William Shakespeare - The Complete Apocryphal Works of William Shakespeare - All 17 Rare Plays in One Edition

SEGASTO.

What, from nothing?

MOUSE. I warrant you, yes, I saw something, for there was two load of thorns besides my bottle of hay, and that made three.

SEGASTO.

But tell me, sirra, the bear that thou didst see,

Did she not bear a bucket on her arm?

MOUSE. Ha, ha, ha! I never saw bear go a milking in my life. But hark you, sir, I did not look so high as her arm: I saw nothing but her white head, and her white belly.

SEGASTO.

But tell me, sirra, where dost thou dwell?

MOUSE.

Why, do you not know me?

SEGASTO.

Why no, how should I know thee?

MOUSE. Why, then, you know no body, and you know not me. I tell you, sir, I am the goodman rats son of the next parish over the hill.

SEGASTO.

Goodman rats son: why, what’s thy name?

MOUSE.

Why, I am very near kin unto him.

SEGASTO.

I think so, but what’s thy name?

MOUSE. My name? I have a very pretty name; I’ll tell you what my name is: my name is Mouse.

SEGASTO.

What, plain Mouse?

MOUSE. Aye, plain mouse with out either welt or guard. But do you hear, sir, I am but a very young mouse, for my tail is scarce grown out yet; look you here else.

SEGASTO.

But, I pray thee, who gave thee that name?

MOUSE. Faith, sir, I know not that, but if you would fain know, ask my father’s great horse, for he hath been half a year longer with my father than I have.

SEGASTO.

This seems to be a merry fellow;

I care not if I take him home with me.

Mirth is a comfort to a troubled mind,

A merry man a merry master makes.

How saist thou, sirra, wilt thou dwell with me?

MOUSE. Nay, soft, sir, two words to a bargain: pray you, what occupation are you?

SEGASTO.

No occupation, I live upon my lands.

MOUSE. Your lands! away, you are no master for me: why, do you think that I am so mad, to go seek my living in the lands amongst the stones, briars, and bushes, and tear my holy day apparel? not I, by your leave.

SEGASTO.

Why, I do not mean thou shalt.

MOUSE.

How then?

SEGASTO. Why, thou shalt be my man, and wait upon me at the court.

MOUSE.

What’s that?

SEGASTO.

Where the King lies.

MOUSE.

What’s that same King, a man or woman?

SEGASTO.

A man as thou art.

MOUSE. As I am? hark you, sir; pray you, what kin is he to good man king of our parish, the church warden?

SEGASTO.

No kin to him; he is the King of the whole land.

MOUSE.

King of the land! I never see him.

SEGASTO. If thou wilt dwell with me, thou shalt see him every day.

MOUSE. Shall I go home again to be torn in pieces with bears? no, not I. I will go home & put on a clean shirt, and then go drown my self.

SEGASTO. Thou shalt not need; if thou wilt dwell with me, thou shalt want nothing.

MOUSE. Shall I not? then here’s my hand; I’ll dwell with you. And hark you, sir, now you have entertained me, I will tell you what I can do: I can keep my tongue from picking and stealing, and my hands from lying and slandering, I warrant you, as well as ever you had man in all your life.

SEGASTO.

Now will I to court with sorrowful heart, rounded with

doubts.

If Amadine do live, then happy I:

Yea, happy I, if Amadine do live.

[Exeunt.]

ACT II.

SCENE I. The Camp of the King of Arragon.

[Enter the King with a young prince prisoner, Amadine,

Tremelio, with Collen and counselors.]

KING.

Now, brave Lords, our wars are brought to end,

Our foes to the foil, and we in safety rest:

It us behooves to use such clemency

In peace as valour in the war

It is as great honor to be bountiful

At home as to be conquerors in the field.

Therefore, my Lords, the more to my content,

Your liking, and your country’s safeguard,

We are disposed in marriage for to give

Our daughter to Lord Segasto here,

Who shall succeed the diadem after me,

And reign hereafter as I tofore have done,

Your sole and lawful King of Arragon:

What say you, Lordings, like you of my advise?

COLLEN. And please your Majesty, we do not only allow of your highness pleasure, but also vow faithfully in what we may to further it.

KING.

Thanks, good my Lords, if long Adrostus live,

He will at full requite your courtesies.

Tremelio,

In recompense of thy late valour done,

Take unto thee the Catalonea prince,

Lately our prisoner taken in the wars.

Be thou his keeper, his ransom shall be thine:

We’ll think of it when leisure shall afford:

Mean while, do use him well; his father is a King.

TREMELIO.

Thanks to your Majesty: his usage shall be such,

As he thereat shall think no cause to grutce.

[Exeunt Tremelio and Prince.]

KING.

Then march we on to court, and rest our wearied limbs.

But, Collen, I have a tale in secret kept for thee:

When thou shalt hear a watch word from thy king,

Think then some weighty matter is at hand

That highly shall concern our state,

Then, Collen, look thou be not far from me:

And for thy service thou to fore hast done,

Thy trueth and valour proud in every point,

I shall with bounties thee enlarge therefore:

So guard us to the court.

COLLEN.

What so my sovereign doth command me do,

With willing mind I gladly yield consent.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II. The same.

[Enter Segasto, and the Clown with weapons about him.]

SEGASTO.

Tell me, sirra, how do you like your weapons?

MOUSE.

O very well, very well, they keep my sides warm.

SEGASTO. They keep the dogs from your shins very well, do they not?

MOUSE. How, keep the dogs from my shins? I would scorn but my shins should keep the dogs from them.