Nicole Foster - Healing The Md's Heart

“I guess that’s why I think it’s good you and Noah have had the chance to know your family,” she mused. “I know what I’ve missed and I hate to see someone else miss out, as well.”

“I didn’t know what I was missing out on until I had to go looking for them. So far it’s worked out. But when it comes to Noah, I can’t afford not to be careful. He’s gotten very attached to a lot of people here already. I just hope it’s not temporary on their part.” He didn’t look at her when he said it, but he could feel her eyes on him.

They were near the corral fence and she stopped, compelling him to face her head-on. “You’re talking about me, aren’t you?”

“Not specifically,” he started, then stopped because he was lying and she knew it. “Okay, yes, I am and we both know why. Like you said before, maybe it’s the circumstances, but you can’t argue that Noah cares a lot about you and you and I…” He tried to find the words to define it and couldn’t. “I don’t know what it is, just that it’s more than either of us expected.”

“And apparently it’s not good,” she said flatly.

“I didn’t say that, but maybe it’s not. You’re the one who told me you were lousy at relationships. Am I supposed to take the chance that doesn’t apply to Noah?”

She flinched as if he’d struck her a blow in a vulnerable spot. “I would never do anything to hurt Noah. And if you believe that, we’re done, not just now, but you need to find yourself a new pediatrician while you’re here.”

“I don’t believe you’d ever do anything deliberately to hurt him,” Duran said, choosing his words carefully. “But I need a guarantee you aren’t going to let him learn to love you and then decide you can’t deal with that or it’s not what you want.”

“For you or for Noah?” Momentarily confused by her snapped question, he didn’t answer right away and she plunged ahead. “This guarantee, is it for you or for Noah? Because I think you’re the one who wants the guarantee, Duran. And you know what? You’re right—I can’t give it to you. So maybe it’s better we end this—whatever it is—right now.”

Spinning away from him, she started back the way they’d come. Duran caught her in two paces, grasping her arm to turn her back to him. “Is that what you want? Because it sure as hell isn’t what I want.”

“No,” she said, so softly he wasn’t sure he’d heard her answer. She looked shaken and he could feel the effort she was making to hold herself stiffly, to keep her control. “But you aren’t the only one who’s afraid of getting hurt. I do care—a lot more than I should—and I don’t even want to think about how I could hurt either of you. I don’t want to think about how you could hurt me, either, when you decide it’s time for you to leave. So, no, it’s not what I want. But maybe it’s the best thing for both of us.”

She pulled herself free from his grip and quickly strode into the darkness, leaving him there alone.

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