Caron Todd - Her Favorite Husband

Sarah didn’t want to think what the Bard would say about her now, a comic character on a fool’s errand to Yellowknife. Never mind rose-colored glasses; the minute she’d read that article on Saturday morning, she’d put on a blindfold.

THE WALK BACK TO THE hotel was uphill all the way. By the time Sarah reached the New Town, she felt as old and tired as the man by the lake.

She stopped for a breather, and saw three restaurants within close range. A pizzeria straight ahead, a Chinese establishment at one end of the street and a place that claimed to serve authentic northern fare down the other.

She went closer to read the menu posted on an outside wall. There through the window was Ian, like a framed picture, lost in thought, a cup of coffee beside his laptop.

Writer at Work. No, that didn’t fit. He didn’t look productive at all. Stalked by Guilt?

Probably not. By now he’d managed to squeeze the mistake he’d enjoyed so much into some dark, unused corner of his brain, then shut the door and locked it.

The imbalance between them unsettled her. He so clearly didn’t want to see her, but she wasn’t done needing to see him.

It was noon and she was hungry. She decided to go in.

SARAH MANEUVERED HERSELF and her bags onto the bench seat across from Ian’s and gave him a bright smile. “You don’t mind, do you? I’ve been shopping all morning and I’m starving.”

She couldn’t tell if he minded or not. He closed his laptop and pushed it to one side, then caught a waiter’s eye, pointed at his coffee cup and signaled for another.

At least his first move wasn’t to call a taxi.

His water glass, apparently untouched, sat a tantalizing few inches away from her. “Could I have that? I’m parched.”

“Help yourself.”

“Another half hour out there and I’d be dead from dehydration.” The restaurant was busy, but not full. From the door she hadn’t seen the empty tables. She’d only seen Ian.

She drank most of the water, then patted some on her forehead. The coolness was such a relief she spooned out a few small ice cubes and dropped them inside her sweater. “This is the Arctic, right? I didn’t take a wrong turn and end up in Arizona?”

“It’s the subarctic—”

“Oh, the subarctic.”

“And you’re dressed for fall.”

He was dressed for gardening, or fishing, something outdoorsy, a bit casual even for a freelancer. The look suited him—the open collar, the rolled up sleeves, the signs of a little too much sun and just the right amount of muscle.

Her body began to tingle. Apparently it had no IQ at all.

“I thought you might be on your way home by now,” Ian said.

“That would have been a very short holiday.”

“You’re staying?”

“Hard to accept, is it?”

“No, no…of course not. You should enjoy the sights.”

The sentence sounded incomplete. Enjoy the sights quickly, he was saying, leave town even faster.

He had already ordered his meal. By the time the waiter arrived with coffee, Sarah had chosen one of the lunch specials printed on a blackboard menu—an almost zero-fat meal of poached arctic char and a salad.

When the waiter left she said, “Ian, could we let it go?”

“It?”

The unpromising response made her pause. “Whatever’s causing problems between us.”

He looked the way he had yesterday, withdrawn, and not friendly in the least. It was hard to feel good about the middle part of the evening given his antagonism before and since.

Oh, well. She’d unmade the bed, and regardless of lumps, she’d have to lie in it for a while.

The slight variation on the old saying made her smile, and a man two tables over smiled back. It cheered her up. Male admiration had a way of putting a spring in her step.

“Careful, Sarah.”

“Of?”

“Some of the men around here are just down from the mines. They’re two weeks in, two weeks out.”

“Not exactly an eternity.”

“They spend half the month in a high-security zone accessible only by plane in summer and ice road in winter. The other half of the month they like to unwind—”

“Understandably. It’s nice of you to be concerned, but it isn’t necessary. What do you think I’ve been doing for the past ten years?”

“Getting married, apparently.” He muttered it almost grumpily. His tone surprised Sarah. Pleased her, too.

“Looking after myself. Spying the wolves with my own little eye. Anyway, if I were looking for romance there’s someone at home who—”

His shock stopped her. A flash of it, then nothing, his face expressionless.

He’d misunderstood. And thought the worst.

The waiter arrived with their meals. They sat in stiff silence while he deposited plates in front of them and refilled their coffee cups.

She wouldn’t explain. Let Ian leap to his regularly scheduled judgments.

“SOMEONE AT HOME.” Ian tried to keep his voice neutral.

“That’s right.”

Maybe in her book, cheating with an ex wasn’t really cheating. He’d thought better of her.

“How many winter coats have you had since we broke up?”

“How many?” She looked at him blankly. “I have no idea.”

“It’s been ten years. Three coats? Four?”

She shrugged. “I have a long gray one with a fur collar for formal occasions. A red one for dreary days. A ski jacket for the slopes. A black-and-white houndstooth for contrast when I wear all black. An all-weather trench with a zip-out lining. A long down parka for visiting at home in January. A cape, but that’s not strictly a coat—”

“Okay. Got it.”

“Got what?”

“You have a coat for every mood and every occasion.” Maybe he was finally starting to understand her. “This is just the way you are, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. What am I agreeing with?”

“Your need for variety.”

She picked at her fish, separating the flakes with her fork. After a few moments she said, “This is very good char.”

Ignoring an idea she didn’t like, as usual.

Just as well. He was starting to feel ashamed of himself, being petty enough to ask the question.

They went on talking, two acquaintances catching up on each other’s news. About parents and siblings, about the storm that had destroyed her family’s house a couple of years earlier. Ian had heard about it at the time. It was a real loss. A grand old house, moldering away until the wind gave it a swift end. He’d liked the place. Missed it, after the divorce. Missed her family, too.

“Why are you pretending you’re not angry, Sarah?”

“Angry?”

“About last night.”

She gave him a cool smile. “You think I can’t have a roll in the hay and come out of it unscathed? It didn’t mean all that much to me, Ian. And your…behavior wasn’t a big surprise. It’s what you do.”

“What I do?”

“Run off.”

“I run off?”

Their voices had steadily been getting louder. Not much, but people at nearby tables had noticed. He lowered his, and suggested that she should, too. Even before he’d finished saying it, the anger he’d known must be there swept into her face.

“DON’T TELL ME HOW LOUDLY to speak. You’re the one who can’t carry on a normal conversation. And then you scold me?”

Ian pushed his plate away. “I don’t need this, Sarah. We’ve been divorced for ten years. There has to be some advantage to that, right? Lunches don’t have to dissolve into fights anymore.”

“Our lunches never dissolved into fights. What are you talking about? Is that how you remember it?”

“It doesn’t matter how either of us remembers it. We were married for two years a decade ago. A blip in both our lives.”