Millie Criswell - Body Language

Ellie wasn’t certain she could speak in complete sentences without swearing.

“Could you be more specific?” she asked, unsure if her father was actually sick, as in dying, and her mother hated him for that, or if there was something else wrong, like they’d argued over money. Not an unusual occurrence. But still, her heart raced at the thought that her father might be seriously ill and hadn’t told anyone.

“I hardly know where to start, Ellie. This isn’t something I want to discuss with you over the phone. I’d rather wait and tell you in person. The shock might be too much for you. I nearly fainted when I found out.”

Rosemary’s voice cracked, and Ellie’s heart began to pound in her ears. “Dad’s got cancer, doesn’t he? He’s dying, right?” Tears filled her eyes. “Omigod! When did you find out? How long does he have to live? I’ll book a flight, and—”

“He doesn’t have cancer, but that bastard will wish he was dead when I get through with him.”

Breathing a deep sigh of relief, she tried to calm herself. It was clear that her mother was distraught for reasons known only to her and Ellie knew she needed to have patience in dealing with the distressed woman. “Calm down, and tell me what happened. You’re scaring me. And start from the beginning, okay? I’m sure whatever the matter is, we can work it out.”

“Remember how I told you that your father has been spending all of his time on the Internet, and that he didn’t want to do anything else but fiddle with his computer?”

Ellie started to get a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that no amount of Zantac could touch. “Yes,” she said cautiously. “You mentioned that the other day when we talked.”

“But what I didn’t mention was that he’s always so secretive when he’s online. He moved his computer into the spare bedroom several months ago and he stays in there for hours on end. When I complained Ted told me he was working on client accounts or getting his stock quotes updated. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I feel like such a fool.”

Ellie’s head began to hurt. This was starting to sound like a nail-in-the-coffin alert.

“Anyway, I went on the computer a little while ago, to find the cruise rates, like you suggested. Your father went to the barbershop to get his haircut, like he does every Saturday morning, so I thought it would be a good time to look for the prices and surprise him with the information when he got home.

“But I was the one who got surprised. What I found out broke my heart.” Rosemary started sobbing again. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. How could Ted do this to me? After all these years of marriage…”

“It can’t be as bad as all that, Mom. Please don’t cry.” Rosemary’s tears were as foreign to Ellie as not eating chocolate. It just didn’t happen.

Her mother sucked in her breath, blew her nose, then blurted, “Your father is having an affair! There, I said it. It wasn’t easy, but I said it.”

There was a moment of stunned silence while Ellie digested what her mother had just said. “What? What do you mean…an affair?” Surely her mother was mistaken, overwrought….

Insane?

“You know, the kind that older men have on the Internet.”

“Oh, you mean he’s been visiting porn sites?” She felt a rush of relief. That wasn’t as bad as the other, though it was still out of character for her father.

“Probably. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I think it’s called a cyberaffair. I found e-mails from another woman, some bimbo named Michelle.

“They’ve been exchanging e-mails for months, talking about sex and all sorts of disgusting, perverted things that they’d like to do to each other. And it may have gone beyond talking. But I’m not certain of that yet.”

Knowing Rosemary’s determination to get to the bottom of things, Ellie figured she would be certain, and soon.

“What I am certain of is that my life is ruined. Your father has found another woman to replace me—a younger woman would be my guess. Out with the old, in with the new, as they say. I gave that man thirty-five years—the best years of my life—and this is how I’m repaid?”

Ellie felt on the verge of puking. This couldn’t be happening. Not with her father, the man she adored—the man she respected more than anyone else in the world.

Theodore Peters had always been a straight shooter and the most honorable man on the face of the planet. Her father didn’t drink, smoke, curse, or use violence. He’d always been the perfect, loving father and, she’d thought, husband.

“You must be wrong, Mom. Maybe it’s a joke. You know, with a co-worker or someone he has business dealings with. Dad’s never done anything like this before.” She swallowed, getting the courage up to ask, “Has he?”

“No, of course not, at least, not that I know of. But just the other day he started a diet and exercise program, insisting that it was time he got into shape, and he’s never been concerned about his appearance or weight before.

“I think he’s worried about getting old and needs to prove that he’s still a man—a male menopause type of thing, if you know what I mean. I hear it’s common with men his age.”

“But you wanted Dad to lose weight; you told me so yourself when we spoke on the phone the other day. He’s probably just taking your suggestion, trying to make you happy.”

“I wish that were true, Ellie, but I don’t think so. Ted bought aftershave. Your father hasn’t worn aftershave in the thirty-five years I’ve been married to him. He said it made him sneeze. And I saw him looking at the men’s hair coloring yesterday while we were at the supermarket.”

Ellie knew the aftershave story was true because all of the Jade East, English Leather and Old Spice colognes she had given her father as a kid every Christmas still remained unopened in his medicine cabinet. She had thought it endearing that he’d kept them, in spite of his allergy.

“What did Dad say when you spoke to him about this?”

“I haven’t spoken to him about it yet. I’m not sure what I’m going to say. I only know that we’re through. I can never trust Ted again. Who knew he could be so deceitful. I always thought he was an honorable man.”

“Dad is an honorable man, Mom,” Ellie insisted. “Something is obviously very wrong, and you need to find out what. Maybe he’s got a brain tumor—that affects people in different ways.”

“How could he have a tumor? He doesn’t have a brain.”

“You’ve got to think this through rationally, after you’ve had time to digest everything. You and Dad need marriage counseling. You can’t just throw away thirty-five years and call it quits.”

“I’m not the one who needs a shrink. That would be your perverted father. He’s the one sending love letters to other women.”

Ellie sighed. “Mom…”

“What am I going to do now? I’m fifty-five years old. Who’s going to want me now?”

The hurt, fear and insecurity Ellie heard in her mother’s voice filled her with sadness and empathy. As a woman who’d been dumped by the man she loved, she could relate. As a woman who was presently without a man in her life and had none on the horizon, except for her gay trainer, but he didn’t count, she could relate.

As a woman who believed men thought primarily with the appendage dangling between their legs, she could most certainly relate!

Sucking in her breath, Ellie tried to sound calm and reasonable, though she was feeling anything but. “Mom, you’re a lovely woman, and you’re definitely not over the hill. But I don’t think you should be thinking along those lines just yet. You don’t have all the facts. You need to talk to Dad and find out what’s been going on, and for how long, who this woman is, if he’s been seeing her in person, or if it’s just an Internet type of infatuation.”