Array MyBooks Classics - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Illustrated edition (37 plays, 160 sonnets and 5 Poetry Books With Active Table of Contents)

What, are we cuckolds ere we have deserv’d it?

Por.

Speak not so grossly, you are all amaz’d.

Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.

It comes from Padua, from Bellario.

There you shall find that Portia was the doctor,

Nerissa there her clerk. Lorenzo here

Shall witness I set forth as soon as you,

And even but now return’d; I have not yet

Enter’d my house. Antonio, you are welcome,

And I have better news in store for you

Than you expect. Unseal this letter soon;

There you shall find three of your argosies

Are richly come to harbor suddenly.

You shall not know by what strange accident

I chanced on this letter.

Ant.

I am dumb.

Bass.

Were you the doctor, and I knew you not?

Gra.

Were you the clerk that is to make me cuckold?

Ner.

Ay, but the clerk that never means to do it,

Unless he live until he be a man.

Bass.

Sweet doctor, you shall be my bedfellow—

When I am absent, then lie with my wife.

Ant.

Sweet lady, you have given me life and living,

For here I read for certain that my ships

Are safely come to road.

Por.

How now, Lorenzo?

My clerk hath some good comforts too for you.

Ner.

Ay, and I’ll give them him without a fee.

There do I give to you and Jessica,

From the rich Jew, a special deed of gift,

After his death, of all he dies possess’d of.

Lor.

Fair ladies, you drop manna in the way

Of starved people.

Por.

It is almost morning,

And yet I am sure you are not satisfied

Of these events at full. Let us go in,

And charge us there upon inter’gatories,

And we will answer all things faithfully.

Gra.

Let it be so. The first inter’gatory

That my Nerissa shall be sworn on is,

Whether till the next night she had rather stay,

Or go to bed now, being two hours to day.

But were the day come, I should wish it dark

Till I were couching with the doctor’s clerk.

Well, while I live I’ll fear no other thing

So sore, as keeping safe Nerissa’s ring.

Exeunt.

¶

William Hodges , p. — John Browne , e.

William Shakespeare

( 1597, revised 1600–1601 )

“Bad” Quarto, 1602; First Folio, 1623.

windsor

¶

Act I

Sc. I Sc. II Sc. III Sc. IV

Act II

Sc. I Sc. II Sc. III

Act III

Sc. I Sc. II Sc. III Sc. IV Sc. V

Act IV

Sc. I Sc. II Sc. III Sc. IV Sc. V Sc. VI

Act V

Sc. I Sc. II Sc. III Sc. IV Sc. V

[Dramatis Personae

Sir John Falstaff

Fenton , a gentleman

Robert Shallow , a country justice

Abraham Slender , cousin to Shallow

Francis Ford ,

George Page , gentlemen of Windsor

William Page , a boy, son to Page

Sir Hugh Evans , a Welsh parson

Doctor Caius , a French physician

Host of the Garter Inn

Bardolph ,

Pistol ,

Nym , followers of Falstaff

Robin , page to Falstaff

Peter Simple , servant to Slender

John Rugby , servant to Doctor Caius

–––––

Mistress Alice Ford

Mistress Margaret Page

Mistress Anne Page , her daughter

Mistress Quickly , servant to Doctor Caius

–––––

Servants to Page, Ford, etc.

Scene: Windsor , and the neighborhood]

Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, Sir Hugh Evans.

Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter of it. If he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace and Coram.

Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and Custa-lorum.

Slen. Ay, and Rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson, who writes himself Armigero, in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, Armigero.

Shal. Ay, that I do, and have done any time these three hundred years.

Slen. All his successors (gone before him) hath done’t; and all his ancestors (that come after him) may. They may give the dozen white luces in their coat.

Shal. It is an old coat.

Evans. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant. It is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.

Shal. The luce is the fresh fish, the salt fish is an old coat.

Slen. I may quarter, coz.

Shal. You may, by marrying.

Evans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

Shal. Not a whit.

Evans. Yes, py’r lady. If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.

Shal. The Council shall hear it, it is a riot.

Evans. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot. Take your vizaments in that.

Shal. Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master [George] Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.

Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire, and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

Slen. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

Slen. I know the young gentlewoman, she has good gifts.

Evans. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

Shal. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Evans. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech you be rul’d by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks.] What ho! Got pless your house here!

Page [Within.] Who’s there?

[Enter] Page.

Evans. Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow, and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much good do it your good heart! I wish’d your venison better, it was ill kill’d. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.