Joseph Murphy - 10 Masterpieces You Have to Read Before You Die 2

For example, I once talked with a woman who husband was a dope fiend, an ex-convict, a wife beater and a non provider. She had been told it was wrong to get a divorce. I explained to her that marriage is of the heart. If two hearts blend harmoniously, lovingly and sincerely, that is the ideal marriage. The pure action of the heart is love.

Following this explanation she knew what to do. She knew in her heart that there is no divine law which compelled her to be browbeaten, intimidated and beaten because someone said, “I pronounce you man and wife.” If you are in doubt as to what to do, ask for guidance, knowing that there is always an answer, and you will receive it. Follow the lead that comes to you in the silence of your soul. It speaks to you in peace.

Drifting Into Divorce

Recently a young couple, married only for a few months, were seeking a divorce. I discovered that the young man had a constant fear that his wife would leave him. He expected rejection and he believed that she would be unfaithful. These thoughts haunted his mind and became an obsession with him. His mental attitude was one of separation and suspicion. She felt unresponsive to him; it was his own feeling or atmosphere of loss and separation operating through them. This brought about a condition or action in accordance with the mental pattern behind it. There is a law of action and reaction, or cause and effect. The thought is the action and the response of the subconscious mind is the reaction.

His wife left home and asked for a divorce which is what he feared and believed she would do.

Divorce Begins In The Mind

Divorce takes place first in the mind; the legal proceedings follow after. These two young people were full of resentment, fear, suspicion and anger. These attitudes weaken, exhaust and debilitate the whole being. They learned that hate divides and that love unites. They began to realize what they had been doing with their minds. Neither one of them knew the law of mental action, and they were misusing their minds and bringing on chaos and misery. These two people went back together at my suggestion and experimented with prayer therapy.

They began to radiate love, peace and good will to each other. Each one practiced radiating harmony, health, peace and love to the other and they alternated in the reading of the Psalms every night. Their marriage is growing more beautiful every day.

The Nagging Wife

Many times the reason the wife nags is because she gets no attention. Oftentimes, it is a craving for love and affection. Give your wife attention and show your appreciation. Praise and exalt all her many good points. There is also the nagging type of woman who wants to make the man conform to her particular patter. This is about the quickest way in the world to get rid of a man.

The wife and the husband must cease being scavengers always looking at the petty faults or errors in each other. Let each give attention and praise for the constructive and wonderful qualities in the other.

The Brooding Husband

If a man begins to brood, grows morbid against his wife because of the things she said or did, he is, psychologically speaking, committing adultery. One of the meanings of adultery is idolatry, i.e. giving attention to or uniting mentally with that which is negative and destructive. When a man is silently resenting his wife and is full of hostility toward her, he is unfaithful. He is not faithful to his marriage vows which are to love, cherish and honor her all the days of his life.

The man who is brooding, bitter and resentful can swallow his sharp remarks, abate his anger and he can go to great lengths to be considerate, kind and courteous. He can deftly skirt the differences. Through praise and mental effort, he can get out of the habit of antagonism. Then, he will be able to get along better, not only with his wife, but with business associates also. Assume the harmonious state and eventually you will find peace and harmony.

The Great Mistake

A great mistake is to discuss your marital problems or difficulties with neighbors and relatives. Suppose, for example, a wife say to the neighbor, “John never gives me any money. He treats my mother abominably, drinks to excess and is constantly abusive and insulting.”

Now, this wife is degrading and belittling her husband in the eyes of all the neighbors and relatives. He no longer appears as the ideal husband to them. Never discuss your marital problems with anyone except a trained counselor. Why cause numerous people to think negatively of your marriage? Moreover, as you discuss and dwell upon these shortcomings of your husband, you are actually creating these states within yourself. Who is thinking and feeling it? You are! As you think and feel, so are you.

Relatives will usually give you the wrong advice. It is usually biased and prejudiced because it is not given in an impersonal way. Any advice you receive which violates the golden rule which is a cosmic law, is not good or sound.

It is well to remember that no two human beings ever lived beneath the same roof without clashes of temperament, periods of hurts and stain. Never display the unhappy side of your marriage to your friends. Keep your quarrels to yourself. Refrain from criticism and condemnation of your partner.

Don't Try To Make Your Wife Over

A husband must not try to make his wife into a second edition of himself. The tactless attempt to change her in many ways is foreign to her nature. These attempts are always foolish and many times result in a dissolution of the marriage. These attempts to alter her, destroy her pride and self-esteem, and arouse a spirit of contrariness and resentment that proves fatal to the marriage bond.

Adjustments are needed, of course, but if you have a good look inside your own mind, and study your character and behavior, you will find so many shortcomings; they will keep you busy the rest of your life. If you say, “I will make him over into what I want,” you are looking for trouble and the divorce court. You are asking for misery. You will have to learn the hard way that there is no one to change but yourself.

Pray Together & Stay Together Through Steps In Prayer

The First Step

Never carry over from one day to another accumulated irritations arising from little disappointments. Be sure to forgive each other for any sharpness before you retire at night. The moment you awaken in the morning, claim Infinite Intelligence is guiding you in all your ways. Send out loving thoughts of peace, harmony and love to your marriage partner, to all members of the family and to the whole world.

The Second Step

Say grace at breakfast. Give thanks for the wonderful food, for your abundance and for all your blessings. Makes sure that no problems, worries or arguments shall enter into the table conversation; the same applies at dinner time. Say to your wife or husband, “I appreciate all you are doing and I radiate love and good will to you all day long.”

The Third Step

The husband and wife should alternate in praying each night. Do not take your marriage partner for granted. Show your appreciation and love. Think appreciation and good will, rather than condemnation, criticism and nagging. The way to build a peaceful home and a happy marriage is to use a foundation of love, beauty, harmony, mutual respect, faith in God and all things good. Read the 23 rd, 27 thand 91 stPsalms, the 11 thchapter of Hebrews, the 13 thchapter of 1 Corinthians and other great texts of the Bible before going to sleep. As you practice these truths, your marriage will grow more and more blessed through the years.

Review Your Actions