Severin Corti - The Wiener Schnitzel Love Book!

Initially, I thought that such passion for passing a judgement without arriving at one or for setting out a stance without having one in the first place was a kind of pantheistic degeneracy of the sense of ego that is enhanced by eating well. I saw it as a variation of the urge to reach out to millions and as a consequence of increased vitality seeking to dispense its surpluses in an offhand manner. But then I realised that this wondrous apparition has its foundations in a simple psychological process – a straightforward brain burp .

Consuming meat and desserts causes increased blood pressure. The extraneous and confused material floating around inside the brain is then pushed upwards and out. The pleasurable sensations obviously experienced by the speaker are expelled in the same way as the conventional singultus communis burp given by persons of a coarser nature following a good meal.

ALFRED DORFER,

JOSEF HADER,

PAUL HARATHER

The feature film “Indien” was made in 1993 and has long since become part of Austria’s cultural heritage. It tells the story of two restaurant inspectors named Heinz Bösel and Kurt Fellner. These roles are played by Josef Hader und Alfred Dorfer, who also wrote the screenplay together with their director Paul Harather. The film provides a perfect illustration of the way in which Austrians see themselves by telling of their close and special relationship to all foods that are baked in fat. One famous scene is entitled “At the railway crossing”. As the pair chat in their car, Heinz Bösel (Josef Hader) tries to draw a few parallels between his own culinary preferences and the vegetarianism embraced by his colleague Fellner (Alfred Dorfer). Paul Harather was kind enough to allow us to make a copy of the original script .

WOLFGANG KRALICEK

I

Thou shalt have no other schnitzel before me.

This particularly includes any unbreaded schnitzels

and schnitzels that are coated in something other

than breadcrumbs.

II

Thou shalt also honour the pork schnitzel.

Yes, a true Wiener Schnitzel is made of veal.

But the pork version is also worthy of respect.

III

Thou shalt keep the day of the schnitzel holy.

Schnitzel day is Sunday. But it can also be said that

schnitzel turns every day into a Sunday.

IV

Thou shalt not kill for a schnitzel.

Who knows how often schnitzel is served in prison?

V

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.

Restaurants which display pictures of schnitzels in

their menus should be treated with caution.

VI

Thou shalt eat a potato salad to accompany thy schnitzel.

This is simply the best match. Only children

are permitted chips, although everyone

may partake if the schnitzel is served at a buffet

at an open-air swimming pool.

VII

Thou shalt add no sauce to thy schnitzel.

Yes, that means no ketchup either.

Only lemon and cranberry are allowed.

VIII

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s schnitzel.

Unless you are married to him or her.

IX

Thou shalt not eat only veal or pork schnitzel.

Gordon Bleu is also a tasty option.

X

Thou shalt not leave thy schnitzel behind.

When you have reached your limit,

have it wrapped up in foil.

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