Katy Birchall - The It Girl - Team Awkward

At the party, I had been happily listening to Marianne Montaine, my It Girl soon-to-be stepsister, wax lyrical about her hugely famous rock star boyfriend Tom Kyzer. But Dad forced me to come with him so he could introduce me to some of his old-person author friends. They weren’t talking about interesting things like rock stars, either, just history and politics, which no one cares about really.

Luckily I spotted a waiter milling around with a platter of sausage rolls and an escape plan formed in my mind. ‘Sorry,’ I excused myself to no one in particular. ‘I’m going to go get a sausage roll.’

The waiter had sped back towards the kitchen, though, so I followed him. But as I looked back over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching, he came back out with another big tray of sausage rolls. I swerved to avoid him, he yelped, I got scared by the yelp, lost my balance and fell back into the plant pot.

Jess blinked at me. ‘And now you have a thing against sausage rolls?’

‘The inventor of sausage rolls. The sausage rolls themselves were not at fault.’

‘Well, it’s a great story that makes no sense,’ Jess nodded. ‘Now can we get out of this cubicle? There really is not enough space in here for both of us.’

‘But there are people out there.’

‘Yeah, and I’m sure they’re all desperate to hear the sausage-roll-plant-pot story.’

‘Jess, be serious. It’s all over the Internet. Everyone will be laughing at me. Again.’

‘I’m sure they won’t laugh. And if they do I’ll tell them off.’

‘Promise?’

‘Yes.’

‘OK, then,’ I gave in. Jess opened the cubicle door and squeezed herself behind it while I shuffled nervously out towards the sink and checked the coast was clear. She followed me.

‘Much better,’ she sighed, putting her bag down again so she could run her fingers through her hair in front of the mirror. ‘Now, what was I saying?’

As she spoke the door swung open and two girls from a couple of years below us came in chatting excitedly. They stopped as they saw us and then one of them hurriedly reached into her backpack, pulling out a notepad. ‘Hi Anna,’ she squeaked, coming nearer. ‘Can you sign this for me?’

Jess smiled at me encouragingly. This girl couldn’t be one of the four million people who had seen the plant-pot video.

‘Of course,’ I said in my most sophisticated voice, taking the pink sparkly pen that she offered and doing a swirly AH on the page.

‘Thanks!’ she giggled. ‘You getting stuck in the plant pot was really funny.’

I shot a look at Jess. I was very much ready for this girl to get told off.

‘It was hilarious , wasn’t it?’ Jess squealed – then she saw my face and stopped abruptly. ‘But, er, not that funny.’

I pursed my lips and then, head held high, swept past the two girls out of the bathroom. As the door swung back I heard the first girl say, ‘I’m putting this on eBay.’

‘OK, so that wasn’t the best telling-off I’ve given,’ Jess admitted as she walked beside me along the corridor, ‘but from now on I will be seriously cross if anyone even dares mention plant pots.’ She patiently waited while I fiddled around with the code on my locker.

‘Hey, anyone got any spare plant pots?’

I didn’t give Danny the satisfaction of turning round.

‘No, Danny,’ Jess said sternly. ‘That’s not OK.’

‘Hey,’ he responded defensively. ‘You’re the one who told me that you’ve sent the video to your relatives in Canada.’

I looked at Jess accusingly. She held up her hands. ‘That has definitely not happened. I have definitely not sent it to my four relatives in Canada and also a random second cousin in New Zealand.’

‘Cheer up,’ Danny said happily, giving me a nudge. ‘It’ll blow over.’

‘Can it blow over quickly?’ I hissed, my eyes darting towards a group of students with their eyes glued to a phone. They burst into laughter and looked up at me.

‘You have way more important things to care about,’ Jess said, a smile slowly expanding across her face. ‘Like your boyfriend.’

I blushed furiously. ‘Connor is not my boyfriend.’

‘Maybe not yet, but you’re a great match,’ Jess said matter-of-factly. ‘You’re both kind of weird.’

‘Did you see him lots over the holidays?’ Danny asked as Jess ruffled his blond curls. He swatted her off.

‘A little,’ I said quietly, looking round to make sure he wasn’t there. I still didn’t know how Connor, the super-gorgeous, comic-drawing, perfect-in-every-way boy who made my hands go clammy just by smiling, still seemed to like me despite all the ridiculous things I had done last term. Well, I thought he still liked me . . . ‘We saw some films.’

‘Aaaaand?’ Jess asked.

‘And what?’

She sighed. ‘I’ve only been asking you this question all holidays and you’ve been avoiding it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said, turning back to focus on the contents of my locker in the hope that Jess wouldn’t make fun of how red my cheeks were going.

‘Did you . . . kiss ?’

‘Jess!’ I exclaimed, hitting the back of my head on my locker door, which had started swinging closed behind me.

‘Well, did you, you smooth operator?’ Jess laughed, pushing the locker door back open for me as I rubbed my head.

‘It didn’t come up.’

Danny raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m surprised at that.’

‘Why?’

‘You obviously like each other.’ He shrugged. ‘Still, I suppose you can’t rush these things.’

‘OK, Dr Casanova,’ Jess snorted. ‘Since when do you know anything about these things?’

‘Casanova was not a doctor.’ Danny rolled his eyes. ‘What I meant was that Connor and Anna are both quite shy. Or, well, I guess I mean that Anna is quite socially awkward.’

‘I am not socially awkward,’ I protested.

They both looked at me.

‘Anyway,’ Jess cried. ‘Why didn’t Connor just lunge at you?’

‘JESS!’ I yelped, desperate for her to keep her voice down.

Despite my annoyance at Jess’s lack of subtlety, it was actually a question I had been asking myself too. Connor and I hadn’t seen much of each other during the Easter holidays. I’d had a bunch of things going on, including all of the celebrity events I now had to attend with Helena and Marianne, and Connor had been going to art lessons and working on his cartoon strip, The Amazing It Girl .

But still. There had been enough opportunities for him to, you know. Lunge at me.

‘It’s none of your business.’ I fumbled for my books and shoved them in my bag.

‘Oh please, it’s always our business. You’ve been thinking about it, I can tell,’ Jess teased.

‘I have not. Well, maybe a little. It’s just . . . do you think that . . . ?’

‘Ahem.’ Sophie Parker, the Queen Bee of Woodfield, had marched over with her ever-present sidekick Josie Graham. By the scowl on Josie’s face, she clearly still hadn’t forgiven me for setting her hair on fire last term.

‘Hello, Anna,’ Sophie said, coolly.

‘Hi, Sophie, how was your Easter?’

‘Great. I spent most of it with Brendan.’

I flinched. Brendan was the most popular boy in our school. In an attempt to prove my popularity last term I had accidentally (and temporarily) stolen him off Sophie. It was all sort of behind us now, though. Sort of. ‘That’s nice.’

‘It is,’ Josie sneered, from behind Sophie. ‘Because she’s Brendan’s girlfriend, duh. And it’s nice . . . being Brendan’s girlfriend.’

Danny snorted.

‘Thank you, Josie,’ Sophie hissed back at her. Josie looked embarrassed.