Thorstein Veblen - Achieving Prosperity - Ultimate Collection

Your manner should convey the idea of self-respect, but should likewise show a delicate consideration for the likes and dislikes of others. If you lack the latter quality, you should cultivate it by all means, as it is of paramount importance in creating friends and in gaining the favor of Active partners, the latter being only human in spite of their rough exteriors. If you will carry in your mind this thought: "I act toward you as I would like you to act toward me," and make the thought take form in action, you will acquire this valuable quality.

Cultivate a frank, open manner. Most people like it. Be earnest when you talk. It not only holds the attention of the people to whom you are talking, but is a valuable aid to you in having your suggestions accepted, and, besides, is an important factor in imparting force to your thought vibrations. Cultivate a firm, honest, manly handshake. Nobody likes to have thrust upon him a flabby limp hand. You don't yourself. Do not forget this. If you have not the proper handshake, start to work and get it at once. Shake hands with everyone as if he were your best girl's millionaire father. And then look people square in the eye. I will have more to say about the power of the eye, in the next lesson, but I wish to call your attention to it in connection with the hearty handshake. The two go together.

Cultivate an agreeable tone of voice, avoiding a mumbling utterance on the one hand, and a loud boisterous tone on the other. An excellent rule is to pitch the voice to the tone of the party with whom you are conversing, providing always that you do not shout in order to keep pace with the other person. If the other man shouts, keep you own voice even and subdued, and he will soon drop to your pitch. This, by the way, is a good plan to a adopt with a person who is excited and is attempting to give you a good "tongue lashing." In such a case keep your temper and see that your voice is subdued and steady, and you will find the voice of the other man (or woman) gradually dropping down to your pitch. As he lowers his voice his temper subsides, and he feels ashamed, and you have won the day. Try it. There is much in the voice. A flexible, well-modulated voice is most pleasing, and wins many victories for its fortunate possessor. Let your voice express the shade of feeling, which you wish to convey. This is one of the most potent forms of suggestion. An expressive voice is one of the principal tools of the successful suggestionist.

The student must not despair if he lacks some of the important requisites to success above mentioned. He should know that every one of these gifts is within his reach, if he will but take the trouble to acquire it. I explain this point fully in Character Building.

Another very important medium of influencing others, including our old Active partner, is the Eye. The Human Eye! Who does not know its power, and yet how few know how to acquire the secret offense and defense, and its aid in influencing man and the lower animals, and yet not begin to exhaust the subject. I will devote our next lesson to an explanation of the use of the eye as an influencing medium; how to acquire the "magnetic gaze"; and how to avoid the influence of the eyes of others.

Table of Content

The most potent means of influencing others - The reasons - The trained eye, a powerful weapon - Mental vibrations conveyed by the eye - Its power over wild beast and savages - Steady gaze almost unbearable - Proper use of the eye - Fascination and hypnotic attraction - The magnetic gaze - The beginning of the interview - How to use the eye to command attention - How to hold attention - How to regain attention - Get what you want before you leave - Self-protection - How to prevent others from influencing you - How to say "No!" - How to give suggestions.

The eye is one of the most potent means of influencing others. It not only serves to hold the attention of the person to whom you are talking, thereby rendering it easier to impress your suggestions upon him; but it is also a power in itself, which when properly used is the means of impressing your will upon another. It attracts, fascinates, and holds spellbound the Active partner, and gives you a chance to talk with the easy-going brother. The eye of the man, who has mastered the law of mental control, is a powerful weapon. It conveys the strong mental vibrations direct to the mind of the other party, at short range. You have heard of the power of the human eye over wild beast and savages, and many of you have met with men who seemed to look clear through you and whose steady gaze was almost unbearable. I will give you a few exercises, in our next lesson, which will aid you in acquiring what is known as the "magnetic gaze," a most important acquisition for the student of personal influence. In this lesson, I will assume that you have already acquired the "magnetic gaze." The proper use of the eye, in interviews with other persons, will enable you to exert an influence over them something akin to fascination or hypnotic attraction. This is the result of strong mental vibrations conveyed at short range by means of the magnetic gaze of the trained eye.

You, of course will be governed by the circumstances of each particular case, and it is difficult to give you general directions applicable to all cases. You must adapt these general instructions to suit the emergence of each particular case as it arises.

One of the most important things about the beginning of an interview is that you should look the other person squarely in the eye, with a firm, steady "magnetic gaze." You need not stare at him, but your gaze must be steady and firm, and indicative of strong will power and concentration. During the conversations you may change the direction of your gaze, but whenever you make a proposition, statement or request, or whatever you wish to impress him strongly, you must direct a firm, steady magnetic gaze towards him, looking him straight in the eye. This is highly important and must not be neglected. When you are talking business, have an earnest, determined look or manner and hold the other man's attention. If you have a request to make, make it in a clear, dignified, earnest manner, keeping your eyes fixed upon his, and willing at the same time that he will do as you say. By all means prevent him from looking away from you at this point. You must hold his attention at all hazards. If you have his whole attention, the Active brother, will be too engrossed to bother about his easy brother, and the latter will draw near and hear what you are saying. If the other party avoids your gaze, you can sometimes regain his attention by looking away yourself (watching him all the time out of the corner of your eye) and as soon as he finds that you are looking the other way he will be opt to steal a glance at you. You must watch for this stolen glance, and the moment you find his eye turned towards your face you must quickly turn you eye and give a quick, sharp determined look, keeping your eyes fastened upon his, and holding his look by an effort of the will. Right there is a good point for you to drive in your little nail. You have him at a disadvantage, and the psychological moment has arrived for driving in a strong suggestion.

If you cannot get him to look at you in the way above mentioned, it is a very good plan to have something to show him; a sample, picture, or some other object ascertaining to your business. You will find that after he looks at the object shown him, he will raise his eyes to yours. He will do this every time, and you must be ready for him with a firm, magnetic gaze and a strong suggestion. If you can keep a mans attention, and can manage to look squarely at him during the interview, you will surely influence him to a greater or lesser extent; unless he is well posted on this subject in which case it will be very difficult to influence him by direct means. Very few people, however, possess this knowledge and you need not figure that element into the ordinary calculation. You may find that the other man will begin to feel that you are gaining some sort of influence over him, and he may in self-defense endeavor to terminate the interview. This you must not permit, for you have gained an influence and you must follow it up. Do not leave him until you get what you came for.