Helen Dickson - Miss Cameron's Fall from Grace

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‘WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE OF PLEASURE, MISS CAMERON.’In a seedy tavern in the backstreets of London a case of mistaken identity leads respectable Miss Delphine Cameron to be unwittingly ravished by a devilish colonel: Lord Stephen Fitzwaring. Now she’s had a taste of lovemaking, and against her better judgement she craves it again…But the Colonel has ruined her honour, and there is only one way they can avoid a scandal: Delphine must marry her dark-eyed seducer! Now Delphine must decide between a life of chastity…or succumbing to her husband’s irresistible temptation…

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‘The fist attribute of a lady is ladylike conduct, whether in public or in private, and conduct of all kinds must be governed by good manners. You, Delphine, have shown neither. Why do you have to be like this? Why can you not look to your sisters for example?’

‘I am not like my sisters, Mama.’

‘No, you are not. You are too outspoken, too disobedient—too much of everything, and you do things that no respectable young lady would contemplate doing. Courting danger, traipsing about the streets at night with cut-throats and ruffians on the loose and suffering all weathers.’

Delphine’s eyes grew moist with unshed tears. ‘Exposure to the elements is not suffering,’ she replied. ‘It is nothing compared to the pain of rejection. To be rejected by a father and mother for not being the son they had hoped for: that is true suffering.’ The words slipped from her mouth before she could check herself and her mother looked surprised and more than a little discomfited by her perception. Delphine felt as if a part of her had died. Her need to be loved and adored burned as brightly as ever, but her innocence was gone.

Pulling herself together with an effort, she continued. ‘I should not have spoken to you so, but your questioning has drawn from me that which we have never spoken of before. I have always been sensitive to the fact.’

Her mother got to her feet, her body ramrod straight, her head up. Her breathing was fast, her whole face alight with the force of her anger.

‘Your father and I have tried and tried with you, Delphine,’ she said. Her voice was tinged with sadness, but edged with self-righteous complaint. ‘We have done our best for you—given you everything. All you seem to care for is your charity work—there scarcely seems room in your life for anything else. I don’t know where it has come from, this fondness you have for simple folk. It may be counted a credit to your wisdom that you are fair and show consideration to them. Alas, this cannot hold true for those most near and dear to you.’

‘I am sorry, Mama,’ Delphine said awkwardly. ‘I do love you and Papa and all my sisters, but I also enjoy what I do.’

‘Sorry!’ Her mother’s voice was scornful. ‘Perhaps if you had been a dutiful daughter you would not feel so rejected. I am still waiting for you to explain where you have been all night. Am I to suppose that you stayed at that—that bordello?’

Delphine blanched and looked away. Lady Cameron came to stand in front of her and, taking hold of her chin, forced her face back round. Her eyes probed, delved into those of her daughter, trying to read in them the truth. She wrinkled her nose as though she could smell the physical contact. She knew.

‘You did, didn’t you?’ she asked in shocked disbelief. ‘Were you with a man? Answer me!’

With a pain in her heart almost too heavy to bear and tears not far away, Delphine nodded, unable to stop herself from telling her mother every sordid detail of what had happened to her. In the telling, she remembered when Lord Fitzwaring had taken her a second time, how she had stilled, knowing the struggle was over. He was the victor—though against a smaller opponent. She had known the relief of it, and in doing so had become aware of the smooth firmness of his flesh, his perfect body above hers, the strange attraction she felt for him and her own insatiable desire.

The end of tension from the struggle had given her a strange physical thrill. She’d realised with horror that despite her rigid self-control during visits to the bordello, she could fall prey to sensual delight as easily as the woman she had observed making love to a stranger; she had understood in that instant that men and women were drawn to each other for the sensations they could enjoy. If a man or woman found delight in the sensations, this was part of the way they had been created, part of nature’s law, and could not therefore be considered unnatural. But her mother would not see it that way.

Lady Cameron listened in horror to the words that tumbled from her daughter’s mouth. For a moment, only utter shock and uncertainty registered on her face. Then her eyes began to gleam as they had done on the day her eldest daughter had married Lord Rundell and her whole expression changed, leaving her face blank, but decisive. Behind the mask of dignified respectability, the ambitious mother had taken over, greedy for her children and determined both to avoid a scandal and to make the best out of an intolerable situation.

‘The man is a colonel, you say, in Wellington’s army. What else? Is he rich? Titled? What?’

‘He is Lord—Lord Stephen Fitzwaring. That is all I know about him.’

‘Your behaviour was reckless and totally irresponsible. Now you must pay the price. He will have to marry you, of course—and he will, if he is a gentleman, which I am beginning to doubt.’

Delphine had never seen her mother’s face as it was then. Her eyes were hard, looking through Delphine as if she were a whore rather than her own daughter. Her eyes dropped to Delphine’s waist and then back to her face.

‘What if there is a child? Have you considered that?’

A cold, dreadful shock seized Delphine’s every nerve and the blood drained from her face. In her innocence she had not thought of this; lying beneath Colonel Fitzwaring, she had not considered the full consequences of his act.

When Delphine opened her mouth to speak, her mother held up her hand, quivering with fury and indignation. ‘Be quiet. What you have done is nothing short of wicked. It pains me to say it, you—you Jezebel. I shudder to think how your father will react to this. You are a disgrace.’

John Cameron was a short, stocky man of Scottish descent, with whitening tawny hair and a temper that was easily roused. He was summoned right away and when he’d heard what his wife had to say, his anger was like an explosion.

‘I always knew no good would come of your visiting that orphanage—however good your intentions. No,’ he blustered, red to the ears and puffing out his barrel chest, ‘you’ve made your bed. Lie on it. You are absolutely ruined unless the man marries you. You do realise that, don’t you, Delphine?’

She straightened up and looked directly at her father. ‘I have made a mistake, a grievous and awful mistake, and I will have to live with the consequences—but marriage?’

‘Absolutely. Thank God the man’s credentials are fitting.’

‘He won’t marry me.’

‘We’ll see about that. If Fitzwaring thinks he can ruin my good name by seducing one of my daughters and then go flitting off back to Spain, he is grievously mistaken. He’ll pay for it; I’ll make damned sure of that.’

Helplessness, bleak as the grave, descended on Delphine, but she was powerless to speak, powerless to stand against the combined forces of her parents when their minds were made up.

Two days later her father summoned her. Fully expecting another scolding, she proceeded to her father’s study, patting her hair into place. He was standing with his back to the fireplace.

‘Come in, Delphine.’ He nodded towards the tall man looking out of the window with his back to her. With his feet planted firmly apart, his hands behind his back, attired in his military uniform of scarlet jacket and white trousers, he stood stiff and unyielding. ‘You are already acquainted with Colonel Fitzwaring, of course.’

Delphine’s heart gave a fearful leap. Her initial surprise at her father’s summons was stirred into a sudden tumult of emotions by Colonel Fitzwaring’s presence. He turned and looked at her with those incredible midnight-blue eyes of his. The glare of his red jacket hurt her eyes; for one wild, unreasoning moment her life flared into vivid, lively colour, her familiar surroundings fading away into the background. She was conscious of an unwilling excitement. In fact, much to her annoyance, she was very much aware of everything about him—the long, strong lines of his body, the skin above the jacket, tanned and healthy—and she was surprised to see faint lines of weariness on his face.

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