Stella Bagwell - His Texas Baby

“I guess not,” he agreed. “But the baby has connected us. It will keep us connected for the rest of our lives.”

She sipped her drink then glanced awkwardly away from him. “Yes. I suppose you’re right about that.”

He swiped a hand through his hair, rumpling the rich brown waves. “Me, a father,” he said with dismay. “I’ve got to admit I’d already moved past the notion of having a child in my life. I had decided I wasn’t ever going to be a father.”

She studied him thoughtfully. “You’re still a young man, Liam. It’s hard to imagine you already writing off those aspects of your life.”

He blew out a heavy breath. “Can’t you? I’m sure Will told you about … well, about my family and … what happened.”

Even now, in spite of his efforts to move forward, speaking about Felicia and the baby was like staring into a dark, empty hole. His family had oftentimes accused him of trying to cling to a memory and hang uselessly on to the past. But that wasn’t quite the truth. He’d tried to forget and set his sights on the future. He’d thrown himself into his work and pushed himself to get interested in dating and women. The work had helped keep his mind occupied, but he’d never felt a flicker of attraction toward another woman. Not until Kitty. And even that had been a slow thing that had crept up on him before he’d realized it was even happening. Now that attraction had turned into a baby!

He watched her cloudy gaze drop to the tabletop. “Yes. Dad told me a few years ago about the accident. I never mentioned it to you before because—” She focused her eyes back on his face. “Well, that’s your private business. If you wanted to talk to me about it that was for you to decide. Not me.”

“I rarely talk about it to anyone.”

Her expression solemn, she asked, “So the accident is why you never planned to have a family again?”

“My family was taken from me. I knew I couldn’t replace them.” He shrugged even though he was feeling anything but casual. “Felicia was one of a kind. She understood me and I understood her. We always got along without a hitch and the baby was a dream come true for the both of us. Once they were gone there was nothing left in my life but an empty hole. And I’ve never seen any way to fill it.”

“I see,” she murmured stiffly.

Did she? Most of the time, Liam had difficulty understanding his own feelings about the situation so he doubted she could grasp the state of his heart. But whether she appreciated how that part of his past had affected him didn’t really matter now. This was a new baby. And even though he’d not planned on it, his life was about to change.

“That probably sounds hard to you. If it does, I’m sorry. I’m not really a hard man, Kitty.”

A faint smile touched her lips and Liam was surprised at how much he would like to kiss her, to have that soft sweetness against his mouth, feel her warm breath caress his cheek.

“I’ve not ever thought that about you, Liam. Driven maybe. But not hard.”

He took another sip of his drink and realized the cocktail wasn’t nearly strong enough to slow the whirling thoughts in his head. Normally he was a cool, calculating man, his mind razor sharp. But Kitty and news of the baby had melted the ice water in his veins. Damn it. Right now he was feeling too much. Thinking too much.

“My work is what keeps me going,” he admitted. “Ever since I lost Felicia and the baby I’ve made horses and racing my whole life.”

“Well, you’re definitely making a name for yourself. For the past few years you’ve made plenty of owners and trainers bow down to you.”

He chuckled at her choice of words. “Bow? I didn’t know anyone had ever seen me wearing my crown, I always make a point to leave it locked in the vault at home.”

The smile fighting its way across her face warmed him.

“You hardly need to wear a crown, Liam. Everyone around the West Coast tracks think you’re royalty.”

“Only the West Coast?”

That made her laugh and he realized it was the first joyous sound he’d heard her make today. He also realized how good her laughter made him feel.

“I don’t know why anyone would have that idea about me,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’ve never won a training title at any track in this area. Up until this year I’ve never brought that many horses to California to even vie for one.”

“No. But you have a high win percentage with the amount you do bring,” she pointed out.

The waiter arrived with their salads and once they were alone again, she wasted no time in drenching the pile of greens with black pepper and forking up a piece of romaine lettuce.

Following her example, he dug into his own salad and swallowed several bites before he spoke again. “I’ve brought some of my best out here this spring. I’m hoping to show some of the big owners and trainers that the Diamond D stables can compete on any level.”

She sighed. “I’m hoping just to measure up to Dad’s standards. And that isn’t going to be easy.”

“Nothing about this business is easy.” He settled a soft gaze on her face. “But you shouldn’t worry, Kitty. You’ll do your father proud.”

Kitty looked at him and was suddenly horrified to feel tears glazing her eyes. All day long she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t become emotional tonight while she sat across the dinner table from Liam. But that promise had been impossible to keep. When he spoke of her father it ripped her heart. And when he’d talked about losing his wife and baby, she’d felt deep down hurt. For him and for herself. It was clear to her that he was still suffering and that meant he wasn’t ready to love again. Not her or any woman. Oh, God, why did that crush her so? Why couldn’t she look at him, be near him and feel nothing more than mild affection?

“Well, I’m going to do everything in my power to make him proud,” she said huskily. And to hold on to what was rightfully hers, she could have added. But tonight wasn’t the time to tell Liam about the edict her father had left in his will. Tonight was about the baby and how the two of them were going to deal with becoming parents.

A faint smile touched his lips and Kitty felt her heart flutter like a young girl experiencing her first crush. It was crazy to be reacting to this man in such a way, yet at the same time it was exhilarating. And she suddenly realized that Liam had done something she’d thought impossible. He’d broken through the numbness of her grief and made her feel again, want to live again.

“I have no doubts about that,” he said. “The first time I ever met your father, you were trailing alongside him. I’m sure during all those years you’ve absorbed a wealth of knowledge.”

She certainly had, Kitty thought dourly. She’d learned firsthand knowledge about controlling men and fractious horses. Neither of which she’d learned how to handle entirely.

“I tried,” was all she allowed herself to say.

He ate several bites of salad then said, “So tell me about your health. Are you feeling well? And the baby?”

Glad that he’d given her a couple of easy questions, she nodded. “I had a few bouts of nausea in my second and third month. But that’s past. So far I’m doing fine. And the baby appears to be healthy and growing.”

He looked visibly relieved and she could only wonder what the news of this baby had done to him. Brought up memories too painful to bear? Or was he seeing this child as a second chance for him to be a father? If they were a true couple she wouldn’t be wondering about those things, she would already know. But Kitty doubted they would ever be that close. Close enough for her to see into his heart. The notion saddened her. She’d always wanted to be important to this man and now that she was having his child that need had only intensified.