Shirley Jump - The Mckennas - Finn, Riley and Brody

Ellie stepped toward him, a smile on her lips, and everything in Finn wanted to take her in his arms and pick up where they left off. But doing so would only do the one thing he was trying to avoid—

Plunge him headlong down that path of wild and crazy. The kind of roller-coaster romance that led to bad decisions, bad matches, and in the end, unhappiness and broken hearts.

“We can’t do this.” He put some distance between them and picked up his glass, just to have something to do with his hands—something other than touch Ellie again.

“Can’t do what?” A smile curved across her face. “Let this lead to something more than a contract?”

“Especially not that. We can’t treat this like … like a real marriage. It’s a business partnership. And that’s all.” He shook his head and put the glass back on the tray. The remains of their snack sat there, mocking him. Tempting him to go back to pretending this was something that it wasn’t.

But Ellie wasn’t so easily dissuaded. She stood before him, hands on her hips. “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything. I just think it’s best if we keep this business only.”

“So that’s what that kiss was, business only?”

“No, that was a mistake. One I won’t make again.”

“And the rooftop dinner? The kiss in the courthouse? Also mistakes?”

He sighed. This was why he hadn’t wanted to go down this path. He could already see hurt brimming in Ellie’s eyes. He’d done this—he’d made her believe their fake marriage might be leading to something more—and he’d been wrong.

Was any project worth hurting Ellie? Seeing her crying, just like he had seen his mother crying so many times?

He exhaled, then pushed the words out. The words he should have said long ago. “After the interview, I don’t think we should wait to annul this marriage.” There. He’d said it. Fast, like ripping off a bandage.

Didn’t stop it from hurting, though.

Her green eyes filled with disbelief. A ripple of shock filled her features. “What?”

“The business deal can be maintained if you want,” he said. He kept his voice neutral, his stance professional. If he treated this like business as usual, perhaps she would, too. But the notes of her perfume kept teasing at his senses while the tears in her green eyes begged him to reconsider. Finn struggled to stick to his resolve. This was the best thing, all around. “Uh, if you like, I’ll keep my team in place at WW, and help you through the project. It seems like they’re working well together. No reason to break that up.”

“That wasn’t the deal. You were supposed to help me adopt Jiao.”

“I’ll do my part. When the interview is set up, just let me know and I’ll be here for that.”

“Pretending to be my husband.”

“Wasn’t that the arrangement?”

She didn’t say anything for a while. Outside her building, a car honked, and a dog barked. Night birds twittered at each other, and the breeze whispered over them all.

“Was that all you were doing a minute ago? Sealing a business deal?”

She made him sound so cold, calculated. So like the Hawk nickname he hated. “You think that’s the only reason I kissed you?”

“Isn’t it? You wanted an alliance that would help your company. I wanted a child. We each get what we want out of this marriage. It’s as simple as that. That’s all this marriage is about. A simple business transaction.” She took a step closer, her gaze locked on his. “Isn’t it? Or did it start to become something more for you, too?”

She was asking him for the truth. Why had he married her if it wasn’t about the business?

He couldn’t tell her it was because he was tired of sleeping on that sofa bed. That he was tired of hearing nothing other than his own breath in his apartment. Tired of spending his days working and his nights wondering why he was working so hard. And that when he had met Ellie he had started to wonder what it would be like to have more.

But he didn’t.

Because doing that would open a window into his heart, and if he did that, he’d never be able to walk away from Ellie Winston. He’d get tangled up in the kind of heated love story that he had always done his best to avoid. No, better to keep this cold, impersonal. Let her think the worst of him.

He let out a gust. “This is anything but simple.”

“Why? What is so bad about getting involved with someone, Finn? What makes you so afraid of doing that?”

“I’m not afraid of getting involved. We got married, remember?”

“In name only. That’s not a relationship. It’s a contract. And I know that’s what I said I wanted when we started this thing, but …” She let out a long breath and shook her head. “You know, a few times, I’ve thought I’ve seen a different side of you, a side that is downright human. And that made me wonder what it would be like to take a chance with you. I’m not a woman who takes chances easily, especially with my heart. But in the end, you keep coming back to being the Hawk.”

He scowled. “That’s not true.”

“You’re a coward, Finn.” She turned away. “I don’t know why I thought … why I thought anything at all.”

Why couldn’t she understand that he was trying to be smart, to put reality ahead of a fantasy they would never have? Acting without thinking and living in a dream bubble got people hurt. Ellie needed to understand that.

“You think we can turn this fantasy into a real marriage?” he asked. “Tell me the truth, Ellie. Was a part of you hoping that maybe, just maybe, we’d work out and make a happy little family with two-point-five kids and a dog?”

“No.” She shook her head, and tears brimmed in her eyes. Above them, a light rain began to fall, but they both ignored it. “Not anymore.”

His gaze went to the glass balcony door. The reflection of the neighborhood lights shimmered on the glass like mischievous eyes. Droplets of rain slid slowly down the glass, and Finn thought how like tears the rain could appear. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But I have to be clear. I can’t give you any more than what the contract stipulated.”

Ellie didn’t see the ramifications that he could. He had been through this already, seen his parents suffer every day they lived together. Sure, he and Ellie could have some hot, fiery romance, but in the end, they’d crash and burn, and the child would be the one who suffered the most. She was already starting to head down that road, and if he didn’t detour them now, it would go nowhere good.

Tears began to slide down Ellie’s cheeks, and for a moment, Finn’s determination faltered. “That’s all I am? A contract?”

“That’s what you wanted, Ellie. And it’s what’s best for all of us.” Then he turned on his heel and headed out into the rain.

Before the tears in her eyes undid all his resolve.

HE WAS having a good day. The smile on Henry Winston’s face told Ellie that, along with the doctor’s tentatively positive report. They were on an upswing right now, and her father was gaining ground. For the first time, the doctor had used the words “when he goes home.”

Gratitude flooded Ellie, and she scooted the vinyl armchair closer to her father’s bedside. Happy sunlight streamed through the windows of his room at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Her father had more color in his face today. The tray of food beside him was nearly empty. All good signs. Very good.

After last night’s bitter disappointment with Finn, Ellie could use some good news. She’d tossed and turned all night, trying to think of a way to convince Finn to help her with Jiao. If he didn’t, how would she make this work? He hadn’t said for sure he’d get an annulment, but she hadn’t heard from him since the conversation on the balcony. She could pick up the phone and call him herself, but she didn’t. Because she didn’t want to hear him say he’d ended their marriage. And ended Ellie’s hopes for adopting Jiao.