Ellen James - Christmas Babies

C.J. tossed the prospectus toward her assistant; the woman turned out to be a good catch.

“I’ll look the figures over again as a personal favor. But I wouldn’t get my hopes up, Bryan, if I were you.”

“Message received,” he said. “I won’t hold my breath waiting for your call.”

She treated him to another of her challenging looks. “Oh, I will call you,” she said. Was she actually flirting with him? Then she rose from her chair and swirled out of the restaurant, assistant in her wake.

Bryan finished his beer, paid the tab and wandered outside. Old Town was best at night like this, the ancient adobe buildings mellow in the golden spill of lanterns. He paused at the tiled fountain in the plaza where passersby tossed their coins for wishes and good luck. The flute music still played from somewhere just out of sight…wistful, restless. Reminding Bryan of Danni Ferris all over again.

When he let himself into his apartment a short time later, the phone was ringing. He picked it up, said hello, and heard her voice. It was oddly subdued.

“Hello, Bryan. I…can’t make it tonight, after all. I’m sorry.”

“What gives, Danni?” He seemed to say that to her a lot.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. And then, all in a rush she continued, “I was supposed to tell you something tonight. But I chickened out. I know that as soon as I tell you…you’ll despise me. And I don’t think I can bear it.”

She had a habit of speaking in riddles. “Come over,” he said. “We’ll talk it out. Nothing can be as bad as you make it sound.”

She was quiet at that, so quiet he almost thought he’d lost the connection.

“Danni,” he asked, “still there?”

“Yes,” she said, her voice low. She paused again. “Bryan what made you show up at my office last night?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“And when you saw me,” she continued, “didn’t anything seem strange to you? Didn’t anything seem different?”

He couldn’t figure out where she was headed. “You seemed,” he said honestly, “more beautiful than ever.”

If he thought he was going to flatter her, he was wrong. The silence on the other end of the line was now potent.

“Danni—”

“Goodbye, Bryan. I can’t see you anymore.” She hung up abruptly, without another word.

He gazed thoughtfully at the phone and then he, too, hung up. “What the hell was that all about?” he muttered.

DANNI FOUND HER SISTER kneeling in the garden, digging up bulbs. Kristine wielded her spade with rather more force than necessary, the rich dark earth building up around her and the poor bulbs tossed aside unceremoniously.

“Didn’t you and Ted plant those together?” Danni asked. “The first year you were married.”

Kristine pushed aside a strand of hair, leaving a dirt smudge on her face. “I’m sick of these damn tulips,” she muttered.

“Kris, you always loved those flowers.”

“It’s time for a change.” Another bulb went flying. “Why, it’s almost Thanksgiving. And then Christmas…and then a brand-new year. A perfect time to completely overhaul my life.”

Danni knelt beside her sister. “Kris—talk to me.”

Kristine ducked her head, the blond hair falling forward again to obscure her face. “No doubt you want to know every little fact about last night. You want to know all about how I confessed to Bryan, and what he said in return, and…and every humiliating detail.”

Danni regarded her sister. “I would like to know that it’s taken care of at last.”

Kristine didn’t even seem to be listening. “Can you imagine what it’s like, Danni? To have a husband who no longer wants you.”

“From what I saw yesterday on the golf course,” she said, “you and Ted may still have a lot to work out. But he still cares about you a great deal. No one could get that angry, and not care.”

“You don’t know, Danni. You don’t know what a man can do to make you feel…completely undesirable. Completely unwanted. After that, there’s not much he can do to convince you otherwise.”

“Kris, what happened? What did Ted do to make you feel this way?”

“I can’t talk about it,” Kristine said, gripping her spade. “I just can’t. I can’t say it out loud…don’t ask me to, Danni.”

Danni had never seen her sister like this. Kristine had been many things in her life—impetuous, thoughtless, self-centered…extravagantly penitent when she realized she’d strained the limits of a friendship. But she had never been this way—so despairing, and so unsure of herself.

“Kris, if you’d only talk to me,” Danni said gently. “Maybe I can help—”

The spade was digging again. “Don’t even try, Danni. All you really want to know right now is what happened with Bryan. Well…I’ll tell you.” She sounded defiant, her words recklessly gathering speed. “I went to meet Bryan last night, and I told him the whole sorry situation. I told him how I’d pretended to be you, and how you hadn’t known anything about it until it was too late. I asked him not to blame you at least. But he wouldn’t listen. He told me…he told me he was disgusted with both of us, and he never wanted to see either one of us again!”

DANNI JUST KNEW it was going to be a lousy Thanksgiving. Of course, that was a safe bet—Thanksgiving at her parents’ house always turned out to be a dismal failure. Every year her mother and father tried a different combination of guests. And every year the result was the same: discreet yawns, embarrassed excuses for leaving early. Of course, Jay and Leah Ferris would never admit that their get-togethers were…well, boring.

Now Danni stood on her parents’ front porch, balancing her usual offerings of sweet-potato casserole and mushroom-sage stuffing. Her mother swung open the door and gave her a hug that almost upended the sweet potatoes. If nothing else, Danni could count on an enthusiastic greeting. She knew she was the success story of the family, the one who had fulfilled all her parents’ expectations. They didn’t even mind that she was thirty and still unmarried. Plenty of time for that later, they always told her. Solidify your career before slowing yourself down with a family.

Leah ushered Danni inside. “Thank goodness you’re finally here. When I found out Kristine and Ted couldn’t make it—”

“Kristine isn’t here?”

“Darling, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Apparently they’ve had some sort of…altercation. Ted flew out to be with his family in Sacramento, and Kristine simply refused to say where she’d be.”

Danni felt a letdown. No matter how angry she got at her sister, she always counted on Kristine to be at family functions. It was the one thing that made these occasions bearable.

Now Danni went with her mother to the kitchen, and set down both casserole dishes.

“Are you all right?” her mother asked with a worried frown. “You don’t seem very chipper.”

At times her mother could be quite observant although her quaint terms often irritated Danni. This time, however, Danni had to admit she did not feel chipper. Ever since those few days ago, when she’d learned that Bryan never wanted to see her again…it had put a damper on her enthusiasm. Regret and sadness would wash over her at the most inconvenient times.

“I’m fine, Mom,” she said with an effort.

“Everything going okay at work?”

Danni had a wild urge to lie—to say that she’d walked out on her advertising job and that she’d decided to become a full-time carpenter. She didn’t say anything, though. She just busied herself at the sink, rinsing the lettuce for the salad. Her mother gave her a sharp look, but then hurried out to the living room to try entertaining her guests.