Frances Housden - The Man For Maggie

Max didn’t want to stop. He had to stop. Now—before he threw her on the floor and took her there and then, like an uncontrollable animal. A groan of pain ripped from him as he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away while he had the strength. The look in Maggie’s eyes almost broke his resolution as he set her back a step, leaving his hands as their only link.

He brushed his thumb over the full redness of a bottom lip that looked thoroughly kissed. “Seems the feeling is mutual.” Max heard her small gasp of shock as realization hit. “I ought to go while I’m still able.”

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Maggie felt like spitting tacks. So, he was right. The feeling was mutual. She’d been caught up every bit as much as Max, so much so that she hadn’t wanted to break the contact, the kiss. And it riled her that he’d been able to…to push her aside. It rankled that it could never happen again. He was wrong for her, wrong in every way. She’d lived the first part of her life with a man who hadn’t believed in her, and had no intention of getting caught up with another. One who called the part of her that should have been special “garbage!”

“This ends the moment you walk out that door,” she declared.

“You mean you want me to stay?”

“No, dammit! I mean this is it. Over! Kaput! I won’t hurt my best friend and I’ve no intention of having an affair with a man who reminds me of my father.”

“Don’t try to tell me you kissed your father like that. I won’t believe you.”

Maggie almost spat in disgust. “What I’m getting at is that my father never believed me, either. If he had, he’d be alive today and you wouldn’t even be in the picture. You’ve got too many counts against you, Max. I’ve already suffered at the hands of the police and now I’m gun-shy. I need a man who isn’t frightened of the unknown, one who can open his mind to the possibilities.”

“I never said I didn’t believe in fate.”

A rueful note wove its way into Maggie’s laughter. He was a beautiful man, and she bet he stripped off well. She’d already felt the lean strength of his arms and would like nothing better than to rest her head on the hard bulk of his chest at the end of a day when things had gotten too tough. She was tired of shouldering everything alone. Strength was good, but she wanted more, she wanted a man who would listen—listen and empathize—without cringing.

“I’ll bet before you met me, when Sergeant Gorman was slinging his mouth off to the tabloids, you thought I was weird.”

“Truth to tell, I probably thought a lot worse. I would have been separated about a year by then, and there was a lot of stuff I didn’t like about women, and so-called psychics would have topped the list.”

His words hit Maggie like a slap in the face, wiping out her last scrap of hope, a scrap she hadn’t even realized she’d been saving.

“Humph, that sounded pretty harsh. It wasn’t meant as a put-down—honest, Maggie.” He reached out, needing to touch her, but before he could caress her cheek, she stepped back.

“I thank heaven I’ll never have to experience your version of a put-down, as I doubt we’ll ever meet again. I think it’s time you went now. Don’t you?” Turning on her heel, she walked away, hoping Max would follow her. He was too big to throw out.

He followed in her footsteps, then slipped in front of her before she reached the archway. “Look, Maggie, the way I see it, you’ve got a history and I’ve got a history and we haven’t got time to go into them tonight. But what’s between us could be bigger than all of that, if only you’ll give it a chance.”

“And I think we used up all our chances long before we met. Everything we have going for us is on the debit side, and I can’t stand being in the red.” She moved around Max and headed for the door before he could attempt to change her mind.

Maggie gripped the handle tightly, ready to close the door the instant he walked through it. She supported herself with the doorknob and raised her heels from the floor. It wasn’t fair; Max’s height put all the advantage on his side.

“I want to hear you lock this door behind me,” he said, moving closer. “I don’t trust that security guard. He’s probably asleep behind his desk.”

She tilted her chin, refusing to be cowed. “Don’t worry, I’m going to make sure you can’t get back in.”

Max laughed and took her stubborn chin between his finger and thumb, then gave her a kiss meant to curl the toes she was standing on. When he lifted his mouth it was with reluctance, and as he straightened he could swear Maggie was swaying on her feet.

It didn’t stop her trying for the last word. “So, goodbye.”

“Wrong, Maggie. I’ll never kiss you goodbye. Only hello.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“I won’t. I’m not a betting man. So I’m going to count on it.”

Maggie leaned her back against the door after she’d locked it and a rap of Max’s fingers on the outside told her he was on his way.

Why did life have to be so complicated? She had enough problems without Max adding more. Despite his confidence, Maggie knew things could only get worse.

Without Max’s presence the apartment closed in on her and the air grew thick with memories of past apparitions. She shivered as she thought about going to bed. The last thing she wanted was to cushion her sleep and dream.

The baby was fussing again. For almost a week now, it had kept Maggie awake. Fussing and fretting, fussing and fretting, driving Maggie mad as it brought her maternal instincts screaming to the surface. Instincts she could do nothing to quash, as the source of her dilemma hid in the center of her mind where no human hand could find it. There were no ear-plugs or sleeping pills to fix what ailed her.

A baby fist reached inside her and twisted her gut, more tightly than any man’s could, with its demands for succor. She wanted, needed to find it, to comfort it and relieve herself of the torture her nights brought.

Maggie slammed her fist into the pillow, displacing the feathers. Hands above her head, she twisted and turned while attempting to cover her ears with the soft, insulating sound barrier.

There was no hiding from herself.

“Go away! Go to sleep and leave me alone…leave me alone.”

She didn’t want to cry. It was exhaustion, not self-pity, that spilled tears from her eyes. She tried unsuccessfully to focus on Max, anything but the plaintive cries in her head. Max wasn’t the answer. How dare he or any damn cop think she’d wished this on herself?

Pulling the pillow off her head, she slapped it a few more times and threw herself on top of its downy softness. She lay partly on her stomach, twisting sideways as she brought her knees up to ease the ache pulling at her insides. It was 11:02 p.m. by the bedside clock when the baby stopped crying and Maggie fell asleep.

And began to dream.

He stepped back from the bed to admire his handiwork and frowned. Under the heels of her shoes the duvet wrinkled slovenly. With care he slipped the shoes off, set them neatly at the side of the bed, then smoothed out the creases.

He sighed, thinking, I’ll bring my camera next time. Definitely. A ripple of pleasure caressed his senses. The way the red scarf picked up the flecks in her suit, she could almost have dressed for the occasion. Even the bedcovers, sprigged with roses, added to the overall effect. She had good taste. They made a beautiful picture. He’d arranged it just right. Madonna with child.

And the baby! So good, so angelic. No more crying now it had found its mother. The effort it had taken to tuck the babe against its mother’s breast had been worthwhile. Luckily she was a full-busted woman, ample. The child would never have to go without again.