Brenda Novak - A Baby of Her Own

All her fears concerning what would happen if Conner learned about the baby seemed to float at the forefront of Delaney’s mind. The possible custody battles, the difficulty of sharing a child, her worry that he might not be the best influence, considering what she’d heard about his reputation…

She didn’t want to do anything that would risk the security of her baby’s future. But the truth was the truth. She couldn’t get around it anymore. She’d cheated him, and her sense of justice demanded she admit it.

“Yes,” she said.

He gulped air into his lungs as though she’d slugged him, then jammed his hands into his pockets and whirled toward the door. Delaney thought he was going to walk out on her without another word, but after two steps he turned back. “You did it on purpose,” he said. “You meant to get pregnant. That’s what you had in mind from the very beginning.”

The loathing in his voice hurt even more than Delaney had imagined it would. “Yes.”

“And what the hell do you hope to gain from it?”

“Nothing. I just want the baby. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah, right,” he said, and strode out. Then silence fell. But the peace was gone.

Dear Reader,

When I set out to write A Baby of Her Own, I planned to play with the “what if” concept of having my heroine do something most of us would never do, something that could change her whole life, something she might easily regret beyond any other action. I was interested in the emotions she’d face and how she’d deal with the consequences.

But as I got to know Delaney, the heroine, and Rebecca, her best friend, their opposite natures intrigued me. I found they had quite a bit to say about choices and maturation, friendship and unconditional love. Rebecca is probably one of the most imperfect “good” characters I’ve ever worked with—a real loose cannon—yet I love her as much as Delaney and would gladly claim either as my best friend, if I had the chance. I hope that by the time you finish this story, you’ll feel the same. And I hope that you’ll watch for Rebecca’s story, coming from Superromance in 2003. (Watch for my Harlequin single title, too! Taking the Heat will appear on your bookseller’s shelves in February 2003.)

I love to hear from readers. Please feel free to visit me online at www.brendanovak.com or send me a note—P.O. Box 3781, Citrus Heights, CA 95611.

Here’s wishing you the unconditional love we all crave!

Brenda Novak

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To my second-oldest daughter, Megan, for her strength

of spirit, her leadership ability and her constancy.

Meg, you’re a light to everyone who knows you,

someone capable of great things because at twelve years

old you’ve already learned the power of self-discipline.

I can always depend on you to choose the right and

stay the course, and that has been an incredible blessing.

If you forget everything else I’ve ever taught you,

remember this: my love is everlasting.

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

EPILOGUE

“ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION. Of course! That’s the answer.”

Delaney Lawson almost choked on her drink. Swallowing hard, she sent a quick glance around the redneck bar that was the center of Dundee, Idaho’s weekend entertainment to see who might have overheard, then lowered her voice. “I hope you’re talking about breeding horses, Beck.”

Rebecca Wells, her friend and housemate, didn’t look the least bit abashed. “You know I’m not talking about horses. I’m talking about you,” she responded, fiddling with her new short haircut. “Because of what you said last night.”

Delaney grimaced. “Forget about last night. Buddy had just told me that the two of you are getting married, that you’re going to be leaving the state in five months. And it was my thirtieth birthday. I had a right to be depressed.”

“I was planning to tell you after your birthday.”

“Oh, well, what are big, dumb guys for?”

“I can think of several uses for Buddy. But you weren’t upset about my engagement or your birthday. You were depressed because you can’t find anyone to love, and Aunt Millie and everyone else in this godforsaken town is asking when you’re going to get married. And because—more than anything—you want a baby.”

“I was depressed because you’re marrying a man you met on the Internet, a guy you’ve seen only once, and I’m turning thirty without the prospect of a family in sight. It’s all those things,” Delaney insisted. “Besides, Valentine’s Day is in a couple of weeks, which doesn’t help.”

Someone started the jukebox and Rebecca looked away. Delaney knew she didn’t like displays of emotion. Rebecca expressed herself with sarcasm and laughter, not words like I love you and I’m going to miss you. But Delaney understood how deeply she cared, and returned those feelings. They’d been part of each other’s lives for twenty-four years.

“I’ll come back and visit every chance I get, you know that,” Rebecca said after a long silence.

“I know,” Delaney told her. “I’ll be okay. I mean, we’re adults. We have lives to lead. I just hope Buddy turns out to be everything you think he is.”

“Buddy will drive me crazy, like he did yesterday when he let the cat out of the bag early—but we fit, you know?”

Delaney nodded, even though she wasn’t sure she agreed. Physically they were opposites—Buddy short, round and dark; Rebecca tall, thin and dishwater blond when her hair wasn’t colored something more trendy—but it was the differences in their personalities that worried Delaney. From what she could gather, Buddy seemed nice, but he was also quiet, steady and ploddingly predictable. She couldn’t see her volatile friend settling for a couch potato. Or maybe that was exactly what Rebecca needed. Maybe Buddy’s easygoing nature would temper Rebecca’s high spirits and they’d reach some common ground and live happily ever after. Delaney certainly hoped it would end that way.

“You’ll find someone,” Rebecca said, but her words rang hollow to Delaney, who was running out of patience. She’d wanted to get married for several years now and she felt as if she couldn’t wait another day.

“Maybe.”

“There’s still plenty of time to have kids,” Rebecca cajoled.

“Not if the next ten years go like the last. As much as I love the people around here, I don’t really belong to any of them. But you probably can’t understand what it’s like to feel so detached. You grew up in a family with three older sisters—”