Jane Austin - Pride and Prejudice

protested that “he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour

in a person of rank—such affability and condescension, as he had

himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously

pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had already

had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him

twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday

before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady

Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but _he_ had

never seen anything but affability in her. She had always spoken

to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the

smallest objection to his joining in the society of the

neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a

week or two, to visit his relations. She had even condescended to

advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with

discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble

parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations

he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some

herself—some shelves in the closet up stairs.”

“That is all very proper and civil, I am sure,” said Mrs. Bennet,

“and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that

great ladies in general are not more like her. Does she live near

you, sir?”

“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by

a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s residence.”

“I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”

“She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very

extensive property.”

“Ah!” said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off

than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she

handsome?”

“She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself

says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far

superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there is that in

her features which marks the young lady of distinguished birth.

She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has

prevented her from making that progress in many accomplishments

which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed by

the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides

with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to

drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”

“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the

ladies at court.”

“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in

town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has

deprived the British court of its brightest ornament. Her

ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may imagine that I

am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate

compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more

than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter

seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank,

instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. These

are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it

is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound

to pay.”

“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for

you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May

I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse

of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”

“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though

I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such

little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary

occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as

possible.”

Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as

absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest

enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute

composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional glance at

Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.

By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet

was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again, and, when

tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr.

Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but, on

beholding it (for everything announced it to be from a

circulating library), he started back, and begging pardon,

protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and

Lydia exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some

deliberation he chose Fordyce’s Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened

the volume, and before he had, with very monotonous solemnity,

read three pages, she interrupted him with:

“Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away

Richard; and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt

told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow

to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from

town.”

Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but

Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said:

“I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by

books of a serious stamp, though written solely for their

benefit. It amazes me, I confess; for, certainly, there can be

nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But I will no

longer importune my young cousin.”

Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist

at backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that

he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling

amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly

for Lydia’s interruption, and promised that it should not occur

again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after

assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will, and

should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself

at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.

Mr. Collins was not a sensible man, and the deficiency of nature

had been but little assisted by education or society; the

greatest part of his life having been spent under the guidance of

an illiterate and miserly father; and though he belonged to one

of the universities, he had merely kept the necessary terms,

without forming at it any useful acquaintance. The subjection in

which his father had brought him up had given him originally

great humility of manner; but it was now a good deal counteracted

by the self-conceit of a weak head, living in retirement, and the

consequential feelings of early and unexpected prosperity. A

fortunate chance had recommended him to Lady Catherine de Bourgh

when the living of Hunsford was vacant; and the respect which he

felt for her high rank, and his veneration for her as his

patroness, mingling with a very good opinion of himself, of his

authority as a clergyman, and his right as a rector, made him

altogether a mixture of pride and obsequiousness, self-importance

and humility.

Having now a good house and a very sufficient income, he intended

to marry; and in seeking a reconciliation with the Longbourn

family he had a wife in view, as he meant to choose one of the

daughters, if he found them as handsome and amiable as they were

represented by common report. This was his plan of amends—of