Dyvina Sollena - Black Blood

Violet like her blood.

I remembered the day I wrote it; my thirteenth birthday was a few days away and I had heard my father saying those words. I passed by his studio on the way to the bathroom, those were the only words that reached my ear and stayed in my head for days.

«You used to keep it under your bed», Hanna declared going straight to my bed.

Her voice woke me from my childhood memories.

I saw her kneeling on the ground, almost sticking her head under the bed frame.

«There's a lot of dust here. But I can't see the casket», she said standing up.

She sneezed while cleaning her clothes.

«It has to be there», I objected.

I kept it exactly aligned with my pillow, if it wasn't there, then where else could had been?

I checked myself by using my smartphone flashlight. There was nothing under my bed, just a desert of grains covered with mites.

«Damn it!» I swore furiously, the one thing I was hoping to find in its place, however, was gone.

Hanna gently placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled softly at me.

«They might have moved it, let's check better!» she kindly said.

I agreed.

We searched every corner, every possible place. There was only the wardrobe left, if it wasn't there, I wouldn't know where else to look.

We were about to open the last door. It was divided into shelves and on the penultimate one at the top I was finally able to see an edge of the casket.

«Pass me the chair, please», I asked my best friend. I climbed into the chair until I grabbed it with both hands, then tossed it onto the bed.

Hanna reached it before I did and began to handle it.

«It is open!»

I was having a heart attack.

It had always been closed with a large padlock and I had the only key. I still guarded it with jealousy and no one had ever had a copy.

I examined the closure as it appeared to have been forced. I opened the lid to make sure all the contents were there.

There was my secret diary which I immediately passed on to Hanna. I started writing it at the age of seven and continued throughout adolescence. I found a horse plush; I had called it Lucky, it was a present from Josh and Hanna for my ninth birthday. I saw the letter my grandfather had written me for my eighteen years, it was precious, it said to chase my dreams and never give up even when life would have presented me its bills. Everything seemed to be there. I recognized a clear plastic folder with dates on it:

15th February 2008

21st June 2008

09th October 2008

I had found them.

Those were the articles about the three missing girls during 2008.

Exactly ten years ago.

The fact that the casket was open, however, was clearly not something I missed.

Had my parents done that?

And why without asking me?

It was not typical of them and I wouldn't have ignored the fact.

I took out the yellowed pieces of newspaper and handled one carefully.

«Look at this...» I suggested to my friend, leaning towards her:

«Katherine Holden. Twenty-two years. Missing», I turned the pages discovering other titles,

«Rachel Brant. Nineteen. Missing», I went on browsing.

«Julie Sullivan. Twenty-five. Missing», I concluded by showing Hanna the similarity with those facts that were affecting Hazycreek during those recent weeks.

She looked at those clippings with perplexity then looked me in the eyes.

«Sullivan, as your boss. Was she the daughter?»

«Yes. I remembered that later her disappearance was denied. They claimed that Julie had moved to London, but she has never been seen in town again», I explained, recalling the events little by little.

«Are you assuming that this is happening again?» she mumbled.

«I am not sure, this might be a coincidence», I replied studying those articles.

I thought of Sebastian and his family.

None of those writings mentioned it, or rather, not in an explicit way, they often went around it and talked about destiny, as if it was a justification for everything.

I needed more information.

Could the Winterbourne family be responsible for those crimes?

I didn't want to believe it; I couldn't bear the idea that Sebastian was involved. Handsome, rich and divinely asshole, but I couldn't think of him as a killer.

Suddenly I remembered what he had said at the editorial insinuating that Hazycreek's rumors were true.

I took them for simple provocations while he kept me stuck to the elevator wall.

Our faces were extremely close.

I had felt his breath caressing my skin and my mind had created an almost indecent situation.

For a moment I wanted him to kiss me, feeling his mouth on mine, his hands over me.

I had just touched his chest, only imagining its perfection.

I felt a fervor inside, a craving out of my control, like a dangerous obsession from which I could not escape.

What's happening to me? Why do I think of him that way?

I watched Hanna out of the corner of my eye, I was dying to tell her everything, to explain what had occurred inside me in the last few days and ask her for advice on how to behave.

She was absorbed in her thoughts and dark-faced as she read the newspaper texts. I stood up and began pacing back and forth, took a deep breath and stood in front of my best friend.

«If I confess something to you, can you promise that you'll be listening to what I say, analyse the situation and just shut up until the end?» I said in bursts like a machine gun.

Hanna looked at me wide-eyed, stood up and grabbed me by the arms.

«You are having a panic attack! Sit down!» she ordered me alarmed.

What the fuck!

I thought incredulous in front of such idiocy.

I was talkative, it meant that I was not calm, that something troubled me, but nothing more serious.

«I am not panicking!», I objected, freeing myself from her grip.

«You're ranting. It never happens to you», she argued, putting her hands on her hips.

I sighed ruffling my tawny hair, it was useless to stall, I had to tell her.

«I might have a crush on Sebastian Winterbourne», I sighed in a whisper.

I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breathing steady and controlled.

«Are you out of your mind, Reb?»

Hanna's scream was piercing, forcing me to squint and shield my ears.

«How can I know? I find him an arrogant daddy's boy, haughty and brash. But he is also interesting...»

Hanna sprinted towards me and grabbed my face with one hand, peering carefully into my eyes.

«Are you under dose?»

«I'm not, for God's Sakes! Is it so wrong?» I replied, offended and sullen.

«He is a Thirsty , Reb! Are you having a crush on... a monster?» she hissed in a low voice, looking over her shoulder.

She was terrified.

«This is not a typical crush; I believe this is something more physical...» I paused, «I think I am attracted by him.»

Hanna turned to the window and after grabbing my old diary from the top of the mattress, she began to leaf through it.

She was so angry that she didn't even want to talk to me.

«Why are you always choosing the most difficult way?» she asked without changing position.

«Because it is me. Rebecca Janette Cross: rebel since I was born, curious by nature and… anarchist in the blood.»

As Sebastian said.

I fought back his thought that punctually was appearing gain, I could feel it, elbowing its way just to come back to my mind.

«Be careful, Reb. Keep always your eyes open», she retorted disinterestedly, turning to me. She was reading with a frown on something I had written.

I was about to say something when Hanna placed under my nose my outbursts as a child.

«Read it!»

“Today a girl went missing. They said in the news. My mom and dad got worried. They told me not to talk to strangers and not to go near the Winterbourne family. Sebastian doesn't look bad. He is a child who comes to school with me. He is always alone. "