Anton Anderson - The Seekers - Soul Ties

Burning through time this way, Sabiri hardly noticed how the evening came. With everything done in the house, she visited the market and bought a few fish for dinner. Cursing herself for not being as good at cooking as Iskrila, Sabiri did her best. But it was another who entered, which was obvious because she knocked.

«Smells nice!» Haileen’s nose took in the scent of baked fish. «Don’t worry, I’m not hungry.»

Sabiri let her in, getting ready to be punished for her absence. «How did the talks go?»

Haileen went straight to the cabinet filled with games and Sabiri’s figurines. «Nothing new, but we really polished our existing plans. Risha’s good, but who I’m really impressed with is Amber.»

«Yep, I wish I was nearly as intelligent at her age.» Sabiri was surprised and glad about Haileen’s choice of subject.

Haileen returned to the table with a deck of cards.

«Let’s play while you’re waiting for Iskrila. After all, something should keep your mind off all the burdens and insecurities you’ve got.»

A veil of dread choked Sabiri, just like when she heard of Iskrila’s capture. Unable to move a muscle, she just stood there, watching Haileen shuffling the cards and listening to the sizzling fish.

«Take the food out and sit down.» Haileen stared at her, still shuffling cards. «Star gave you this job for a reason. But whatever her way of dealing with your shit is, mine’s different.»

With numb hands, Sabiri retrieved the steaming bodies, covered them with a warm blanket, then joined Haileen, who had already dealt the cards.

«How did you know I’m waiting for Iskrila?»

«Who else could you wait for? Star’s having dinner at her place, and you didn’t invite me. Do you have friends I don’t know about?»

A few more minutes passed in awkward silence. Well, Sabiri knew the silence was awkward just for her, not for Haileen. She cursed herself a thousandth time already, when the door swung open once again.

«Oh, smells like dinner! Thanks, Sabiri. And, Haileen, hi!»

Sabiri jumped to her feet and rushed to the stove. «What’s the news?» she asked as she served the dish.

Iskrila was vigorously scraping her hands in soapy water. «I did find a few extra blades, but not nearly enough. So, don’t wait up for me and go to sleep. The sooner I finish, the better our healers can train before the battle.»

Those words killed Sabiri’s last hopes of getting rid of Haileen. Iskrila quickly pushed the food into her mouth and rushed back to work, leaving her in the company of Haileen and her own guilt and misery.

«Talk to me,» said Haileen after Sabiri had lost yet another game. «How are you going to be a war mistress with an attitude like this?»

«Attitude like what? I’m trying my best to both achieve the objective, and to not risk lives unnecessarily.»

«I do get it. But you’re so uncomfortable with the decisions that you constantly get someone else to make them. You need to learn how to decide on your own. How to stick to your decision and how to stop regretting it.»

Sabiri wanted to object that asking for advice was a good thing. But she knew it was a lie. She wasn’t really asking for advice – she was seeking ways to avoid responsibility.

«I don’t know how to do it!» Sabiri tried to recall whether she had made at least one hard choice she was comfortable with. «This shit never changes! With cards I just assume what you have, what I might get next turn, and I’m comfortable with it! But in real life…»

Haileen got quiet for a while, while Sabiri got up and went to check out her figurines, all to keep her hands busy.

«Well, let’s cooperate with Star and the others to fix your problem,» Haileen finally said. «Sorry to add to your pile, but I got preoccupied lately. What are we going to do with them? Star hopes Drowners will calm down. Tough thing, considering we’re going to burn their village and take them captive.»

Sabiri started thinking out loud. «Well, at first they’ll be scared shitless, running away from their burning homes and buildings. When we take the survivors, most of them will just be glad they’re alive. It is later when they realize that some of their friends and loved ones are dead. By our hand. It’s our job to make sure they never forget why it happened, so they remember why they should at least try to make peace.»

Haileen sighed heavily. «Some of them will never forgive us. Some of them love what they’ve been doing lately, I’m sure.»

«The only alternative is to kill them all.» Sabiri shook her head. «No one’s a fan of this option, but it’s a safer one.»

Holding a figurine of an igni, Sabiri tried her best to imagine what Drowners would think. Would they see there was no other way? Would they accept their help in rebuilding the village? Would they be allies again? Ever again? In a thousand years from now? Or would they plot revenge?

She sighed. «Let’s just hope they won’t hold the grudge against us for too long.»

«If only I had your optimism, Sabiri.» Haileen started shuffling the cards again. «I’m really expecting all sorts of trouble after the battle is over. That is, if the battle will happen at all. For the past few days now, I’ve been haunted by this thought. Drowners aren’t stupid. What if they had the same idea? What if they’re preparing their own attack?»

«Because Jaesa promised us? Drowners keep and keep on expanding their raids, but they never hit any of our tribes. You think they could learn about our plans?»

Haileen nodded. «How can they not learn about it, when so many people are involved? That many mouths just can’t stay shut for long!»

Sabiri sighed. «That’s true, people do talk. But as long as the ears are not Drowners’, we should be fine.» She started strolling around the house. «If they are preparing something, then they would be acting alone. They can’t take any of our villages on their own. Cause serious damage – sure – but they should know that the rest of the tribes would retaliate instantly.»

«But what if – » Haileen wanted to object.

« – outside help? It would require money, the kind Drowners don’t possess yet. Can they sell our lands? The Lake is great, sure, but people can fish in a river with no problem. How can the Lake be worth such risk and, most likely, losses, if you can still get fish and water in abundance elsewhere? So, they can’t sell our lands expensive enough.»

«I’ve been thinking. I mean, it’s gross, but… what if they have an agreement with one of the allied tribes?»

Sabiri shook her head. «They are on our side. Star knows her stuff, we’re safe on this front.»

«If she thinks so… Well, she was wrong about Jaesa. Still, something just feels foul.»

«It means you’re mindful. That’s a good thing, but you still need info to prove yourself right or wrong with something solid. If Imbrergoso sought outside help – we would know. We’ve got people pressing ears to the right keyholes.»

Haileen smiled, «I still think it is a miracle. If there was at least one person against it, if she’d warn Drowners…»

«How would it be different?» Sabiri picked up another of her figurines from the shelf. «Any thoughts?»

Haileen shook her head. «Depends on their tactics. If they were desperate enough to attack…» She thought for a few seconds. «Even without much preparation from our part, it would be over for them. You’re right: even if they were to learn, it would change little. I’ll try to think about something else.»

Sabiri went to the window to hopefully spot Iskrila returning. It was very late, but there was still no sign of her. The last lights died off in a house across the street, and now there was nothing but darkness outside.