Mary Anne Wilson - Holiday Homecoming

He drove along the snow-lined streets at a snail’s pace. The town was overrun with the influx of skiers and with businesses catering to their needs. There were upscale restaurants, convenience stores, boutiques and supply stores that held every sort of ski product you could imagine. When he’d been here years ago, skiing had been a sport you did, usually on raw runs that you cut yourself. Now skiers lined up at the lifts, bought tickets and skied where they were told to ski.

In the old-town section, he glanced at the buildings that had been refurbished and repurposed into boutiques, ski supply places, coffee shops and souvenir corners. A few held to their origins, like Rusty’s Diner on the east side of the street, a plain place with good food and still managed by Rusty himself. Rollie’s Garage, the same garage that Rollie Senior had operated years ago was still there, now run by his son. On a side street he saw the original police station, where Joshua’s father had been sheriff all those years ago.

Although he now knew where he was going, he hadn’t realized it until that moment he saw Eureka Street. He slowed to a crawl when he approached the only building to the right. The old, two-story brick structure appeared the same, pretty much how it had when he’d been a sixteen-year-old sneaking out at dawn on a day as cold and snowy as this one.

He felt drawn back into the past, and despite the painfully new sign above the double-door entry, Silver Creek Medical Clinic, he could have been a kid again. Back then the sign over the doors had read Silver Creek Children’s Shelter—a euphemism for orphanage. He pulled onto the half-circle drive that ran past the entry. Snow was piled high on either side, but a section had been cleared to make it easy for anyone to get to the doors.

He stared at the building for a long moment, at the lights spilling out the bottom windows onto the snow and the deep shadows on either side. The place looked old and dark, the way it always had, and he barely controlled a sudden shudder. He’d thought he’d go in and find Gordie, but now he decided against it. He’d didn’t want to step onto the green tiled floors or hear the empty echo that seemed to always be in the old building. He’d see Gordie at the Inn.

He meant to drive out to the street, then go back to the Inn, but he found himself stopping at the end of the drive and looking at the school directly across the street from the clinic. His gaze skimmed the old brick building, the Christmas decorations in the tall, narrow windows of the bottom floor and two huge wreaths on the double front doors at the top of recently cleared concrete steps. The only change was the fairly new six-foot-high chain-link fence that enclosed the whole area, including the parking lot. The lot’s double gates were open, and a snowplow sat idly nearby. A fraction of the lot had been cleared before whoever drove the plow had stopped for the day.

Cain went straight across the street, through the open gates and onto the asphalt parking area. He passed the still plow and slipped into one of the few cleared parking slots, one of five or six fronted by blue signs designating the user. He felt a hint of a smile when he chose the one marked “Reserved for the Principal” instead of the one marked “Reserved for the Librarian.”

Over the school’s main doors a banner rippled in the wind, proclaiming CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL, DEC. 24, 7:00 P.M. They’d had Christmas programs when he’d been there, but he’d never had anyone to come and see him. After the concert he got the candy canes the town Santa handed out. Everyone had known the Santa was Charlie Sloan’s dad, a cop at the police station. But they’d all pretended to be excited and believe he was the Santa.

Cain hadn’t bothered with the make-believe. He’d taken what he could, then gone back to the orphanage, to wake up on Christmas morning to a neatly wrapped present that had always held clothes some well-meaning town person had donated to the orphanage. He hadn’t expected much else. It had simply been his life. Just as his life now was his life. But now it was all up to him to get what he wanted, instead of waiting for some Good Samaritan to give the “poor orphan” something he needed.

He hadn’t had the desire to go into the clinic moments earlier, but now he found himself getting out of his car to go into the school. Snow was starting to fall softly from the gray heavens, and it brushed his face. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket as he went toward the entry and took the steps in a single stride.

He pushed against the heavy wood-and-glass doors, but the door was locked tight. He cupped his hands on the cold glass and leaned to peer inside. Security lights showed the expansive center hallway. Lockers lined both sides of the walls, and the same highly polished tiles were still on the floor. Christmas was everywhere, from the paper garlands looping high on the walls to the Christmas tree, done in red, green, silver and gold, just inside the door.

He could almost see the kids in the hallway, the bustle of life, back then. He could remember the smell of new books and new pencils, the shouts of friends heard above the daily announcements blaring over the loudspeakers. Then that was gone, and all he felt was an emptiness that was almost tangible to him. He pulled back from the door, ready to leave. But as he turned to go, he saw a small blue car turn into the parking area, disappear behind the large plow for a moment, then come back into view as it pulled into the slot he’d forgone, the one for the librarian.

The windows in the car were partially fogged up, but he could make out a single occupant. The motor stopped, the door opened and he found himself looking at the woman from the elevator. She stepped out into the cold, and glanced up at him, her forehead tugged into a frown under her bright yellow knit cap.

“You,” she said, her breath curling into the cold air, the single word sounding like an accusation.

He wasn’t an egotist, but most women didn’t study him as if he were an insect. At that moment, this woman was regarding him with the same contempt she’d shown earlier. At least, he thought that was the expression on her face as she hurried over to the stairs and came up quickly to stand one step below him. She was just as tiny as he remembered. Now, standing on the step above her as he was, he towered over her by at least a foot.

She tilted her face up, and he saw tendrils of her brilliant hair that had escaped her yellow knit cap clinging to her temple and her cheek. Her amber eyes were narrowed on him as if she didn’t like what she saw, and her voice was brusque when she asked, “What are you doing here?”

He found himself forcing a smile, but there was no humor in him at all. “I’m going to blow the place up,” he said with heavy sarcasm. “How about you?”

Red suddenly dotted her cheeks and her expression tightened even more. She exhaled in a rush. “You don’t belong here.”

He wouldn’t argue with that. He never had belonged here. Not here, not anywhere. “I went to this school back in the Stone Age, and I was just looking around.”

“For old times’ sake?” she muttered.

He shrugged. That was as good an explanation as any he could come up with at the moment. “Sure, old times’ sake.” He hadn’t meant to be sarcastic then, but he was. He glanced down, and saw a ring of keys in her gloved hand. “What are you doing here with keys?”

“I work here. I teach second grade, or I will be teaching second grade when school’s back in session after the holidays.”

A teacher? He never had a teacher like her when he was here. “Well, I won’t keep you,” he murmured, and went down the stairs.

He couldn’t tell if he heard her say “Goodbye” as he walked away, but he heard the door open, then close, followed by the sound of a lock being set. As he got in his car and settled behind the wheel, he realized he didn’t even know her name. He’d never asked. He glanced back at the school and was taken aback to see the woman with no name looking out the glass top of the door at him. And the woman with no name wasn’t smiling.