Judy Christenberry - Newborn Daddy

“Men!” the nurse exclaimed. “She just had a baby! Now, stay out of that room, or I’ll call the doctor.”

Ryan stumbled down the hallway, confused, still angry but worried. He walked by the nursery again, on the way to Beth’s room, and he stopped to look at the child that was purportedly claimed to be his.

How could that tiny form be partly his? Even when Ryan, Jr. was small, he hadn’t been that small. Or that delicate. Beautiful. Like Emma.

He cringed. He’d hidden from his behavior seven months ago when—seven months. Horrified, he took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. She’d been pregnant when she’d suggested—when she’d asked about moving in, about making a family. She’d already been pregnant.

And he’d yelled at her. Sent her away.

His mama had raised him to be a gentleman. But he hadn’t been that day. He’d enjoyed Emma’s body. He’d even admit to enjoying Emma. She was different from Merilee. His wife had been vibrant, alive, always the center of everything.

Emma was quiet, even shy at times. He’d sensed in her the same kind of wrenching loneliness he felt. He’d thought she’d understand why he wanted nothing personal, nothing permanent. But he hadn’t told her. He hadn’t been honest…but then she hadn’t asked.

When he’d savaged her after her hesitant suggestion, it had never occurred to him that she might already be pregnant. He was ashamed of what he’d done. Had even considered apologizing, but he hadn’t wanted her to hope he’d change his mind. Better for her to put him behind her and move on.

But she couldn’t.

Because she was already pregnant.

“Damn!” he muttered.

“Ryan? That you? Are you admiring my son? Isn’t he—?” His brother-in-law, Jack Kirby, broke off. “Shoot, I’m sorry, Ryan. I was so excited I forgot—I mean, uh, are you coming in to see Beth?”

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, his throat raw, his voice heavy. “That’s what I was coming to do.” He hurried toward Jack.

Jack led the way into Beth’s room. His sister was smiling, and Jack immediately hurried to her side, hugging and kissing her before he pointed out Ryan’s presence. “Hey, honey, look who’s here?”

“Oh, Ryan, I’m so glad you came. Did you see him? Isn’t he beautiful?” Beth asked, her face lit with happiness.

All Ryan could see was Emma’s pale face, the sadness in her eyes. He looked around Beth’s room. The rooms were identical, but Beth’s was already filled with flowers…and a loving husband.

Emma had nothing.

Acid ate at his stomach. Guilt filled him. Emma had been alone for the past seven months. He knew because Beth had gone to see her after she and Ryan had split up. Beth had wanted to tell her they could still be friends, because she’d liked Emma. But Emma had refused, telling Beth it would be too painful.

He had occasionally asked Beth, or other women in town, about Emma, in a casual way. But she was like a shadow, barely appearing, slipping away, always bundled up.

Hiding her pregnancy.

“Ryan? Is it too hard for you? You can go home if it is. I appreciate you making the effort, but I’ll understand.” Beth offered him a gentle smile, putting aside her own happiness with concern for him.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “No, honey, I’m okay. You have a fine son. You have a right to be proud.”

Both new parents beamed at him.

“Have you called Mom and Dad yet?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, I just talked to them. They’re packing now. Dad even offered to fly Mom in, but she insisted she had to drive with him to make sure he didn’t get lost,” Beth said with a giggle. Their parents had retired to Florida shortly after Beth’s wedding two years ago.

“When will you go home?” He figured since both babies were born the same day, Emma would go home then, too.

“Either tomorrow or Thursday. The doctor said it depends on how we’re doing. Ryan, you didn’t mind that I—we named him after you, did you?” Beth’s pretty face crinked with a frown, watching him.

He worked hard to look pleased. “No, honey, I was proud. Ryan Jackson is a fine name. Of course, old Jackson here probably wanted his name first, but I’m better than him, so…” As he’d expected, Jack protested, taking his sister’s attention away from him.

When they relaxed again, he said, “Uh, listen, I’ve got to go. Do you mind? Is there anything you need?”

“Oh, no, Jack is taking such good care of me.”

And Emma had no one.

She’d come to town almost a year ago, to be the new librarian. Because she was shy, it had taken her a little while to make friends, but everyone liked her. Ryan had discovered her by accident, while doing the shopping for Billy, his housekeeper, after he’d sprained his ankle.

The instant attraction surprised Ryan, even repulsed him, but Emma wasn’t a lady who expected attention. She offered her help when the food he’d piled up began to slip. Then she’d continued, pushing her almost-empty buggy away.

After having everyone trying to push him into some woman’s arms, any woman’s arms, Emma’s disinterest was…enticing. He found himself asking about her. Then he’d actually gone into the new library for the first-time on some ridiculous excuse.

Again she’d helped him, suggesting a book for Billy to read, when Ryan knew Billy would think he’d lost his mind. And then she’d walked away.

No interest at all.

No flirting, no pushiness, no war paint or suggestive clothes.

He’d stepped up to the counter to check the book out, and on impulse, he’d asked her to eat with him before he went home. He’d told her he hated to eat alone.

He’d struck a chord. She agreed eating alone was difficult and joined him. Her eyes, hazel, fringed with dark lashes, had brightened, her soft lips had stretched into a smile, and he’d wondered if she’d fooled him. She looked too good to be alone.

Had it been a carefully set trap?

But, over dinner, he’d realized her loneliness wasn’t a trick. She never acted like he wanted anything but a dining companion.

And that’s all he was, he’d assured himself. Just because he wanted to slide his fingers through her silky, dark hair. And touch her soft skin. No, all he wanted was a dining companion. Dropping by the library just at closing had become a habit, though. Dinner with Emma had become something he looked forward to. Then he’d gone home with her.

To talk.

And had spent the night.

He hadn’t gone back to the library for three weeks. He’d felt too guilty to show his face. She wasn’t a virgin, thank God. He felt enough guilt without that. But she hadn’t been experienced, either.

And when he went back to the library, she’d never said a word about his absence.

Just as she hadn’t said a word about the baby.

“Ryan? Are you all right?” Beth asked, bringing him back to the present.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll go now. I have someone else to visit.”

“Who?” Jack asked, a frown on his face. “I hadn’t heard of any friends—”

“No one you know!” Ryan exclaimed, backing to the door. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he wasn’t ready to tell his family what had happened. He waved and hurried out of the room.

Emma felt the tears seeping from her closed eyes, getting sopped up by her hair. She didn’t know why she was crying. It must be because she was so weak. And frightened about the future.

“You knew he would be upset,” she muttered to herself. Especially to find out from someone else. Maybe one of the nurses had told him. After all, she’d put his name on the birth certificate.

That had been a mistake.

But she’d intended to tell him about the baby. Only she’d been so tired, so sick, she hadn’t had the strength to deal with him.