Array The griffin classics - William Shakespeare - Complete Collection

Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir [Nathaniel], as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be [rend’red] by our [assistance,] the King’s command, and this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the Princess, I say none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.

Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?

Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself; and this gallant gentleman, Judas Machabeus; this swain (because of his great limb or joint) shall pass Pompey the Great; the page, Hercules.

Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that Worthy’s thumb, he is not so big as the end of his club.

Hol. Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in minority; his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.

Moth. An excellent device! so if any of the audience hiss, you may cry, “Well done, Hercules, now thou crushest the snake!” That is the way to make an offense gracious, though few have the grace to do it.

Arm. For the rest of the Worthies?

Hol. I will play three myself.

Moth. Thrice-worthy gentleman!

Arm. Shall I tell you a thing?

Hol. We attend.

Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an antic. I beseech you follow.

Hol. Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while.

Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir.

Hol. [Allons!] we will employ thee.

Dull.

I’ll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play

On the tabor to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.

Hol.

Most dull, honest Dull! to our sport; away!

Exeunt.

¶

Enter the Ladies: [the Princess, Maria, Katherine, and Rosaline].

Prin.

Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,

If fairings come thus plentifully in.

A lady wall’d about with diamonds!

Look you what I have from the loving King.

Ros.

Madam, came nothing else along with that?

Prin.

Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme

As would be cramm’d up in a sheet of paper,

Writ a’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,

That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.

Ros.

That was the way to make his godhead wax,

For he hath been five thousand year a boy.

Kath.

Ay, and a shrowd unhappy gallows too.

Ros.

You’ll ne’er be friends with him, ’a kill’d your sister.

Kath.

He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy,

And so she died. Had she been light, like you,

Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,

She might ’a’ been [a] grandam ere she died.

And so may you; for a light heart lives long.

Ros.

What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?

Kath.

A light condition in a beauty dark.

Ros.

We need more light to find your meaning out.

Kath.

You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;

Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.

Ros.

Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.

Kath.

So do not you, for you are a light wench.

Ros.

Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.

Kath.

You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.

Ros.

Great reason: for past care is still past cure.

Prin.

Well bandied both, a set of wit well played.

But, Rosaline, you have a favor too?

Who sent it? and what is it?

Ros.

I would you knew.

And if my face were but as fair as yours,

My favor were as great: be witness this.

Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;

The numbers true, and, were the numb’ring too,

I were the fairest goddess on the ground.

I am compar’d to twenty thousand fairs.

O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!

Prin.

Any thing like?

Ros.

Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.

Prin.

Beauteous as ink—a good conclusion.

Kath.

Fair as a text B in a copy-book.

Ros.

Ware pencils [ho]! let me not die your debtor,

My red dominical, my golden letter:

O that your face were not so full of O’s!

Prin.

A pox of that jest! and I beshrow all shrows.

But, Katherine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?

Kath.

Madam, this glove.

Prin.

Did he not send you twain?

Kath.

Yes, madam, and moreover

Some thousand verses of a faithful lover.

A huge translation of hypocrisy,

Vildly compiled, profound simplicity.

Mar.

This, and these [pearls], to me sent Longaville.

The letter is too long by half a mile.

Prin.

I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart

The chain were longer and the letter short?

Mar.

Ay, or I would these hands might never part.

Prin.

We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

Ros.

They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.

That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.

O that I knew he were but in by th’ week!

How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,

And wait the season, and observe the times,

And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,

And shape his service wholly to my device,

And make him proud to make me proud that jests!

So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state

That he should be my fool and I his fate.

Prin.

None are so surely caught, when they are catch’d,

As wit turn’d fool; folly, in wisdom hatch’d,

Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school,

And wit’s own grace to grace a learned fool.

Ros.

The blood of youth burns not with such excess

As gravity’s revolt to [wantonness].

Mar.

Folly in fools bears not so strong a note

As fool’ry in the wise, when wit doth dote,

Since all the power thereof it doth apply

To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

Enter Boyet.

Prin.

Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

Boyet.

O, I am [stabb’d] with laughter! Where’s her Grace?

Prin.

Thy news, Boyet?

Boyet.

Prepare, madam, prepare!

Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are

Against your peace. Love doth approach disguis’d,

Armed in arguments—you’ll be surpris’d.

Muster your wits, stand in your own defense,

Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.

Prin.

Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they

That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.

Boyet.

Under the cool shade of a sycamore

I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;

When lo, to interrupt my purpos’d rest,

Toward that shade I might behold address’d

The King and his companions. Warily

I stole into a neighbor thicket by,

And overheard what you shall overhear:

That by and by disguis’d [they] will be here.

Their herald is a pretty knavish page,

That well by heart hath conn’d his embassage.

Action and accent did they teach him there:

“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear”;

And ever and anon they made a doubt

Presence majestical would put him out;

“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;