Lauren Dane - Broken Open

“I didn’t have to be. Your bedroom was next to mine. I heard how things were going.” Natalie winked.

It had been a really long time since they’d shared like this. It felt nice and Tuesday realized she’d missed it. “Yes. He asked me if I was coming tonight. He invited me to his house afterward. Obviously for sex.”

“Did you like it? That he’s interested?”

“Oh my god. Are you going to keep this up?”

Natalie laughed really hard and then nodded. “You did it to me with Paddy.” She sobered and looked at Tuesday. “I know it’s not the same. But I also know it’s not what you’ve been doing, either. Are you scared?”

It hurt to breathe for just a moment and panic raced through her system until Natalie took her wrist. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just...it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

“I know I need to let it happen. Or stop it. Or not think about it. Or maybe think more about it. I guess I don’t know what to do and...”

“And you’re not used to admitting maybe you don’t know what to do. Because you’re so fierce and strong and awesome that you don’t know how to let yourself be a little weak.”

“Please. I fucked around for eighteen months after Eric died. I was nothing but weak. Fluttering around in the breeze.” Running from a truth she did not want to accept.

Natalie’s softness hardened up immediately. “You stop. Right now. You had less than ninety days to go from learning he had cancer to burying him. So you took a little while to deal. So what? God, you’re so hard on yourself. It makes me mad.”

“Oh hush. You’re so full of shit. Who is hard on themselves? Hypocrite.”

“Of course I’m a hypocrite. It’s like you don’t even know me, Tues. But now that I’ve found true love and all that, I get to condescend to you. Jeez. This is outlined in the papers you signed back at the beginning of our friendship.” Natalie snickered and Tuesday tossed her napkin at Nat’s head.

Tuesday wasn’t totally sure of the words, but she needed to say them the best she could at that moment. “Please don’t make this into a big deal. That’s what I’m saying. I am trying to take this step by step. It’s new, even though we’ve been heading here for a while now. I am so freaked out that the only way I can get through at this point is to pretend it’s not anything.”

Natalie came around the table and hugged her. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I know you’re trying to help.”

Thank goodness for this. Tuesday hugged Natalie back and then let go. “We got shit to do. So let’s quit this foolishness and weeping. You and I are beyond that nonsense.”

“Okay. Fine. But I think we should seal this with doughnuts.”

“You think we should seal everything with doughnuts.”

Natalie straightened. “That’s because doughnuts are perfect for every occasion.”

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