.”

“Then how could you? After what we meant to each—” The words died in Nigel’s throat. Obviously, he hadn’t meant as much to Callie as he’d thought.

“I just…I felt that if we weren’t working as a couple, then why burden you with a child?”

Nigel gaped at her, then steeled his jaw in anger. “Are you serious?”

Callie looked somewhat hurt by the question, but for goodness’ sake, he was the one with the reason to be upset. For ten years, she had kept him in the dark. Starting with her pregnancy and then the birth of their son.

“I know it’s not easy to understand,” Callie said. “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I know that would be unrealistic. I’m just asking…I’m here because I know it was time for me to do the right thing.”

“Because of what happened to you?” Nigel asked, gesturing to her injured arm. “That bandage and sling have something to do with you wanting to do the right thing? Did you get hurt in some…some crazy protest?” He would bet money on it. Callie, the fireball of passion he had known and loved, ready to speak out against injustice at every turn.

Callie looked away, pausing briefly before answering. “No, no protest. I’m not the same person I was years ago. But yes, getting hurt made me see the light. I realized that if I died, Kwame deserved to be with his father.”

“So if not for your accident, you wouldn’t be here.”

“And Auntie Jean’s death as well,” Callie said softly. “A death in the family put things into perspective.”

Nigel gritted his teeth. He wanted to hear Callie say that after all these years, nagging guilt was why she was finally here at his place. He didn’t want to hear that he was the fallback plan. That if something tragic happened to her, he would then be good enough for his son.

“A lot of holes with that plan, I can tell you,” Nigel muttered.