Judy Duarte - Big Sky Baby

The door to the back offices opened, and a dark-haired, matronly nurse held a file close to her chest and stood in the doorway. “Jilly Davis?”

Too late to cancel now, she supposed. After placing the magazine she’d been reading on the table, she stood and followed the nurse down the hall that led to the examining rooms.

“Will you step on the scale, please?”

“Sure. Mind if I slip off my shoes first?” she asked. Maybe take off my watch and my ring, shave my legs?

Sheesh. Jilly knew her weight was up. She couldn’t button her pants anymore and even her bras were snug. She’d tried to diet, but every time she turned around, she had the nervous munchies. She’d blamed her food cravings on stress, following her breakup with Cain.

“Not too bad,” the heavyset nurse said. “Only five pounds up from last winter, when you came in for your yearly pap smear.”

“Five pounds a year can add up,” Jilly said. “I’m not happy about the weight gain, since most of it’s in my torso. I’m feeling a lot like Humpty-Dumpty.”

The nurse smiled. “I know what you mean.”

Jilly supposed the plump woman did. As she was led to the small examining room, she did a little math.

Wow. If she gained five pounds a year, by the time she was thirty-three, she’d be fifty pounds over-weight. This eating spree had to stop.

When they reached exam room three, Jilly expected to have to strip down and put on the stupid gown that opened down the back. Fortunately, she wasn’t asked to undress.

As she sat on the edge of the paper-lined examining table, the nurse took her blood pressure. At least that wasn’t up.

While the woman made notes on the chart, Jilly unhooked the button on her pants and rubbed the reddened indenture the waistband had made. Gosh, she hoped it wasn’t a tumor or something like that. Maybe she was just getting fat and sassy and needed to take up jogging.

“Dr. Holmes will be right with you,” the woman said, leaving Jilly to wait in the stark room and worry about her health.

Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long. Dr. Holmes, a tall, pretty woman with golden-brown hair entered the exam room, holding Jilly’s chart. “Good afternoon. What seems to be the trouble?”

“It’s probably nothing,” Jilly said, “but I’ve been feeling kind of weird lately.”

“How so?” the doctor asked.

“I’ve been tired. And I’ve gained weight. My breasts have been swollen and tender, although they’re feeling better now. A while back, I had some intestinal flu symptoms. At the time, I didn’t worry much about it because I tend to get a nervous stomach, and I’d been going through a stressful period back then.” Jilly shrugged. “Like I said, it’s probably nothing.”

“When was your last period?”

Huh? Her last period? Well, she wasn’t really sure. She tried to conjure a mental calendar to no avail.

“About a month ago, I think. It was pretty light.” She looked at the doctor, hoping the woman would understand why she had never bothered to count the days. “My periods are really irregular. Sometimes they’re kind of light and scanty, other times heavy. I guess I should keep better track of them, but since they’re so hard to predict, it doesn’t seem to matter.”

“Could you be pregnant?”

“Pregnant?” Jilly nearly fell off the examining table. “I don’t think so.”

She and Cain had broken up two months ago. And they’d always used condoms. In fact, she’d been so careful and obsessive about contraception that she couldn’t possibly be pregnant.

Just the thought of being an unwed mother scared the willies out of her.

Not that she didn’t want a baby, but she had her life on track right now, and she was aiming toward pillar-of-the-community status. Having a baby out of wedlock would set her back big-time—back to the Davis family values she’d tried hard to break free of and surpass.

“It’s possible to be pregnant and still have a scanty period,” Dr. Holmes said. “I’ll step out of the room while you undress. Then, after I examine you, I’ll have a better idea of what’s going on.”

A few minutes later Jilly lay on the small table, her feet in the stirrups and her head spinning wildly. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t.

Stress altered menstrual cycles, too, she reminded herself. And Cain had certainly caused her a ton of stress. This all seemed to be his fault.

Of course, it was her fault, too.

Why couldn’t she be attracted to a decent guy, one who could make a commitment and be a family man?

“Well,” Dr. Holmes said, letting out a soft sigh and smiling. “You’re definitely pregnant. About four months, according to my estimate. I’m going to order some lab work, and an ultrasound.”

Four months pregnant? It was nearly too much for Jilly to take in.

But she could add. And that meant in five months she was going to be a mother.

An unwed mother.

Her heart sank. There went all her plans and dreams. She wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother, to have the respectability her parents hadn’t been able to provide her. But that plan required marriage first, then a baby.

Again, she had the overwhelming urge to lash out and blame a certain good-looking fireman. Her life had been all nice and tidy until sweet-talkin’ Cain came sauntering into her shop and turned her world upside down. And now she was having his baby.

She doubted he’d be happy to hear the news, especially since he’d made it clear that he didn’t particularly like kids. The whole darn mess seemed to crash down upon her, until she came up with an option she hadn’t realized she had.

Maybe Cain didn’t need to know about the baby.

She could keep the paternity of her baby a secret, and if Cain suspected the child was his, he wouldn’t utter a word. Not if it meant he’d be liable for child support. A footloose guy like that didn’t want any strings to tie him down. Or so he’d made it clear the one time she’d pressed him for a commitment.

“I’m not the marrying kind, babe,” Cain had said.

Well, that was fine with her. Jilly couldn’t imagine being married to a lying womanizer like him.

She glanced at Dr. Holmes, wondering if she had any advice or a magical potion to make Jilly’s life fall into place.

“I’d like you to start taking prenatal vitamins.” The doctor pulled a notepad out of the pocket of her lab coat and began to write. “I’ll jot down the name of the brand I’d prefer you buy. The sooner you start taking them the better.”

“All right,” Jilly said, taking the sheet of paper the doctor handed her. She was glad to have a note, something in writing, otherwise, she might forget the brand altogether.

“Do you have any questions or concerns?”

Questions or concerns? Heck, she had a ton of them, but they slipped around inside her head like the spinning fruit and numbers on a slot machine, and she had no idea which question would pop out first.

“I’m scared, Dr. Holmes. And confused. I don’t even know…” Tears welled up in her eyes, and her tongue turned to mush.

The doctor snatched a tissue from the countertop, handed it to Jilly and slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Why don’t you make an appointment to come back in and see me later this week, when you’ve had a chance to think about things. We can talk about options.”

“Options?”

“Well, you don’t have to keep the baby.”

Give her baby up?

No way.

Jilly didn’t need to hear any options. Her pregnancy might be totally unplanned, but this was her baby. It wasn’t the poor kid’s fault its mommy made a big mistake in the daddy-picking process.

“I don’t need to think about options, Doctor, but I would like to talk to you about…stuff.” Jilly swiped the tissue under her eyes. It was times like this that she really missed having a mother, although she hadn’t been able to depend upon her mom when she’d been alive. But the fact was, Jilly didn’t have anyone, not a sister or even a real girlfriend—the kind that kept secrets and didn’t blab them all over town. “I don’t have a clue what to expect. And I’m nervous.”