Lois Richer - A Doctor's Vow

“It’s not wrong.” He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s a wonderful, unselfish, kind and generous thing to do.”

“It can’t be that wonderful.” She dashed the tears away. “I know that God has a purpose for each of our lives, something only we can accomplish for him. I believe the clinic is my purpose. I’ve been praying about it for years. I’m here. I’m ready. So why doesn’t God help?”

* * *

If only Kent McCloy were privy to God’s thoughts.

“I don’t think I can explain God’s actions.” Kent lifted his hand off her delicate shoulder and turned so she couldn’t see his face. “I think I’m on a need-to-know basis with heaven.”

“Because of Lisa’s death, you mean?” Jaclyn sat down on an old sawhorse he’d brought from home, watching him carefully, her big brown eyes inviting him to share. “I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for you. Do you want to talk about it?”

Hard didn’t begin to describe it, but no matter the release he might find sharing with Jaclyn, Kent wasn’t going to do it. He knew he was to blame. He didn’t want to watch the pity fill her eyes.

“No, I don’t.” That came off sounding harsh so he changed the subject back to her. “Eventually people will get to know you and realize your heart is right.” The last thing Hope needed was to lose yet another doctor. “Don’t give up.”

“Oh, I’m frustrated, Kent. But I’m a long way from giving up.” She rose, took another swipe at the wallpaper. “So how do I go about getting to know the people of Hope?”

“I’m not sure.” He carried a bucket of refuse out to the Dumpster. When he returned, Jaclyn was grinning. “What?”

“I have a great idea. I’m going to join some of their local groups. I can’t cook and I haven’t got a clue how to quilt, but if those groups exist here, I’ll join them.” Her chin lifted in determination. “You’ll have to tell me what kind of activities Hope offers because this place isn’t at all as I remember.”

“It’s the same place, but we’ve gone through some issues. When the town split over the mine almost two years ago, there were a lot of hard feelings. Cliques developed.” She frowned at him and he sought an example to illustrate his point. “Like there used to be a ladies’ aid society, but it’s for the pro ladies now,” he told her. “Pro meaning pro-mine. The ladies against the mine and the problems they thought it would bring to their families left that group and started their own. That one is called Hope Circle and it has no relationship with the other group.”

“Should I join one, or both?” She frowned, rubbing her chin.

“Don’t ask me. I don’t even know what they do in their meetings.” Kent shrugged. “I only know they do not do it together. We used to have a family bowling night. Everyone came out, brought their kids and had a great time together. Now we have the Christian night and the Followers’ night.”

“You’re kidding me,” Jaclyn said with a wry smile. Despite her messy work, she still looked as if she’d stepped out of a magazine. Her white paper suit did nothing to disguise her beauty.

“I wish I were kidding.” Kent forced his gaze off her. “The rift goes a lot deeper. Neighbors don’t talk to neighbors. Old friends don’t have coffee together. Fellow citizens bicker over fence lines and every other petty issue. It’s bad. They even insist on different services at the church. The place needs repair badly but nobody is willing to work with anybody else on it.” Talking about this made him feel worn-out. “I was a town councilor when it happened. Now I’m the mayor. It’s my fault things got so bad.”

“You feel responsible?” Jaclyn blinked at him. “Why?”

“I couldn’t find a way to mediate, to bring them together.” Painful reminders of arguments he’d interrupted, friends he’d tried to reunite and the bitterness underlying everything weighed on his soul. “In the end the town voted on it, the majority won and the mine went ahead, but the issues remain.”

“Democracy worked. How is that your fault?” When he stored his hammer in his toolkit, Jaclyn asked, “We’re finished for tonight?”

“I am. I’m beat. I had a very early morning.” Kent turned away as she shed her paper suit.

There was so much about this woman that spoke to him. Her beauty, her determination to give, her spunky grit in coming here to help him and her strength of purpose in keeping the vow she’d made her sister all demonstrated a woman filled with resolve and fortitude. Her determination astounded him—joining town groups after being virtually ostracized by the community was a gutsy move.

This was one amazing woman.

“There’s a long way to go with this place, isn’t there?” Her voice was quiet, almost solemn. She stood, holding the leftover pie, waiting for his answer as he locked the building.

“It’ll be tough, but it can be done.” Kent hoped he wasn’t going to regret saying that.

“But it’s costing you a lot. I should have considered that.” Under the streetlight, Jaclyn’s pale hair glowed like a halo around her heart-shaped face. “If you want to back out, tell me. I can find another way.”

“Can you?” Kent doubted it.

She looked so small, so delicate. A sudden urge to protect her from the gossip and the hurt she might endure overwhelmed him. Silly. He barely knew Jaclyn anymore.

And yet Kent did know her. He knew her heart was for her patients. He knew her commitment was total. After tonight he also knew her resolve was firm.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to do it. You have enough on your plate.” A tight little smile curved her very kissable mouth. “I don’t want to add to your burdens, Kent.”

“Too late.” He grinned. “I want to make this clinic happen, Jaclyn.” In that moment he realized it was true. “If they could forget their differences, the pristine countryside they’ve lost, the promises made and broken, the hurt feelings because they didn’t see things the same way—if they could only see that their differences are making us all weaker—” He sighed. “Maybe if they could unite in your clinic’s cause—well, I guess I see it as a sort of rallying point for people in Hope.”

“You do?” A fan of tiny smile lines appeared at the edge of her shining eyes. “How?”

“Your clinic isn’t part of the old system. It’s new, different. Maybe it can help undo past damage and end some of the bitterness. Maybe that’s God’s plan in all of this.” Kent had no business saying that since he wasn’t in touch with God anymore. But his idea about the clinic felt right.

“Thank you for saying that, Kent. I admit I was a little discouraged when I came here tonight, but I feel reenergized now. You can’t know how much that means to me.” She stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his cheek before shoving the pie at him. “You’re a wonderful man, Kent. Lisa would be proud of you. Good night.” Jaclyn got into her car and drove away.

Lisa would be proud of you.

The surge of hope Kent had experienced drained away. Lisa wouldn’t be proud. She would know he was trying to make up for past mistakes. She would recognize that he was trying to redeem himself by getting this clinic up and running.

As if you could redeem yourself for causing your wife’s death.

God has a purpose for each of our lives, something only we can accomplish for him. The clinic is my purpose. Jaclyn’s words echoed inside his head as he drove the familiar route home.

What’s my purpose, God?

But as he pulled up to his house, memories of the past crowded out whatever answers God might have whispered.

If only Kent could have a chance to start fresh, like Jaclyn. He’d do so many things differently.