Nikki Benjamin - The Baby They Both Loved

No wonder she had panicked, Simon thought, his heart going out to her in sympathy. She must see him as her enemy, when that wasn’t his intention at all. They had been friends once. For Nathan’s sake, he hoped they could be friends again.

Kit had said that Lucy named her as the boy’s legal guardian. She had also said that she was in the process of adopting him, and it was apparent, by all she’d said and done, that she loved and cherished him deeply.

In the months since Lucy’s death Kit had mothered Nathan as if he were her own child. She was the one constant in his son’s short life, and she was the one Nathan reached for now with a tearful whimper, aware as children always are, of emotions running high.

Simon knew that he would gain nothing by alienating Kit Davenport, and he would upset Nathan, as well, by behaving like a bully. There were ways that he could go about asserting his parental rights in a calm and dignified manner. He truly had no desire at all to cause Kit unnecessary pain.

To his way of thinking, he owed her an enormous debt of gratitude. Had it not been for her generosity of spirit, Nathan could have become a ward of the state. Put into a foster home and eventually adopted by strangers, his son would never have known he had a father ready and willing to love and care for him.

No, Simon didn’t want to hurt Kit, or upset her unnecessarily. But he wasn’t going to give up his son to her, either—at least not on any kind of permanent basis.

Of course, he was going to need time to bond with his son before he would be ready to take over as a full-time father. And Kit was the one person who could facilitate that bonding. Her acceptance of him would, in turn, guarantee Nathan’s acceptance of him, and only with mutual acceptance and understanding would they avoid any further emotional trauma.

“Hey, no problem,” Simon said finally, shifting Nathan into Kit’s arms with a reassuring smile. “I hope I didn’t scare him.”

The little boy’s quivering lip vanished as he snuggled contentedly against Kit’s shoulder. Her relief was almost palpable as she held the child close. But there was also embarrassment evident in the lingering glance she shot Simon’s way.

“Actually, I believe I’m the one who frightened him, raising my voice the way I did,” she admitted, her slight smile rueful.

“You weren’t afraid that I’d drop him or anything, were you?” Simon asked, wanting to find out just how honest she would be with him.

Kit hesitated a moment, her smile fading as she looked away, then met his gaze again, her chin tipped at a defensive angle.

“I trusted that you’d be careful with him,” she said, her tone matter-of-fact. “What concerned me was the possibility that you’d try to leave with him, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop you.”

Her truthfulness, coupled with her acknowledgment of just how vulnerable he’d made her feel, touched off deep in Simon’s soul an unexpected inclination to protect. Had anyone posed a similar threat to Kit Davenport’s well-being, he knew he would have come to her aid without a moment’s hesitation. But the only way he could save her from himself was to give up his son, and that Simon could never do.

Again he realized how loathe he was to see Kit hurt, and again he admitted that he was the one most likely to cause her pain in the very near future. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see that he had any choice in the matter. He could be as honest as she was, though, and hope that she would respect him for it as he respected her.

“The thought did cross my mind,” he said. “Nathan is my son, after all.

“But there are other issues involved, legal issues that we’ll have to sort out. There’s also the fact that he doesn’t know me very well yet. It’s going to be a while before he’s as comfortable with me as he is with you. If I’d taken off with him, I would have probably scared him half to death. That wouldn’t do any of us any good, but especially wouldn’t have been good for Nathan. His best interests have to come first, as I’m sure you’ll agree.”

“Of course, I agree that his best interests are of primary importance. But just because you happened to donate the sperm doesn’t automatically give you parental rights,” Kit retorted in righteous indignation, all evidence of weakness on her part gone in a flash. Holding Nathan tight, she squared her shoulders and met his gaze unswervingly. “I’m the one Lucy designated as her son’s guardian. Nothing was said about you in her will. I don’t think she would have left you out of the equation if she wanted you to be a part of Nathan’s life.”

“Lucy made a lot of decisions about our son that didn’t include me,” Simon pointed out, his own ire returning in full force. “But only because I didn’t know I had a son, thanks to her deception. I know about Nathan now, though, and I’m not letting you exclude me the way she did. I’m a good man and I deserve to have the chance to raise my son. You can try to fight me if you want to, Kit. But be fore-warned—while I don’t want to see you hurt, I will do whatever it takes to get full custody of my son.”

He spoke in a measured tone, never once raising his voice. Still Kit seemed to wilt under his barrage. She didn’t respond verbally in any way, just looked at him with wide, suddenly frightened eyes. Despite all his justifications, spoken and unspoken, in that moment she made him feel like a bully. He could blame her for the provocation, but that didn’t excuse completely his intimidating behavior.

“I want you with me, Kit, not against me,” he added, softening his voice as he reached out to touch her cheek with gentle fingertips.

She flinched away from him as if she’d been scalded.

“It’s Lucy’s wishes that matter to me, not yours, Simon Gilmore. Lucy wanted me, not you, to take care of Nathan if anything happened to her, and that’s exactly what I plan to do.”

“Then I guess I’ll see you in court,” he stated simply, accepting at last that they’d reached an impasse.

“Yes, I guess you will.”

He had said as much as he could, Simon thought, and probably more than he should. Turning away from Kit, he made his way to the door. He didn’t like leaving after such an acrimonious exchange, but neither was he prepared to alter his stance or to take back anything he’d said.

He had tried to be reasonable as he’d stated his case, but Kit hadn’t wanted to be reasonable in return. Now there seemed nothing left to do but head out to the ranch. He’d talk to his parents, and then he would hire an attorney to represent him.

There was no telling how long it would take to win custody of his son. But he had four weeks’ time to get the process started, and he intended to go the distance no matter what it cost him in the end.

To Kit, the hollow sound of the apartment door closing had a frightening ring of finality about it. She wanted to go after Simon and rage at him in the worst way. But all she could do was stand in her tiny kitchen, holding Nathan in her arms, a sick twist in the pit of her stomach.

He had a lot of nerve showing up in Belle, claiming Lucy had lied to him three years ago, then sputtering angrily about his rights. He had likely expected she’d give in to his forcefulness. She was a woman alone, after all, with limited financial resources. But she’d stood her ground, and so he’d upped the ante, changing his tactics like a chameleon changes color.

He had caught her off guard, touching her the way he had so unexpectedly, his hand gentle against her face. For one long moment she had been tempted to believe that he wished her no harm—that when he said he wanted her with him, not against him, they could be partners for Nathan’s benefit.