Brenda Novak - Shooting the Moon

“No. Meeting with you is.”

“Well, we’re meeting already, so we might as well enjoy ourselves, provided you know how.”

“I know how to have fun,” she replied, wishing she didn’t sound so defensive. “It’s just that I’m sitting across from the man who got my sister pregnant and has suddenly reappeared out of nowhere to threaten what I love most. What’s fun about that?”

He stared at her for a long time, and again Lauren regretted sounding so harsh. What was it about Harley that knocked her off her balance? One minute she thought she was being too kind to him. The next she thought she was being too cruel. She couldn’t seem to pick a lane.

“Tell me something,” he said. “What would you do if you were me?”

Lauren didn’t answer. She didn’t want to look at things from his perspective, knew instinctively that it would only undermine her resolve.

“Lauren?”

“I don’t know,” she said impatiently. “I guess I wouldn’t have left. I would’ve stayed around so I could know my son.”

He cupped a hand to his ear. “What? I can’t hear you for the silver spoon in your mouth.”

“We’re talking about character, not privilege or money,” she retorted, curling her fingernails into her palms because she knew she wasn’t being completely honest. She was well aware of his situation ten years ago—eighteen years old, penniless, the fatherless son of an alcoholic mother. With her own powerful father doing his best to shut him out, and Audra falling in line behind Quentin, what could Harley have done? Would anyone have stuck around in the face of all that?

“We’re talking about a lack of options,” he clarified.

The waitress approached to take their order. Lauren kept her eyes on her wine, slowly turning her glass by the stem while Harley ordered pad thai and soup for her, yellow curry chicken for himself and the chicken satay as an appetizer for them both.

When they were alone again, Lauren folded her hands in her lap and shot him a glance. “Maybe you didn’t have a lot of options back then,” she said, “but you were old enough to know what made a baby. Why didn’t you use any birth control?”

His gaze never wavered. “I was so crazy about her that it might not have mattered, but for what it’s worth, Audra told me she was on the pill.”

It might not have mattered? How did one forget about something so important? “What about my father?” she asked. “You knew he didn’t want you around Audra.”

“And I was supposed to respect that? God, are you really so cold? I was in love with her!”

So his relationship with her sister had meant more than sex to him. Lauren had often wondered. But knowing that truth only made her feel worse. Or was it what he’d just said about her that stung? Damien Thompson had once called her an ice princess, but she wasn’t cold. She’d just never been head over heels in love.

“If you’d stayed away from Audra, there wouldn’t have been a problem,” she said.

“You mean there wouldn’t have been a Brandon,” he replied, and he was right. How could she think such a thing? Brandon was the most wonderful child in the world. Dammit! Why was this so confusing?

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to regroup. “I realize you had a difficult childhood, and I hate the thought of you or anyone else suffering—”

“I’m not interested in your sympathy,” he interrupted with a dark scowl. “I’m just asking you to understand that what happened back then isn’t as black and white as you seem to believe. I’m not trying to ruin your life. I wasn’t trying to ruin Audra’s. I’m only here because I have a son I fathered ten years ago. I’ve never seen him, and I think it’s time I changed all that, don’t you?”

Every nerve in Lauren’s body stretched taut. How much of a change was Harley hoping for? He lived in California. He couldn’t maintain any kind of close relationship with Brandon so far away. And Lauren couldn’t let Brandon go anywhere with him. Even if she agreed, which she never would, her father wouldn’t allow it. And Quentin Worthington had the resources to see his wishes through, while Harley was just a motorcycle salesman.

Noting the clear intelligence shining in Harley’s green eyes, the aquiline nose, the full bottom lip and square, rugged chin, she saw much of this man in Brandon. Was that why she felt so attracted to Harley? Surely it wasn’t the old schoolgirl crush, the one that had her staring after him in high school?

“What exactly are you asking?” she breathed.

“Let me see him.”

“I can’t.”

“Lauren.” He reached out and covered her cold hand with his warm one. “Please.”

She closed her eyes. This was going to start something big. She knew it; she could feel it. And it terrified her. “When?” she managed.

“Tonight. After dinner.”

“Not tonight.”

His hand tightened on hers. “When?”

“Tomorrow,” she said. At that moment, the waitress arrived with their food, but Lauren knew she wouldn’t be able to eat a bite.

WHAT A NIGHT! Lauren groaned as she trained one bleary eye on her alarm clock. It was five in the morning. She’d left the restaurant at eleven and tossed and turned until three. Then, when she finally fell asleep, she’d dreamed about Harley snatching Brandon from her. She could still see the triumphant grin he’d worn when he ripped the boy from her grasp, tossed him onto the back of his bike and roared away. It was a disturbing image that conflicted with the Harley she’d met for dinner last night, but at this hour, the sinister Harley seemed more real than not.

Shoving a hand through her tangled hair, she closed her eyes and tried to drift off again. Don’t think about it, she told herself. She had another hour before she was scheduled to pick Brandon up from Kimberly’s so she could get him ready for school, but she was too worried to relax. She’d promised to introduce Brandon to his father today. Would she be letting the wolf in the door?

The telephone rang, the noise startling and loud in the silent house.

She grabbed the receiver and cleared her throat before saying hello, then sagged in relief when she heard her father on the other end of the line. He’d gotten her messages. Thank heaven!

“Dad, I’m so glad to hear from you,” she said. “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days. Where have you and Mom been?”

“We took the train to Paris for the weekend. Just got back,” he said. “What’s wrong? The front desk here at the hotel said it was urgent. Is Brandon okay?”

Lauren sat up, cross-legged, and kneaded her forehead. She’d wanted to speak to her father ever since Harley had appeared, but now that she had Quentin on the phone, she was almost afraid to tell him what was going on. She knew he wasn’t going to like the fact that Harley had popped back into their lives, and hated to admit that she wasn’t maintaining a stronger defense against him. “Brandon’s fine, Dad, don’t worry. Everything’s fine—for the most part.” At least right now. “It’s just that…well, Harley’s back. He came here Saturday morning.”

“What?”

Flinching from the blast of her father’s voice, Lauren held the phone away from her ear. “It’s true,” she said when it was safe to move the handset closer.

“What do you mean he’s back? Has he moved to town?”

“What’s happened? What is it?” she heard her mother ask in the background.

“No. He lives in California,” Lauren said. “He learned about Audra and came to see Brandon.”

“Did you let him in?”

An ominous silence followed this question, one that made Lauren glad she could answer honestly when she said no. She didn’t add, “not yet.”