Anne Herries - Candlelit Christmas Kisses

He sighed as the elusive memory disappeared like mist. Perhaps if he found it hard to remember then she did, too. He hoped so, for otherwise … Good grief! Had he made her any promises that night? His thoughts whirled in confusion, then he dismissed them. She’d surely known he was drunk. She was far too sensible to have believed anything he’d said that night.

No, he doubted she even recalled the incident. She would have given some sign. Besides, she must have had other suitors. He could not imagine why she had not married. Even if she had little dowry, there must have been someone … Mr Breck had told him her cousin wished to marry her, but she’d taken this house on rather than accept. Clearly she was not desperate to marry or she would have accepted the offer.

Frowning, he left his bedchamber and walked slowly down the stairs, through the library. Even before he reached the dining room, he could hear laughter. Henry sounded so relaxed and happy. He hadn’t heard him talking so animatedly for years.

Smiling, he walked into the room—and then caught his breath as the woman in yellow silk, trimmed with an overskirt of black lace and similar frills to her neckline, turned to look at him and memory came rushing back into his mind. She had been wearing yellow that night, too, and her hair had been dressed in becoming ringlets. The colour suited her, and if she were to soften her hairstyle a little, she would still be beautiful.

Robert felt the ice round his heart crack a little. Surely he had called her an angel … and he’d done other things, too—things that made the heat rush through his body once more.

How could he have forgotten? For one glorious hour, he had fallen madly in love. He’d always intended to contact her, to tell her that he’d meant every word, but caught up in the excitement of his first campaign, he had forgotten—and then it had all turned sour …

WHY was the earl frowning at her in such disapproval? Selina’s heart caught. Did he think she had put off her blacks too soon? Was he shocked that she and her sisters were all wearing colours this evening? Amy had chosen lilac trimmed with grey lace, Millie a dark blue trimmed with satin ribbons of a matching shade.

‘Miss Searles. You look remarkably well this evening.’

‘Mama told us before she died that we were not to wear black for her longer than a month,’ Selina said a trifle defensively. ‘We shall continue to wear grey during the day until Christmas, but we promised that a month after her death we would wear colours in the evenings.’

‘You have no need to explain yourself to me, Miss Searles,’ he replied a trifle stiffly. ‘I confess I was a little surprised to see the change, but I find it pleasant.’

‘We talked it over and decided that we would follow Mama’s wishes,’ Selina said. ‘However, when we drive out we shall continue to wear mourning so that we do not shock our neighbours. I was intending to ask you this evening if we might have the use of your uncle’s carriage and horses tomorrow, should you have no use for them. My groom will take us, as we should like to drive into the nearest town to purchase some materials and things we need to ensure that Christmas is a success.’

‘Of course you may have the carriage whenever you please. The horses are in need of some exercise, and I should take my own curricle if I wished to go visiting—which I have no intention of doing for the moment.’

‘Thank you. You are very kind. I do not wish to presume on your good nature more than necessary, sir. I am sure there must be moments when you have wished us all to the devil.’

‘There you would be wrong,’ he replied, and smiled. ‘You and your sisters have brought this house to life, Miss Searles. It will be a pleasure having you all here until after Christmas. I have not yet decided whether I shall take up residence here, but there is plenty of time for me to make up my mind next spring.’

‘Your gardens will be so beautiful in the spring, sir,’ Millie chimed in, without being asked. ‘It would be a shame to destroy something as beautiful as this house. Do you not think of all the history that has gone on here—of the people who have lived and laughed here?’

‘Millie!’ Selina and Amy spoke together in unison.

‘You really must not speak your mind so freely,’ Selina continued, her cheeks hot as she threw a look of apology at the earl. ‘You have no idea of what you are saying.’

‘Miss Millie meant no offence,’ Henry said. ‘Robert knows that, Miss Searles.’

‘Of course.’ The Earl inclined his head to them, though the look in his eyes was distinctly chilly. ‘It is precisely because I think of the people who lived and died here and their unhappiness that I have thought of pulling the house down and building again.’

‘But surely dying is part of life?’ Millie said impulsively. ‘I did not mean just your uncle, sir—and I beg your pardon if I have distressed you. There must have been many generations of your family, and they cannot all have been unhappy. Your uncle must have been happy here once? Mama was unhappy towards the end, but she told us to remember the good times—and that is what we do.’

‘That is enough,’ Selina said sternly. ‘If you cannot behave you may go to your room, Millie. I shall not tell you to curb your tongue again. We are guests here, and you will remember that, if you please.’

Millie’s cheeks went bright red, and she looked as if she might burst into tears in the ensuing silence.

‘No, do not scold her,’ the earl said after a moment. ‘She is quite right, and I have been a fool to dwell on my uncle’s unhappiness. What happened to him was unfortunate, but there was a time when this was a happy house.’

‘And shall be again,’ Henry said. ‘Ah, I think that is the dinner gong. Shall we take our places at table? Miss Millie, will you honour me by sitting beside me, please? I should like to talk to you about our self-appointed task in the library.’

‘And what is that, pray?’ the earl asked as Millie went silently to her allotted place. ‘If Nor has embroiled you in one of his schemes, Miss Millie, you must not let him become a slave driver—for I promise you he will if given a free hand.’

‘Some chance I have of keeping you to your desk if you choose to go riding or visiting instead,’ Henry said, and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at Selina, as if reassuring her. ‘Millie discovered that I was embarking on the reorganisation of the library, and she nobly offered to assist me.’

‘She will be in her heaven,’ Amy said, and smiled at him. ‘It was kind of you to let her help, sir, because she lives for books. Papa indulged her, but Mama was afraid she might ruin her eyes.’

‘Oh, I do not think a love of books ever hurt anyone,’ Henry said. ‘If you need an escort into Long Melford, I should be glad to accompany you tomorrow. I think you will find it is the nearest town, and it has several shops that you will find of interest—though if you cannot find what you need, I should be glad to send to London for you.’

‘How kind you are,’ Selina said, recovering her tongue. ‘I think our needs are fairly simple, and most haberdashers will be able to supply us with silks and ribbons and some lace. We already have the cloth we require. A good general merchant should supply the other goods we need—almonds, essence and sugar to make marchpane, dates, nuts and preserves, of course. Cook has already started on her cake, and her puddings were made before we left home. We have been using preserves we brought with us, but must now replace them.’

‘You must send your accounts to me,’ the earl said. ‘If we are to share our Christmas celebrations and other meals, I insist on paying for the supplies we need.’