Karen Templeton - Playing For Keeps

“I do not need my love life jump-started—”

“Good. You’ve got tea,” Karleen said, hauling a plastic pitcher off the top shelf. “And don’t be ridiculous, of course you do.”

“Not today, I don’t. I’ve got a party to give later, remember?”

The tea poured into a pair of plastic tumblers, Karleen gave her a bemused look. “You’ve never heard of multitasking? So what d’you have they could munch on? Cookies or cake or something?” She threw open another cabinet and grimaced at the array of Little Debbie boxes. “What kind of domestic goddess are you, anyway?”

“The kind that doesn’t have time to bake. Kar, I really don’t think—”

“That’s right, sweetie,” she said, arranging a selection of the goodies on a plate. “You just sit back and let little old Karleen do the thinking for once, ’kay?”

“The last time I let you do the thinking for both of us, I ended up grounded for a month.”

“Which is the number one perk of being a grown-up, honey. Nobody’s gonna ground you this time.” The cups balanced on the plate with the treats, she elbowed open the patio door leading out back, then turned and did the famous Karleen Almquist I-dare-you smile and said in the famous Karleen Almquist wispy little what-me?-get-you-in-trouble? voice, “You coming? Or you conceding this one to me?”

Joanna told herself she was only following so she’d be sure to get her plate and tumblers back.

“Hey, boss. Looks like we got company.”

At Jose’s heads up, Dale squinted over the yellow plastic slide he was bolting into place to see a pleasantly bosomy blonde in high-heeled boots mincing across the lawn toward them, having a devil of a time hanging on to that plate in her hands. Joanna followed, looking none too pleased about whatever was going on. When the women were still several feet away, one of the cats—Dale had long since given up trying to figure out how many there were—decided now would be a good time to launch himself against the blonde’s ankles.

“For God’s sake, Jo,” the blonde said, wobbling for a second, the plate in a death grip, “call it off!”

Jo let out a single sharp “Git!” and the thing booked it. For about two seconds. But long enough for Blondie to scoot the rest of the way across the yard, grinning that careful way women did who were deathly afraid of wrinkles.

“Thought you boys might like some tea and a snack,” she said, then seemed to realize there really wasn’t any place to set down the plate. Jose took it from her; her hand shot out toward Dale as if sprung from prison. “Karleen Almquist,” she cooed. “Joanna’s best friend.”

“I told her you’d brought your own water,” Joanna, who clearly did not worry about laugh lines and such, put in. And Dale made a snap decision to take advantage of an unexpected opportunity.

“Ah, but nothin’ beats a tall glass of ice-cold tea,” he said, taking one of the tumblers and turning his smile on Karleen, who was doing her damnedest not to look awestruck. He knew it wasn’t fair, or right, to judge a person by appearances, but how many women like her had he run into over the course of the past several years? Pretty women who deep down didn’t trust that they really were, who never really believed their God-given attributes were sufficient unto themselves, who measured success by whether or not men found them attractive.

Women who seemed to forget that the flower never had to chase the bee.

Deliberately, Dale let his gaze sidle over to Joanna for a moment—who, as far as flowers went, was probably more like a Venus’s-flytrap—before returning it to her friend. “Thank you, Karleen,” he said, taking great pains not to cross the thin line between being polite and flirting, trusting that Karleen would know the difference. And that Joanna, who was discussing the play set with Jose, wouldn’t.

Of course, since she didn’t seem the least bit interested in what was going on, it would appear he was wasting his efforts. A realization that annoyed him far more than it should have. So he inched a hair closer to flirting with Karleen, resurrecting one or two old lines he used to be able to count on to make a gal laugh, all the while keeping one eye on Joanna. And Karleen did indeed giggle when she was supposed to, although not in quite as airheaded a manner as he might have expected, and her smile really was very nice and her eyes really were very pretty and her perfume wasn’t the kind that could knock a man over. So, all in all, he should have been enjoying himself.

Except the longer Dale stood there, drinking his tea and eating the little cakes and chatting up this pretty woman he didn’t want to be chatting up while the flat-chested, haywire-haired woman he did want to chat up seemed hell-bent on ignoring him, the more annoyed he got. By the time Joanna turned to him and asked how much longer he thought they’d be, he was startled to find himself next door to mad.

Not that he had any right to be. After all, he was just playin’ around.

“What do you think, Jose?” he said. “Another half hour, maybe?”

The older man nodded his agreement. “Good,” Joanna said. “I’ll call Bobby, let him know when to bring back the kids.” Then she took their empty tea glasses, stacking them inside each other, said, “Let’s not keep the guys from their work,” to Karleen, and started back toward the house, giving the blonde no choice but to call, “Nice to meet you!” over her shoulder as she went.

Leaving Dale feeling like he’d just been issued a challenge.

One he had absolutely no business accepting.

“You are hopeless!” Karleen said the minute they were back inside. “Would another couple of minutes have killed you?”

Joanna shoved the patio door shut and marched her little overwrought self across the kitchen. “I never said I was playing along. Beside, I’ve got a party to set up,” she said, yanking out bags of Bob the Builder plates and cups she’d stashed in the cupboard where she kept the extraneous kitchen crap she’d accumulated over the years. “I’ve got no time to waste standing around watching the man slobber all over you. Especially as I’ve seen that act before.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“What? That I’ve never seen men drool over you? Not that it bothers me, I’m certainly used to it after all these years—”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Karleen grabbed a package of plates from her and attacked the plastic wrapping like a lion gutting a wildebeest. “Whose benefit did you think that was for? It wasn’t my attention he was trying to get, you idiot!”

For the tiniest sliver of a second, something totally insane and irrational—hope, maybe?—shoved aside the annoyance that was even more insane and irrational. “You know, you really need to start eating more. I hear the brain’s the first thing to go.”

Karleen grinned. “Somebody’s pi-issed.”

“I’d have to care to be pissed. Since I don’t—” she ripped open one of the other packages of plates and slammed them onto the counter “—I’m not. And wipe that smirk off your face.”

“Jo, Jo, Jo…don’t you know that flirting with one woman in order to make the other one jealous is the oldest trick in the book? How many of these suckers you want opened?”

“All of them. Okay…just for the sake of argument, let’s say that’s what he was doing—”

“Aha!”

“That was hardly worth an aha. Especially as I was about to point out this oh-so-mature behavior would attract me why?”

“Because he’s hot, he’s giving out all the right signals—”

“To you,” Joanna pointed out, unwrapping napkins.

“—and you’re deprived. And I told you, the flirting with me business was just a ruse. Since you had your back to him the entire time, you couldn’t see that he kept looking over to see if you were reacting.”