Elouise Edron - In The Night Time

I stayed silent, waiting for more information and less compliments. Although, it did feel good to know that he thought so highly of me.

“You'd be taking phone calls, making schedules, taking money, doing laundry... you know, ‘sex work’ things." He replied as if I was overtly familiar with the load.

"Oh, well, that’s ok then!” I proclaimed with infamy. “Just ‘sex work things’ and creating happy endings for men all about town so they can cheat on their wives and not get caught. Sounds perfect. I’m glad I can put my brains to good use!” I instantly thought back to my childhood as the rift between my parents grew, and my father’s cheating became more obvious. While I was slightly relieved that he indeed had a role where I could use my skills to plan, organise and tell men what to do, I couldn’t fathom the guilt at being a pawn in the process of others infidelity. I thought about it for a moment before I hesitantly replied. “I’m sorry Paul, but I don’t think I can do it. What would I tell everyone? How could I live with myself?”

I was confused by the rush of power and excitement that surged within me as I thought of leading a ‘double life’, yet the anxiety that rose with the reality, was something I needn’t neglect.

"Nothing... You can make up a story about being a PA, pick a company no-one’s heard of, and I guarantee you, no one is going to care. Tell them you answer phones, manage schedules or whatever. At least you wouldn’t be lying. The only reason I told you it was a PA role last night, was because I wanted you to call me.”

He paused, trying to hold back his delight, knowing that he might’ve had me hooked.

“Bianca, let your pride subside, and just say yes. You can make an informed decision after you’ve met him and seen the place. I’ve got a tonne of other girls that would be chomping at the bit for a role like this to get through uni, so if you don’t want it…"

I buried my face into my hands and held my breath as I teetered on the edge of making what could be the most foolish decision of my life, worrying it’d come back to haunt me. My head was saying no, but the intrigue and excitement in my gut was pleading yes.

"Sure," I said coyly, surprised at how easy my answer leaked from my lips.

"Fantastic, I'll call you back and confirm a time and place." He sounded pleased with himself, instantly making me feel like I had made the right decision. I was grateful for the interest he was taking when he could’ve easily walked away. For once, it felt nice that there was a man in my life who wasn’t going to give up when things got hard. Sure, it wasn’t my ‘dream role’ on offer, but it would be a great opportunity to become financially free.

"Will you be there too?" I asked shyly at the realisation that he may have cared for me more than he let on. Suddenly, Paul seemed like a good ally to have, and perhaps as time went on, maybe even a good friend. I was beginning to trust him and asking for his help was my way of making sure he knew it.

"Yes, I can hold your hand if you want." He chuckled quietly, knowing the walls around me were coming down.

“I don’t need my hand to be held,” I outed, trying to conceal the tenderness of my nerves and the growing attachment I was beginning to feel. “I just thought he was a good friend of yours was all.” I brushed off his comment to reposition myself and assert my independence. I’d relied on men a few times before, and so far, it hadn’t had the best outcome in the long run.

"He is, and I'll be there," Paul replied with a much more serious tone in his voice to match my own.

"Good," I said, finalising our conversation.

"Good," he confirmed, allowing us both to pause momentarily and realise the situation we were both about to enter. A friendship crafted from very different sides of the track.

"I’ve got to go do uni things." I scrambled for an excuse to hang up, even though I wanted to stay on the line with him as long as I could.

"Goodbye, Bianca."

I hung up.

What the fuck was I doing? A brothel? Mum would’ve sent me to Catholic boarding school if she knew this is how my life was going to turn out. She was probably turning in her grave right now.

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