Lindsay McKenna - Never Surrender

Nodding, he understood. “Is this about your Grandma’s dress you want to wear?” A UPS box sent by her mother, Poppy, had arrived the third day she’d been with him. Inside the box was a long, cream-colored lacy wedding dress her grandmother had worn. Bay fiercely loved her Grandmother Lilac. He remembered watching tears come to Bay’s eyes as she’d gently removed the old but beautiful dress from the box. The sadness in her eyes over the loss of her grandmother had touched him. Lilac had died when she was seventeen years old. Bay had wanted to wear her grandmother’s dress for their wedding. Gabe wished his family had had that same closeness.

Bay stirred, kissed the damp column of his neck. “Mmm, yes. Do you mind?”

“Of course not,” he whispered, moving his fingers through the soft strands of her curly hair. “I want you happy, baby. I want you to plan that wedding at your mother’s cabin.”

She smiled a little, nuzzling his jaw and placing a slow kiss to his sandpapery flesh. Her body glowed hot, and her womb felt as if it contained deep, simmering coals. Pleasurable, subtle heat was still radiating throughout her. Bay couldn’t get enough of Gabe. She moved her hips, watching his length already hardening once more. He was so incredibly masculine, so incredibly tender with her, making her body sing. Her mouth was dry, and she swallowed. “I already promised Grace and Mama that we’d work out all the details in emails. Mama has Skype, so I can talk to her directly sometimes, when I can.”

“Good,” he murmured, inhaling her womanly scent, the fragrance that was only her. Bay fed his soul. Gabe knew she wanted to take part in the wedding plans, no matter if she was in Afghanistan or not. He cupped her shoulder and looked deeply into her eyes. “Listen, you can’t give yourself away over there this time, Bay. When you were with our team, I finally realized you were burning the candle at both ends, working seventeen hours a day helping others medically. It was taking a toll on you, baby.”

Bay felt so utterly satisfied. Closing her eyes, she sensed sleep stalking her again. A good kind of lethargy after a great lovemaking session. “I know...”

“Promise me that you will give yourself the time you need?”

“Yes, I promise, Gabe....”

His dark brows moved downward. “Bay, this is important. You can’t give yourself away over there this time. You’re a damned good combat medic, but you’re human and you need downtime, rest and plenty of sleep. Please?”

Hearing the urgency, the concern in his deep voice washing across her, she whispered, “I want to come home to you, Gabe. I’m not going to do anything stupid like I did when we were at Camp Bravo the last year. I learned my lesson, my beloved.”

My beloved. Every time she whispered that endearment to him, Gabe felt it go straight to his wounded heart. And every time, it healed another piece of him. Kissing her damp brow, her hair utterly mussed and beautiful around her face, he said, “Okay. I’m taking you at your word.”

“You worry too much,” Bay slurred, feeling sleep enfold her. “I want to come home to you. You’re my life, Gabe. Believe that if you don’t believe anything else.”

* * *

“I’VE GOT TO LEAVE,” Bay whispered, choking on the words, holding on to Gabe’s strong, scarred fingers. She stood near Security at the airport, her ruck over her shoulder, dressed in her Navy blue cammies. It hurt to look in his eyes, his SEAL mask well in place, no hint of emotion anywhere in his expression. Bay knew better. Her body radiated hotly beneath his stormy look, felt it in the tenderness of his fingers as he rubbed them against her own.

They had slept in one another’s arms, woken up, loved one another again with a desperation that chased reality away for just a few hours longer. And this morning, at dawn, the sun barely edging the Pacific Ocean, he’d made hard, swift passionate love with her one last time. Feeling exhausted in a good kind of way, Bay managed a sweet smile as she tugged at Gabe’s fingers, silently asking him to release her. For an instant, she saw the fear, the anxiety in his expression, no matter how hard he tried to hide it from her.

As she turned, Bay raised her hand and placed it against his jaw, sought the hard line of his mouth, kissed him with everything she had. She felt consumed within the powerful curve of his descending mouth, his strong arms coming around her this one, last time. Heart pounding, tears in her eyes, Bay could barely control her wildly fluctuating emotions. She didn’t want to leave Gabe. But she had to.

Gabe reluctantly released her mouth, both of them breathing hard. God, he had to let her go. He had to release Bay from his grip. Gabe was peripherally aware of people turning, watching them. He could give a damn about them. Was their loved one going into combat where a bullet could sever her life in a heartbeat? Hell, no! He swallowed hard, anger warring with his love for Bay, the lump large and painful in his throat. He couldn’t stop looking at her, for fear she’d disappear too soon. He loved her silently in those few seconds between them. Her smile for him was so loving and innocent that it staggered Gabe. Her smile filled him with love, and it pumped hope through his heart that ached with real fear for her safety. And then...Gabe released her soft, long fingers from his...one last touch...one last time....

Oh, God...

Bay turned away. If she didn’t, Gabe would see her tears. And she knew with great certainty, it would tear him apart. No, she couldn’t let Gabe see her like this. Fighting herself, Bay gulped and moved into the Security line, quickly swallowed up by other passengers crowding in behind her. She could feel his eyes on her back, feel his love encircling her. It was crazy, but she could feel it as easily as she felt her breath raggedly drawing in and out of her lungs.

Only when she’d passed through Security, did Bay get a hold of herself enough to turn and look back at him. Gabe stood alone now, his hands at his sides. He wore a dark blue T-shirt that showed off his powerfully lean upper body, his jeans barely hiding how sexual and sensual he was to her. His face... Oh, Lord, his face was so hard. She understood he had to be that way or he’d break down, too. Lifting her hand, she touched her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss. It was all she could do, now separated and unable to run back into one another’s arms.

Bay saw Gabe lift his hand in acknowledgement and then gave her a hand signal they’d created between themselves. He lifted his hand, placed it over his heart and then extended his hand outward toward her. A deep love welled up through her, giving her strength at the last minute. She repeated that silent hand signal back to him and then watched as his hard expression dissolved into a slow, male smile filled with so much heat and love for her. She was his. Gabe owned her heart and soul, and he knew it. And so did she.

Turning on her boot, Bay walked down the long corridor that would take her by commercial flight to Seattle Sea-Tac International Airport. From there, she’d hop an Air Force C-5 going across The Pond, the Pacific. They’d stop in Hawaii, refuel and then fly to Bagram Air Base near Kabul, Afghanistan. And then, she’d find a medevac or Black Hawk heading out to Camp Bravo, hitch a ride and find her Special Forces team that she’d join.

As she forced herself to walk away, put space between Gabe and herself, Bay touched a leather thong around her neck, hidden beneath her cammie blouse. Gabe had fashioned a small sterling silver ring on the top of the jaguar’s back. He’d strung a fine, thin piece of sturdy leather so she could wear it around her neck while in Afghanistan. The jaguar lay over her heart.

A fist of serrating grief shoved up through her, and her throat tightened painfully. Head down, Bay tried to hide the tears that fell out of her eyes and down her taut, pale cheeks. At least, Gabe had not seen her cry this time...