Kirill Leonidov - The Reflection. A Collection of Novels

– Kelp.

– Help?

“What’s going on?” asked the wife. She and the four-legged best friend looked at me puzzled.

The sessions was over, I did not get an answer for my last question.

– “Ugh, why did you interrupt me? I finally made contact!” I grumbled.

– “With whom?” Emma asked surprised.

– “I thought, it asked for help.”

– “This is where it all starts. Haven’t you seen the movies? ‘They’ always need your help, the next thing you know – they come pouring down, all in need of something. Promise me to stop. We don’t need any more troubles. We’ve got enough on our own. Better call your son more often. Or walk the dog, if you need to relax. The dog woofed in agreement.”

I promised. Just to defuse the situation. I didn’t mean to follow up.

The next day, when Emma left, I started up the equipment again.

– “Simon, please respond. It is George. Do you hear me?”

– “Yes…”

I gasped for air,

– “Do you still need my help?”

– “Will you?” he replied.

– “What is happening to your right now?”

– “Need sweem. Waters dark. And pain. I’m afraid.”

– “Do you see the light?”

– “Do you?”

– “Its light here, I am not swimming in the dark.”

– “Yes. Not swim… “[unintelligible]

– “Do you know how to get out?”

– “Nobody… Breathe.”

– “Please, try to calm down. Calm down.”

– “Help.”

– “How?”

– “Say: ‘Hang on, Simon. Ish not for ever.’”

– “Simon,” I was too anxious, lost my breath, the tears started rolling down. Can’t even remember the last time I felt like this. “Hang on, it’s not forever!” If my words do mean something…

– “Not for… Thanks. Struggle.”

– “Fight it, Simon. Try as hard as you can. You will do it. What do you see around you?”

– “Loneli…”

– “Loneliness? You can’t see that.”

– “And you.”

– “Me?”

– “You and me. Reflect.”

The session was over and Simon did not answer. Did he drown? Where? What kind of crap is that? Why did he say “you and me” I laid down on the bed and the dog started whining, probably felt my confusion. I couldn’t for hours. Suddenly then, I remembered myself drowning. I was twelve at the time. My cousin saved me. Grabbed me from the very bottom of the lake at pulled to the surface. Felt very nauseous afterwards. Can’t stand the smell of lakewater now.

And back then… I felt that loneliness. The despair, the weakness, the indifference of the world. Simon is right I saw it too! Saw! At the bottom, looking up and feeling my consciousness slip away I saw a flickering light of the surface. My friends playing under the weak light of the sun. We were on different planes of reality and I felt pain and cold. I need to say something encouraging to him. To give him the strength to fight! I jump up and go back to the computer. No voices. Just some static and vibrations. The EVP enthusiasts call them “nulls” – you can’t usually hear anything intelligible in these recordings. What did he mean by “reflect”? Is it just another word that got corrupted? And “you and me”. What do we have in common? I came up to the mirror and save a gloomy looking fellow with bags under the eyes and drooping mouth. Yeah, sure. “Reflect”. I’d certainly love not to.

The next night I waited to speak with Simon tête-à-tête. But it all began even stranger than before. Firstly, I got a response from “Sanjita” station, even though I explicitly asked for Simon. They said they’d try to make contact and I should “talk to myself”, so that the connection would be better. What did they mean by “to myself”? What should I ask? Then Simon responded,

– “I’m still here. We should bi…”

– “Be what?” I asked.

– “Bid far…”

– “Farewell? No, let’s go up first, then say our goodbyes. Believe in yourself and move forward. There’s no weight where you swim. You are full of energy. You must… see the light.”

Where did the “energy” and the “light” come from? Astounding! The feeling of guilt and pain started growing in me. It appeared suddenly and enveloped me, I felt as if I let somebody down.

– “I’m sorry…” I exhaled loudly.

– “I see!”

– “See? What do you see?”

– “The light. It is alive and warm. Warm. Warm.”

Unbelievable. I hear him loud and clear, as if he’s talking on the phone – no static and interference. I can even hear him breathe,

– “Are you out yet? Simon?”

– “It is yours,” he responded.

– “Mine? What is mine?”

– “You know…”

The last words were lost in the static. I’ve never heard of him again and soon stopped experimenting with EVP, much to the delight of my wife. I want to believe that Simon isn’t lonely anymore. I see the sun in a different way now. While there’s light, there’s hope.

But the story doesn’t end here. After a while, trying to figure out where did the feeling of guilt come from and what do I and Simon have in common, I remembered something I tried to (and almost succeeded) forget. Long time ago, I was having a picnic near a pond. Somewhere in the middle of our feast a boy started drowning in the pond. He desperately flailed his hands; around him were his older friends that could’ve easily pulled him out. But no one did, they only shouted at him. “Swim, stay afloat!” The boy could not possible make it to the shore. He panicked the waters started swallowing him. No use trying to hide it – I was drunk. I did not immediately see the scene. It was April the water was ice cold. But could’ve and should’ve tried to rescue him. Swim to him! Instead I waited for his friends to help. My indecisiveness wasted the precious seconds the boy had. He drowned right before our eyes. Afterwards, I counted seconds, tried to console myself. Said that I couldn’t make it even if I saw it right away.

But the truth is – I could. And did not. Did not do what my cousin did.

After the contact with Simon, I looked into that incident once again. Going back to it was hard. I dug up the details. The boys tried to raft on the pond, but it overturned. That one boy did not know how to swim. Can you guess his name?

Sometimes, I stand in front of the mirror and look the reflection in the eyes. I talk to myself. And to him …

The married couple of Vladimir and Maria Kretov left the hotel room… I wouldn’t say early. The male half of the couple sure did take his sweet time getting up from bed, bathing and dressing up, as if being late for breakfast was a necessary part of some ritual: everyone was waiting for his entrance with fanfares. Vova cared not for the lost time, for the usual morning hunger (which he surprisingly didn’t have), and especially for his wife’s reproaches and grumbling.

The breakfast itself left no strong impression on him. His eyes looked somewhere beyond the bacon, which was quite “not-bad-at-all” [this is one of words Maria uses to evaluate everything, and it falls somewhere on the middle of the scale. “Super-duper” would be the highest praise possible, while “cheapish” is reserved for the lowest of the low]. Masha explained her husband’s behavior quite simple: he was overworked and tired. Vladimir Kretov was the Head of a bank’s Legal Department and recently, due to the economic difficulties, the bank worker’s bread and butter had very little of the latter on it. Well, that was not unheard of then. Theirs was not the only company in dire straits. The work piled through the roof. Hordes of idiots came pouring from everywhere. There was no shortage of their kind before, but now it could be called a full-blown infestation. The small fries reacted to their bigger Moscow siblings’ battlecries and began spreading all kinds of conflicting, doubling or nonsensical orders. Everyone, even the fools eventually got confused by this state of affairs. The idiots were baffled. How could their orders bring anything but prosperity to the bank and the country? Then they tried to fix the situation, which, of course, consisted of trying to find the scapegoat in the ranks of the non-idiots. The work turned into the struggle to survive, akin to paving your way through the “jungle” with a dull blade. But the “jungle” was getting thicker, darker and scarier.