Lynnette Kent - Matt's Family

“Sure, Daddy!” Erin loved the ocean.

“Can you carry me, Daddy?” And Jenny loved her father.

The voices faded as the foursome approached the water. Matt sat still, waiting for feeling and function to come back to his brain.

After the bath fiasco this afternoon, he should know what to expect. As far as Erin and Jenny knew, Luke was their father. The hard part for them was understanding what had changed, why their mother had divorced him and married another man.

The hard part for Matt was being that other man.

SUDDENLY UNABLE to sit still, Kristin got up and walked to the deck railing to stare out toward the ocean. Usually the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sun made life seem simpler, easier to manage.

Not today. Not with Matt closed off from her by a wall of hurt and misunderstanding. Not when she just kept making mistakes, each one more destructive than the last. Like getting pregnant nine years ago without being married. Then getting married to Luke because her baby’s father—Matt—was dead. And, finally, divorcing Luke and marrying Matt.

Out by the water, Luke and Sarah chased the girls. Jenny squealed as Luke caught her around the waist and lifted her high in the air. They made quite a picture—the handsome black-haired man and his precious silver-blond daughter.

Erin outran Sarah, then kept on running, just for the sheer joy of moving. She loved being outside, like her father. And she moved with the same easy stride, the same long-legged grace Kristin had always adored in Matt. Erin would be tall one day, with Matt’s blue eyes and his serious, considering stare. Luke was tall, too—cops had to be a certain height—but his eyes were a laughing gray and his body more compact than his brother’s.

When would Erin notice the differences? When would she ask to be told the truth?

“Is the grill ready, Matt?” Mrs. Brennan stepped out onto the deck.

“Yes, ma’am. Whenever you are.”

“Where are the girls?”

“On the beach with Luke and Sarah.”

Even from across the deck, Mrs. Brennan’s sigh indicated impatience. “Why does he always take them away just when we’re ready to eat?”

Matt didn’t answer. Kristin glanced at his back, which was all she could see, then turned again to the ocean and her own thoughts. Almost two years ago, before he’d even asked her to marry him, she’d made Matt a promise. One day, as soon as possible, Erin would be told that she was Matt’s daughter, as Jenny was Luke’s.

Every time Kristin thought about explaining, though, she felt physically sick. The revelations wouldn’t stop with Erin. Matt’s parents—and her own—would have to be told. When Erin was born, Kristin had let them all assume she was Luke’s daughter. Now everyone would be privy to the mistakes she had made, the poor judgment she’d used. Could she ever look anybody in the face again?

Especially her daughter?

Out on the beach, Erin stopped her cartwheels and waved. Kristin waved back, then motioned for them to come in. Mrs. Brennan would be waiting.

Matt was waiting, too. He never said a word, but Kristin could see the question in his eyes. When? he wanted to know. When can I tell her she’s mine?

She turned to watch her husband as he stood at the grill, flipping burgers and hot dogs. His straight back, his square shoulders filling out his blue knit shirt, were as much a part of him as his military haircut and his natural air of command.

But she could read the tension in his body. Luke’s relationship with the girls tortured Matt. Erin and Jenny were comfortable around Luke, sure of themselves and him. They spoke the same shorthand language, as people who lived—and loved—together often did. Erin and Jenny and Luke had been a family.

Until Kristin tore them apart.

BEFORE MRS. BRENNAN could get really upset, Luke brought the girls back. They rushed up the steps and across the deck toward the house. Erin stopped in the doorway. “Come on, Mommy. Let’s eat!”

Kristin joined the rest of the family in the kitchen. The air-conditioning raised goose bumps on her skin. She rubbed her arms, trying to get warm.

“Memorial Day is important.” Seated at the kitchen table with an arm around each granddaughter, Colonel Brennan started his annual remembrance speech. “Americans should take time to remember the men who have died serving their country.”

“And women,” Sarah said quietly. Kristin would never have been confident enough to make that comment, but Luke’s wife possessed a special brand of courage.

With a glance at his daughter-in-law, the Colonel cleared his throat. “For five years our family celebrated this day thinking we had lost someone we loved in the cause of freedom.”

Kristin fought back a shudder. For five years she’d thought Matt was dead, because the Army said so. She’d made herself a life during that time. A different one than she’d hoped for, true. But her daughters had been happy, and safe. Luke was a good man and a great dad.

The Colonel continued his comments. “Now we celebrate in thankfulness at having him returned to us.”

Then Matt came back. And everything changed.

Beside her, he shifted his weight. Kristin glanced up at his face and saw that his cheeks had reddened. His embarrassment was endearing, and she smiled at him, linking her elbow through his. He pressed her arm closer into his side.

“Daddy Matt was gone for five years?” Erin counted on her fingers. “He left before Jenny was born?”

Tension struck the room like a lightning bolt. Across the counter, Luke gave a quick smile and a small shrug, which left the answer up to Kristin. “That’s true, Erin,” she said. “Even—even before you were born.” Was that the right thing to say?

“Mommy, did you know Daddy Matt before I was born?”

“Of course, love. I knew…all the Brennans then, and for a long time before.” Matt had gone still as a stone beside her.

“But—” Erin stopped and seemed to reconsider her question.

“I’m hungry,” Jenny announced with a five-year-old’s directness.

“Of course, Jennifer, dear.” Mrs. Brennan placed a smooth, pale hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “Let your grandfather say grace, and I’ll make you a plate.”

During the prayer, Matt’s stiffness subsided. He didn’t draw away from Kristin, but he didn’t press her close again, either. Had she disappointed him? Should she have told the whole story right then, to everyone?

What, in God’s name, could she say?

With dinner finished and cleaned up—a task for which Mrs. Brennan refused to accept any help—the adults sat on the deck finishing coffee while the girls splashed in the pool. Matt seemed preoccupied—Kristin could guess with what.

After a pause, Luke sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “Sarah and I wanted to run something by you, Kristin.” He glanced at his brother. “And Matt. We’re spending a couple of weeks in the mountains in June and we’d like the girls to come with us. What do you think?”

Kristin couldn’t think at all, for a moment, couldn’t decide what her reaction should be.

“You’ll be back for our annual Independence Day party, of course,” Mrs. Brennan stated firmly. It was not a question.

Luke flashed his mother a grin. “Definitely.”

“We’re renting a condo with two bedrooms and a kitchen,” Sarah said, putting a hand on Kristin’s arm. “They’ll have lots of room.”

Kristin’s doubts had nothing to do with the accommodations. Before she could quite grasp her reasons, Matt stirred.

“I think it sounds great,” he said. “They’ll have a good time.”

Luke sat back in his chair. Obviously, he hadn’t missed the hint of reluctance in Matt’s comment. Just as obviously, he’d decided to ignore it. “Okay, then. We’ll be away the last two weeks of June—I’ll wait a while to tell them or they won’t sleep between now and then.”